SHAM-81.
A SPAM slice frying
In the southern hemisphere
Turns counterclockwise.
SHAM-85.
How many degrees
Can one tilt an ungreased pan
Before a loaf slips?
SHAM-87.
What's really in SPAM?
Biologists say it's a
Can of nematodes.
SHAM-131.
New discovery:
SPAM waves. Thought to propagate
In gel-like ether.
SHAM-132.
SPAM-wave detector:
Immerse man in gel. If he
Gains weight, SPAM wave's there.
SHAM-133.
Can information
Be sent by using SPAM waves?
No. Just calories.
SHAM-134.
SPAM wave as weapon
Used during Cold War. Doubtful?
Yeltsin's size. Case closed.
SHAM-135.
Remote sensing with
SPAM waves needs work. Too much pork
In the ground clutter.
SHAM-136.
Communist China
Uses SPAM waves for jamming.
All you get's pink noise.
SHAM-137.
Relativity
Predicts SPAM waves will bend near
Massive trailer parks.
SHAM-138.
Astronomy news:
SPAM waves from distant stars are
Always pink-shifted.
SHAM-139.
As an object gets
Near the speed of SPAM waves, its
Fat content goes up.
SHAM-202.
SPAM volcano blows.
Stratosphere laden with pork.
Gorgeous pink sunsets.
97.
Scientists sought that
Which man was not meant to know:
SPAM ingredients.
117.
Split the SPAM atom
Enormous pink mushroom cloud
World covered in pork
177.
Who discovered SPAM?
Biohazard! No Access!
But someone went in.
263.
Apollo 13:
What really happened up there?
SPAM got in the works.
300.
SPAM Symmetry Group:
top bottom, left right, up down
Iso-tasty moves.
367.
Miniature tadpoles,
Mine had one X, one Y...SPAM?
Oops, thought you said sperm.
456.
Spamatazoan
swimming freely, abandon,
spies egg, breaks through, pink.
461.
Ivan Pavlov's dog
Drooled, but never drooled for SPAM.
THAT would be a trick!
470.
A dark, moonless night
In the sky a wondrous sight
The SPAM Nebula
565.
Clear chunk waits inside.
It rises!? -- No, just a dream.
Entropy triumphs.
586.
Liquid nitrogen:
Dunk SPAM in, hit with hammer.
Pink shards fly about.
588.
Schrödinger's SPAM: One
minute the pork snouts are dead.
The next, they're alive!
640.
slowly forgotten,
it deserves a little more
atomic shielding
647.
MRI of SPAM.
T1, T2--no matter.
Homogeneous.
661.
SPAModynamics:
SPAM is never destroyed, just
Eaten, puked, or shat.
748.
Order from chaos
Differentiated flesh
SPAM proves entropy
1171.
Universe explodes
Spews pork across the cosmos
The Big SPAM Theory
1184.
Dinosaurs vanished
Extinction's cause now revealed
SPAM meteorite
1224.
Volume of a pig?
Easy to compute with SPAM
Length times height times width
1246.
Playing with SPAM and
Genetic engineering
Strange horrors result.
1375.
Einstein enjoyed SPAM
The can is shaped like warped space
SPAM at speed of light
1442.
Stephen Hawking writes
about "pink holes" in A Brief
History of SPAM.
1471.
Archaeology:
The field crew dug up some SPAM
perfectly preserved.
1629.
Feed a growing world?
Oak Ridge and Hormel create
SPAMatomic bomb!
1684.
In the Beginning
"Big SPAM"...Quarks and pigs chaote.
Some sweet and sour pork?
1716.
Galactic wormholes
Excrete amorphous garbage.
Stars are made from SPAM.
1719.
Galileo probe
Reveals Jupiter's secret--
SPAM, the Great Pink Spot!
1758.
Red Super Giant,
SPAM, about to implode now.
Another meat ball.
1760.
Morphogenetic
Fields of SPAM transcend our space.
Quantumeity!
1764.
Spamiverse exists
In a stretched cubic Pinkum.
Uncertainty rules.
1949.
Light long fuse to SPAM
Can; then run like hound of Hell.
Anti-matter bomb!
1950.
Schrödinger's cat shat.
Darwin's ape assed. Hormel's pig
Pooped. "SPAM Super-Mix."
2085.
weightlessness of space
SPAM sits heavy in stomach
no SPAM astronauts
2086.
SPAM there/SPAM not there
uncertainty principle
have to turn the key
2094.
Archimedes drowns
In SPAM bath: shouts "Akerue!"
Which means "Me dense Greek!"
2120.
New fundamental
particle found in pig snouts.
It's the SPARK (SPiced quARK).
2164.
Five states of matter:
Solid, liquid, gas, plasma,
and (don't forget!) SPAM.
2187.
Coat the space shuttle
with tiles of hot, greasy SPAM:
One slick re-entry.
2206.
Schwarzschild shrinks his SPAM.
Implosion rocks lab canteen.
Pink holes suck cream pops.
2207.
Glurgle, glurgle mass-
Ive SPAM: how we wonder what
You am. Pink matter?
2214.
Take SPAM out of can--
Rub SPAM upon shag carpet--
Electricity!
2236.
Sink wires in SPAM can
Weird chemicals interact
Makes good battery
2247.
never studied SPAM
inorganic chemistry
just isn't my field
2356.
Arecibo dish.
Pranksters fill it up with SPAM
right up to the top.
2407.
Betelgeuse is made
Of SPAM; and, maybe, Alde-
Baran too. I think?
2415.
Darwin--specific
selection is Nature's way...
mankind or SPAMkind?
2481.
Eat up, down, and strange
pig parts of uncertainty.
Quantum leap of faith.
2510.
Galileo probe
found there's SPAM in Jupiter.
NASA hushed it up.
2511.
I'm not kidding here.
The Great Red Spot is composed
of SPAM and methane.
2512.
Yes, I'm serious!
Jupiter is SPAM!...What's that?
Medication time?
2607.
Better than baked beans,
SPAM loaf fuels bowel ballast.
Jet propulsion booms.
2640.
Sure glad they cancelled
the Super SPAM Collider.
What a waste of pork.
2690.
Left out for nine weeks
the fleshy loaf is intact.
What is its half-life?
2752.
A science project.
I made an evil monster.
It is made of SPAM.
2831.
Tragic nuclear
accident mutates piggies
into horrid SPAMs.
2832.
If Schrödinger's cat
eats the SPAM, uncertainty
is out the door: dead.
2833.
Enormous black hole
ejects pristine can of SPAM.
Physicists abuzz.
2834.
The question of soul
Expand molecules, extend...
Condense, congeal; SPAM.
2947.
Genetic research
finds SPAM gene distinguishing
pork "products" from food.
3185.
But tell us, Nolan,
When will the Big Pink One hit?
Yes, the SPAMsteroid.
3186.
Fifty klicks across
Penetrates the atmosphere
Impact wipes out life
3187.
Two hundred million
SPAM megatons detonate.
Continents shattered.
3188.
A cloud of methane
Gas and pinkish dust is raised,
Enveloping Earth.
3189.
Five million years pass.
Nature adapts, strange creatures
Made of SPAM evolve.
3216.
Einstein: Universe
Isn't caused by random blasts.
"God does not eat SPAM!"
3226.
Fossilized beetle.
DNA immobilized.
Trapped in clear SPAMber.
3235.
Dehydrated SPAM.
Born in a vacuum system.
Abhorred by Nature.
3238.
What are you strange quarks
doing in a can of SPAM?
You should know better.
3239.
One quantum of SPAM
makes you JUMP from here to there.
Energy compressed!
3285.
Thinner ozone there.
Antarctica this weekend.
Get a good sunSPAM.
3333.
E equals M C
squared. A tin of atomic
SPAM. Cold war lunch loaf.
3335.
The cat in the box
is Schrödinger's, live or what.
It ate SPAM, it's not!
3522.
SPAM--the missing link?
Darwin says it must be so.
The Ascent of SPAM.
3533.
The H-Bomb contains
Lithium-6 deuteride
and a pinch of SPAM.
3605.
Bakker's new theory:
Dinos so smart they made SPAM;
Extinction explained.
3606.
Dinosaur puzzle:
Bakker hates the meteor.
SPAM death? Nice try, Bob.
3607.
Europe considers
a conversion to Hormel's
SPAMetric system.
3608.
Hormel scientists
create ultra-sensitive
femtoSPAMeter.
3609.
New film emulsion
based on SPAM creates field of
photoSPAMetry.
3623.
Small and square piggy
From genetic engineers
Perfect for SPAM can
3630.
Sir Isaac on SPAM
said "What goes down must come up."
(Antigravity.)
3648.
Butterflies flutter
Causing a storm miles away.
SPAMku's just the same.
3649.
SPAM haiku let loose.
Critical mass reached, they're off--
Like chain reaction.
3735.
Attach electrodes
To the SPAM, jolt it, shock it--
Still it will not oink.
3760.
In the meteor,
Lodged deep within it, they found
A strange pinkish meat.
3767.
A lone can of SPAM
In orbit, slowly losing
Altitude. Beware.
3794.
SPAM, eternal SPAM.
"Food," nitrates, disturbing Muse.
Scientific art.
3800.
You can never know
What it's like 'til you taste it.
It's Schrödinger's SPAM.
3972.
SPAM in the first time
Inflation of chunky life
Multiply in cans
4223.
With SPAM in a can
Cosmic possibilities
Meat-space interface
4313.
A massive black hole
can even capture light, but
it won't swallow SPAM.
4490.
Microscopic life
found in Martian meteor.
But no food in SPAM.
4509.
Arecibo sees
Heaven while Cho examines
Hell: divine balance.
4510.
Life is found on Mars!
Quick...eat up all the old SPAM!
They use it for fuel!
4517.
Newton, Bach, Einstein
Calculus, Music, Physics
And now Hormel, SPAM
4558.
Heisenberg liked SPAM.
Certain about nothing, though
Surprise was his lot!
4637.
Transmit SPAM haiku
to space from Arecibo--
no more aliens!
4761.
A logic nightmare:
Ten thousand inputs, one out;
It is the SPAM gate.
4868.
Frozen block of SPAM
Lurking in my freezer like
A germy Mars rock.
5002.
Food innovation
Better living through science
SPAM is proof of that
5037.
The companion "star"
to Hale-Bopp turns out to be
a giant SPAM can.
5131.
Law of Digestion
of SPAM: SPAM not absorbed, it
also isn't changed.
5159.
Mars rock crashed to Earth
Scientists gather data
SPAM trace detected
5183.
The final frontier
Understanding the nature
Of the tinned meat, SPAM
5217.
Archimedes soaks
Pig falls into the bathtub
Eureka! Found SPAM!
5220.
I examine SPAM
The electron microscope
Leaves nothing hidden
5262.
Scientists probe SPAM
Trying to solve mystery
Inexplicable
5325.
The newspapers scream
SPAM DISCOVERED ON THE MOON!
NASA gets funding
5362.
Scientists test SPAM
Try to work out its nature
It remains unsolved
5748
SPAM waves interfere:
"But I canna change the laws
of physics, Captain!"
5778.
SPAM, cat: in a box.
Without looking, can you say
If cat is alive?
5779.
When you move real fast
Relative to the SPAM can,
SPAM looks smaller. Good.
5853.
NASA launches SPAM
Ozone contaminated
Help: Pinkhouse Effect
5931.
If meat is murder,
SPAM fried, in more ways than one,
is death warmed over.
6149.
Scottish scientists
thought of cloning SPAM, but thought,
"That's just plain evil."
6211.
death was not too much
for casual scientists
who dared to clone SPAM.
6231.
What would Darwin say
Does SPAM make the theory of
De-evolution?
6291.
Evolution or
Creation. How did SPAM start.
Eternity waits.
6292.
Primordial ooze
Covers the SPAM but is it
Darwin or Devine
6293.
SPAM evolution
Freely taught to my children
Could God create SPAM
6294.
Evolution or
Creation the SPAM debate
Only Hormel knows
6295.
Darwin and the Church
Shall finally come to see
That the SPAM just is
6953.
SPAM shot into space.
But lipids in the air cause
pink mass on Doppler.
7036.
Mystery of life
Laws of physics in question
Whole pig in small can
7128.
Home experiment
SPAM left in Coke for a week
Dissolves not a bit
7161.
Science in the news:
Man has brain replaced by SPAM
Thinks unwholesome thoughts
7399.
1928:
Bacteria shun Fleming's
Week old Hormel ham.
7455.
Tissues in SPAM loaf
Identified by students
Bio 101
7456.
Working late in lab
Pink substitute for dinner
SPAM supports science
7505.
SPAM is leftover
Pork from dawn of Universe
Compressed in Planck time.
7642.
Science finals time!
Studying reproduction
of SPAM. My guess? Spores.
7971.
Photons dance and spin
Quantum duality shrieks
SPAM's fabric unknown
8359.
Photon leaves the sun.
In ninety-three million miles
illuminates SPAM.
8449.
Scientists have cloned
A sheep. They could clone a pig,
Then SPAM, then SPAMku...
8449.
Scientists have cloned
A sheep. They could clone a pig,
Then SPAM, then SPAMku...
8449.
Scientists have cloned
A sheep. They could clone a pig,
Then SPAM, then SPAMku...
8459.
Pig's innards, pork rinds:
fundamental particles
of the new physics.
8558.
In the doctor's lab
I arose from the test tube
Product of SPAM genes