SPAM Haiku: Cannibalism

SHAM-6.
World runs out of food
Except SPAM and dead people.
Soylent Green stocks rise.

10.
If the "Alive" guys
Had some SPAM on board the plane,
What would they eat first?

--Alec Proudfoot, alec@netcom.com

42.
The pink SPAM glistens
On a blue plate of plastic.
O my Soylent Green.

--J. Allen Schones, jas@ocncra.att.com

94.
Charlton Heston cries,
In science fiction epic:
"It's made of people!"

--Norm Lunde, norm@boxhill.com

256.
Took the SPAM plant tour.
A cause for fear and concern:
WORKERS MISSING LIMBS!!!

--Bill T. Cat

318.
Burnt or buried dear?
We had him spammed just like Dad
Can I have a slice?

--Richard Cutting, cutting@cmc.cz

464.
The small tab broken:
SPAM trapped inside forever!
Cannibalism?

--Dave "spam" Krider, http://www.cco.caltech.edu/~ekrider/FunEMail/funemail.html

518.
Both Mrs. Lovett
and Sweeny Todd would approve
serving people SPAM.

--John St. Croix, jstcroix@hr.house.gov

633.
Three men in lifeboat.
No food 'cept SPAM. Hour later:
Two men in lifeboat.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

684.
Abortionist's trash
Contains grisly organs, meat.
SPAM for lunch again.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

687.
Chinese say no more
Than two kids, then abortion.
SPAM supply maintained.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

881.
Where's Jimmy Hoffa?
Buy a can of SPAM, my friend--
Corpus delicti.

--jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

939.
I sometimes wonder
if what Dahmer left in fridge
was shipped to Hormel

--Jonathan Black, damaginc@siu.edu

942.
Conspiracies fly...
But Hoffa passed through my in-
testines. DEATH BY SPAM!!!

--Jonathan Black, damaginc@siu.edu

1048.
My penis fell off
today. Leprosy. Donate
my ding-dong to SPAM.

--Jonathan Black, damaginc@siu.edu

1148.
The world now-a-days
Is overpopulated.
Oh God, soylent SPAM!

--Kenji Spielman

1570.
SPAM is an offah
To lose your appetite, but
Find Jimmy Hoffa.

--Peter Yannone

1673.
Hormel Orphanage:
Many unwanted babies
Welcome; none come out.

--Martin Booda, booda@datasync.com

1816.
"The pork is unclean!"
Rallying cry overheard.
Speakers now in tins.

--Mike McGaff

1965.
Then, again, what if
The first two letters of SPAM
Stand for "Soylent Pink"?

--Greg O'Rear, jgo.systems@mhs.unc.edu

2203.
Future nourishment
after all plant life is gone,
"Pass the Soylent Pink."

--Holly Jenson, hj@rosenet.net

2211.
Fifth "SPAM is Soylent
Green" joke spotted. We need a
moratorium.

--Chris "Grumpy Old Man" Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2225.
you will eat my pig
eat him! he is processed meat
where is my finger?

--Anonymous

2251.
Ate a can of SPAM
right before I went to bed.
Donner party dreams.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2308.
Yeah, yeah, SPAM is great.
Yeah, yeah, SPAM is good. What if
SPAM was one of us?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2371.
Star Trek: TNG.
Where'd Dr. Pulaski go?
Look in the blue can.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2374.
I cut off a chunk,
then I saw it wasn't SPAM,
but...A HUMAN HEAD!!!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2441.
Last night the SPAM-man
Came and stole my sleeping brain.
Boing! There is no pain.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2442.
At the Charnel Grot,
Mad Hormel stirs his pot. My
Brain floats to the top.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2527.
Gelatinous host,
When right-wing talk shows fade out,
Rush him into SPAM.

--Dave Silverman, nas8@psu.edu

2672.
I eat the pink pork
like so many M & Ms.
MMMMM good, like my mom.

--Anonymous

2822.
Historical fact:
The Donner party carried
lots and lots of SPAM.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

3363.
Cannibalism
jokes are pretty easy to
make about this stuff.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3554.
A dog walks the street.
Sniffs an empty can of SPAM
and wonders. Humans...

--Steve Sapovits, steves@telebase.com

3831.
What does a rat call
Another rat who eats SPAM?
"Cannibalistic."

--jam@altagroup.com

4184.
Capitalism.
Birth. School. Work. Old age. Death. SPAM.
Capitalism.

--Benjamin Givens, givensb@mpe.ghc.org

4195.
Analyzing SPAM
just might solve the mystery
of Jimmy Hoffa.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4376.
SPAM's other secret
ingredient: Angolan
basketball players.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4643.
Mean English teacher,
I will make her into SPAM.
It will be tasty.

--shane beck

4748.
Digging in the trash,
Found leftover baby parts.
More SPAM for the poor.

--Angelo

4785.
The madman wants to
Eat humans. We feed him SPAM;
He's none the wiser.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4850.
Out of boomerangs,
They send his head to Hormel.
It comes back as SPAM.

--John Mitchell, JAM@altagroup.com

4855.
Miss Piggy tries SPAM
A foul deed forced on her by
The hand up her ass

--John Mitchell, JAM@altagroup.com

5488.
In the can of SPAM
A severed human finger
Pleasant texture change

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5890.
No one wants to say
If it's salmon or headcheese
It could be your mom

--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net

5948.
ingredient list
sodium hydrogenate
homo sapiens?

--Anonymous

5984.
Laid in the shower
Pig parts you don't recognize
Soylent green is SPAM!!!

--WRKSOFFART

5986.
Donner's Pass snow storm
Box of SPAM and dead people
Easy decision

--The Bluzman

6062.
Don't feed your kids SPAM
Bet that's how Jeffrey Dahmer
Got urge to eat folks

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6125.
Did you know that where
people were cannibals they
eat ten times more SPAM?

--Anonymous

6283.
Hoffa, Earhart, Bierce.
Where are they? What mystery?
SPAM cans tell no tales.

--tsquared

6284.
Screaming in horror,
"If Soylent Green is people...
My God, what is SPAM!"

--tsquared

6320.
You won't ever see
Bulk emailers eating SPAM
They're not cannibals

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6650.
Soylent Green or Spam
Given the choice, I would be
a people person.

--Robert W Reed, robert_w_reed@ccm2.hf.intel.com

6662.
two blue can of spam
one lay on top other one
what da heck they do!

--manic mike

6676.
look into the spam
the reflection that i see
i will not eat me

--zoot

6739.
When Uncle Fred died --
suddenly, in the pantry,
ten new cans of Spam.

--Anonymous

7023.
You look like a sliced
Cadaver. Food for my thought.
Gee, I wonder why??

--Nick Roy

7120.
Open a blue can
Image of Charlton Heston
Call it Soylent Pink

--Dave, psu17335@odin.pdx.edu

7326.
Jeff Dahmer in jail.
He was fed some SPAM and said,
"How can you eat this?"

--Anonymous

7231.
Saw my dog eat SPAM
"You horrible dog!" I cried
He's a cannibal

--Allison L and Olin S, joseats@unity.ncsu.edu

7619.
Wonder what happened
to Jimmy Hoffa's body?
It's on a cracker.

--Brad Taylor, nemo@x-press.net

7691.
CANNIBALS SAY THAT
HUMAN FLESH TASTES MOST LIKE PORK.
IS PINK SPAM CANNED MAN?

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7925.
I'm going loopy
First I ate my own sister
Now I'm eating.....SPAM!!!!!!

--Matthew Barker 'Spaminator', psychofish@hotmail.com

7976.
Hormel profits swell
Soylent Pink(TM) feeds the masses
Rich shareholders laugh

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

8068.
Grind bulk e-mailers
Pack 'em in little blue cans
More bandwidth for all

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

8074.
SPAM is great to eat
Dumb cannibals think it's meat
Silly cannibals

--Stumpy

8080.
SPAM tastes like human
It tastes really darn groovy
Really, try it now!

--stumpy

8283.
Why are workers at
SPAM processing plant missing
Fingers and toes? ----- EEEWW!

--Wild T.


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John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.