SHAM-12.
SPAM as a sex toy:
Soft, safe, self-lubricated.
Afterwards: warm lunch.
SHAM-65.
Jack wants to father.
But why eat so much SPAM, Jack?
"My spam count is low."
SHAM-89.
I kissed you at lunch,
Your lips still shiny from the
Hot, freshly fried slice.
151.
Psych analysis:
imagine lingeried SPAM.
Sexy? You're kooky.
191.
The pinkness of SPAM
How it reminds me of you
It tastes like you too!
201.
In regards to SPAM:
Sexual hangups aside,
It makes me feel strange.
316.
Sexy smooth SPAM legs
waxed fatted and lyrical
straddle my porky
320.
When I look at SPAM
I soooo lasciviously
think of you and me.
322.
SPAM pass me the SPAM
Wow that's tongue from your big pork
Annoink my breasts Lord
332.
If she ate some SPAM
Attractive Cindy Crawford
Would never get laid
360.
Across my dreams dance
Large-breasted women and SPAM.
Freud would be baffled.
361.
Leaning to kiss her,
Smelling her breath, I thought of
Love and luncheon loaf.
481.
Leering old codger
Entreats young girl from doorway--
"Want a piece of SPAM...?"
486.
Autoerotic!
Open can, insert member:
Wham, bam, thank you SPAM!
487.
So warm and squishy
One week in my underwear
Smell is horrible
507.
He proved his manhood
To the lunchroom girl with SPAM,
Swallowing it whole.
512.
Phallus made of SPAM
Although there's no threat of AIDS
There's cholesterol
527.
SPAM got hot, and shot;
spunk of SPAM is on my ham.
Wait twenty minutes.
537.
Soft pink SPAMmy mass
I want to be one with you
My hands get clammy
545.
I made love with SPAM...
...But some SPAM haiku should be
left unwritten...
610.
Suggestive SPAM odes
Hint at flesh, warm and supple
Are you sweaty yet?
664.
Tried to masturbate.
Suddenly, thoughts turned to SPAM.
Now I'm limp again.
694.
twenty years of age
have not experienced SPAM
please be gentle SPAM
904.
Does SPAM get confused
about its sexual pre-
ference? I hope not.
916.
I like to use SPAM
as a lubricant, but I'm
not gonna tell where.
923.
Tied my wife down and
oiled her with SPAM Spread and wax.
SPAMomasochist.
924.
I write SPAM haiku.
Day and night, nothing but SPAM...
I need to get laid.
946.
"I want to gel you,"
breathed the short, squat, pink stranger.
Miss Hormel melted.
1049.
I dig strange sex tricks...
Tied my wife to dead donkey.
Masturbate with SPAM.
1050.
Necrophiliac
picnic. Bring a "cool" date and
a warm can of SPAM.
1051.
My personal HELL:
Cops fondle me on cactus...
...plus SPAM enemas!!!
1079.
Tied blender between
wife's legs. Ground up SPAM...SHE CAME
LIKE NIAGARA!!!
1088.
Lepers are good in
bed. They scream out in pain, and
their tits are like SPAM!
1089.
Penis shriveled up
like rotting SPAM. It's the third
stage of syphillis.
1157.
Looking for women
That is all my roommate does
While he devours SPAM
1306.
Beneath the armpits
SPAM gives one a manly scent
Drives all women wild
1391.
SPAM! (sex) SPAM! (sex) SPAM!
Subliminal commercials.
A Hormel secret.
1462.
you can buy a nice
prostitute in vietnam
for a can of spam
1472.
SPAM is X-rated
its wiggle seduces me
it makes my can glad
1478.
Sweet pinkish jelly
Beckons me with sirens' call
Forget the KY
1526.
Girlfriend's twat too wide--
Insert molded slab of SPAM.
Now she's virginal.
1527.
SPAM, a lust object
Taking the fruit of my loins
White goo dribbles down
1535.
i love the pink meat
how it's on my hard penis
when i masturbate
1553.
Two dogs stuck fucking
Hormel brings some Vaseline
Pink cube on a stick
1602.
Sexy soft pink SPAM
Wisely sheathed inside metal
Not much fun, but safe
1605.
once upon a spam
pink hard warm inanimate
it's a perfect night
1611.
spam is not just meat
ultra aphrodisiac
if you're into that
1624.
Check is in the mail.
I'd never SPAM in your mouth.
I respect you, too!
1625.
SPAMclear power.
"It is safer than sex," say
Noted scientists.
1683.
A wild boar roots dirt.
The sanguine sow snorts slyly.
Wham, bam, thank you..."SPAM."
1693.
Hot loins aquiver
The tin opens wide and I
Start gargling the pink
1793.
SPAM, pink like a girl--
just play with it, lovingly
form that special shape.
1803.
For lubrication
As good as KY Jelly
And tastes better, SPAM.
2004.
Time for a quickie.
You look so pretty in pink.
Wham, bam, thank you, SPAM.
2090.
My Jewish girlfriend
naked, handcuffed, blindfolded,
doesn't know it's SPAM.
2092.
My tongue was worn out
Used SPAM for cunnilingus
She came forever
2093.
I carved a phallus
Sculpted from contents of blue.
Oh, dammit--it's limp.
2212.
And do we really
need more jokes with the punchline
"Wham, bam, thank you, SPAM"?
2215.
Basinger and SPAM
scene from 9 1/2 Weeks:
nixed, too explicit.
2233.
I woke up today
Nestled with a can of SPAM.
Oh, no! Not again!
2329.
Oysters and SPAM mousse.
Superb aphrodisiac.
Revives the tired bits!
2406.
"I don't know about
SPAM," said Freud, "nor anything
Else, but, maybe, sex."
2556.
Spam launched from darkness
Five hundred million at once
Searching for The One
2557.
Spam drawn to ovum
Ignites mystery of life
born Ham or Spumin'?
2558.
Same combination
New, holy definition
Spam and eggs, buddy
2574.
Firm, slick, and salty
your thick pink form excites me
sliding from the can
2575.
Velvety-smooth meat
I take you in my mouth and
swallow the juices
2653.
One two three four SPAM.
One two three four five six SPAM.
One two three sex SPAM.
2742.
Python song: "Every
SPAM Is Sacred." Wait. I think
That was something else.
2744.
Marlon Brando used
SPAM in place of butter in
"Last Tango in Pork."
2755.
Have you ever seen
a SPAM centerfold before?
It is naked SPAM!
2817.
Worldwide pollution
"Human Spam Counts Decreasing!"
The silver lining
2865.
Warbles Juliet,
"Wherefor art thou, Spameo?
Fill me with your meat."
3058.
Sheik comes out with a
New Spamskin condom. Turns out
It's edible. Yuk!
3149.
SPAM is real sexy
I put it in women's clothes
And spank my monkey
3150.
At this same moment
SPAM is oozing down my pants
Liquid fat tastes good
3152.
SPAM arouses me
I like SPAM up my rectum
Once it got stuck there
3197.
She eats SPAM today
She will eat SPAM tomorrow
SPAM gets her juicy
3225.
But to have kids, Sire,
your SPAM count should be higher.
I am not kidding.
3255.
Using S-x and SPAM
I could write a good haiku.
If I only knew!
3259.
You take time to love.
You look longingly at SPAM.
Then you take it in.
3260.
She was exciting.
And the SPAM was inviting.
A great lust supper.
3282.
Darlin', you put your
Sugar in my tea, I'll slap
My SPAM on your plate.
3309.
New York City sperm
Count blows away counts elsewhere...
Could it be the SPAM?
3395.
SPAM fits inside me
Like a dildo it shakes me
My pussy goes wild!
3466.
This versatile meat
Can be hollowed for a treat
Wham bam thank you SPAM!
3516.
SPAM is a woman
It's firm, it's juicy, it's fun
No one knows but me
3518.
SPAM is my hero
It's an aphrodisiac
It fills me with joy
3537.
Frosty SPAM milkshake
makes my loins crazy all day.
Nymphomania!
3667.
SPAM has quite a few
masturbatory uses.
Er...or so I've heard.
3682.
Hormel sex scandal
President caught rubbing SPAM
On assistant's ass
3742.
Anna Nicole Smith.
Just what makes 'em so darn big?
SPAM implants. No lie!
3825.
Polish survival
Kit: SPAM and condom. No shit.
Lord, the mind boggles.
3965.
SPAM accused of rape!
Forensic evidence found:
SPAMatozoa
4049.
"I'll spank you with SPAM
If you lick it from my toes."
--Fetishist's want ad
4098.
Portnoy, as a boy,
finds the liver much too rough.
Uses SPAM instead.
4118.
SPAM is good for sex
After making love I quip
SPAM Bam thank you ma'am
4205.
Make some SPAM fondue.
Turn some Johnny Mathis on.
Chicks really dig it!
4206.
Drop a pinch of SPAM
in her glass of Chardonnay.
Aphrodisiac!
4207.
Oops: I just found out
that trick only works on cheap
trailer trash. Sorry.
4214.
SPAM's good, SPAM is great
The intrinsic joy within--
I must masturbate!!
4298.
Changing the channel.
I hear the ad: "Sex with SPAM--
Next, on Geraldo."
4397.
My dog loves SPAM. He
Thinks it's cute, maybe on heat.
Must be the odor.
4399.
Aunt Mabel loves SPAM.
Makes her think of Tom undressed
And pink elephants.
4497.
The Kama Sutra
features a SPAM chapter that's
sure to turn you off.
4503.
Oh SPAM you're so good!!
Substitute for a woman,
Makes you think, don't it.
4596.
Crisco and K-Y,
axle grease, mud, and Jell-O:
Real men use SPAMLUBE.
4607.
A newsgroup from hell
is alt.binaries.pictures.
erotica.SPAM.
4608.
I used to love SPAM
But now abstain, since slicing
My member with can.
4660.
A tin of pink SPAM
can last just as long as a
lifetime without sex.
4681.
Got internet link,
Download cyber-SPAM pictures
From Holland: SPAM porn!
4695.
Soft, pink, fleshy SPAM
Goes from yonic to phallic
Hardening with heat
4751.
At my confession:
"I love SPAM." "What, carnally?"
Hadn't thought of that.
4776.
The man is ashamed
To tell the prostitute what
To do with the SPAM.
4782.
With knife to your neck
SPAM is on my crazy mind
Want that from behind
4796.
Catherine the Great,
according to rumor, was
crushed by falling SPAM.
4799.
Coed asks of SPAM,
"Why does it taste so salty?"
Wait, it wasn't SPAM.
4802.
A friend of a friend
told me that green SPAM is an
aphrodisiac.
4810.
Beavis and Butthead
Make jokes about meat products
Not SPAM though I think
4812.
Perverted old man
Eyeing the pink meat with lust
S.P.A.M.B.L.A. member...shame.
4818.
Woman of my dreams
Lying on the sofa nude.
Mmmm, those SPAM-like thighs.
4821.
It caused my divorce.
He got jealous in the end.
Phallus carved of SPAM.
4846.
SPAM between his cheeks
And yet he cannot taste it
"Squee like a piggy!"
4867.
Creative sex nut
has sex with a SPAM meatloaf.
Bestiality?
4893.
I came home early.
Found my wife in bed with SPAM.
"Pork me! Oh, pork me!"
4922.
I am surrounded
By cretins, like SPAM crust on
The rim of my glans.
4960.
A horny Hindu
The Kama Sutra and SPAM
A phony yoni
4963.
Her bath is my broth.
The painted pork prostitute
Makes the water blush!
4964.
Aphrodisiac
Hormel pork shoulders of love
Wham, SPAM, thank you, ma'am
5009.
New! "As the SPAM Turns"
Soap opera 'bout pork meat
Rather than porking
5022.
Neil sure loves his SPAM
He licks the lining of tin
Now he is sterile
5096.
Her buttocks move with
An articulated twitch,
SPAM-pink, yet firmer.
5584.
Obscene pork product
SPAM is a four-letter word
Hot porcine porno
5588.
Who needs those women?
SPAM is like Portnoy's liver
Cathartic release
5599.
The great lubricant.
I masturbate with canned meat.
So useful is SPAM.
5604.
The Castle Anthrax.
The SPAM shaped beacon is lit.
And now, oral sex.
5660.
"You would have swallowed
if you had really loved me."
She left him for SPAM.
5661.
Energizer SPAM
It keeps coming and coming
till the juice is gone.
5665.
Grab it! It feels good.
Mmm! Mmm! Finger-lickin' good...
(Hope no one saw that.)
5667.
He stared at her tits
and she knew he'd be cheating--
hot SPAM on his mind.
5673.
The best things in life
come in a can: beer and SPAM,
my boyfriend...sometimes.
5674.
Will you buy me SPAM?
Will you love me forever?
SPAM by dashboard light.
5675.
Ladies, quit nagging,
SPAM is better than a man!
Bite-size, no gagging.
5676.
May I lick your meat?
You're addictive, you're so sweet,
Pink spot on the sheet.
5689.
SPAM smells so sexy.
A little behind the ears,
And I can date cops.
5764.
you are a spamgot
SPAM leaks out of your gay butt
dripping down your balls
5792.
SPAM is in a can
SPAM's lard is lubricating
Put some on yo' ride
5807.
Pale pink and fleshy
Caressed by clear gelatin
My thighs are like SPAM
5854.
Johnny "The Wad" Holmes
Boasted a fourteen-inch SPAM
No blue can could fit
5882.
Anna Nicole Smith
Nipples like SPAM pyramids
Made the old man grin
5910.
Hey baby, Why don't
You slide on over by me
And feast on my SPAM?
5980.
Make love by the beach
Is there SPAM in the basket
Where shall I smear it
5985.
MIT sex life
Vacuous, empty, devoid.
Good thing there is SPAM.
5995.
My good friend Wilbert
Introduced me to this page
Stop spanking the SPAM
5996.
Tear open a can
Contents smeared on my member
Scream in SPAMgasm
5999.
Eating a hot SPAM
Naked man watches his porn
Would God eat this stuff
6007.
I be SPAM virgin
Never poked, nor porked, nor pigged
Pour me all your SPAM
6067.
Using SPAM as lube
Imparts a whole new meaning
To the term "porking"
6078.
Where are my panties?
And, wait...where did the SPAM go??
Oh Francis, you pig!
6108.
How the sweet pinkness
causes thoughts of lustfulness
and porkulescence.
6128.
Monkey spanking boy
Gave up woman's love for SPAM
Eat with left hand now
6130.
I draw her closer
But I doubt my intentions
I'm so full of SPAM
6150.
Fatty Arbuckle
shoved SPAM up...On second thought
I'll just shut up now.
6225.
Jelly on my hands
Slapping pink meat in my palms
SPAMasturbation
6229.
Eat by candle light
Blow up doll and a blue can
Hormel romantic
6236.
Garbage bags full of
the SPAM I used to make love--
That kid just ain't right.
6241.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Stroke your SPAM in the kitchen
Don't step in that stuff
6302.
My lubricant's gone
And I can't use Vaseline
So I'll use SPAM gel
6317.
Alone, I stroke SPAM
And remember how you felt
You slimy bastard.
6337.
No piglets for you?
Just smear your porky member
With a SPAMicide.
6362.
Porno on the net
SPAM laying warm in my hand
Monkey Spanking Boy
6547.
Quivering pink meat,
Jelly sliding all around,
Is it pork or porn?
6551.
web surfing for sex
what are you doing she asks?
just writing spamku
6573.
LIGHT A CIGARETTE
A DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE
ZIP UP; PINK SEMEN
6605.
I could write some more
But, Spam's worn me completely
Out, like good sex can
6642.
alone in my bed
humping my pretty blue friend
just me and my spam
6643.
faster, faster now
I spasmatically moaned
I'm almost home, spam
6647.
she is pink and blue
comes to me in dreams of spam
my bed is a mess
6648.
my dreams are of her
as I open her I wake
my hands holding spam
6649.
her blue shroud removed
her soft pink texture revealed
my tongue meeting hers
6662.
two blue can of spam
one lay on top other one
what da heck they do!
6793.
Barbie has no crotch
Lacking genitalia,
Ken can only watch
6794.
Plastic surgeon grafts
with SPAM: Ken's newest hobby--
Wham, bam, thank you SPAM!
6963.
slice it paper thin:
her white virgin breast heaves for
this wafer of love
6996.
i make love to spam
it has just the right texture
and can't get pregnant
7030.
Forgive me father
A sin made grisly pink flesh
The SPAM speaks of sex
7038.
No K-Y Today
Must find a substitute soon
SPAM in the cellar....
7040.
She declared strongly,
"SPAM is a contraceptive!"
I ran away fast.
7073.
I use SPAM in bed
Spams the shaft and doorknob's head
My SPAM's name is Fred
7075.
After the movie
Took my love to my abode...
Got me a SPAM-job
7086.
Just read a SPAMku
About "night worker's semen."
How sick can you get?
7095.
World War Two London:
Yanks with silk stockings get laid;
Yanks with SPAM get slap.
7102.
punch hole in the can
pump my meat into my hand
hot spam erection
7121.
SPAM: great birth control
Makes lovers bellies so large
Genitals won't touch
7164.
I'm alone and sad
I could use some love tonight
My thoughts turn to SPAM
7175.
Dressed in blue but pink
All over when it comes out:
Transsexual SPAM.
7201.
Get into the pink
For low-priced debauchery
Fall in love with SPAM
7226.
Mae West asks, winking:
"In your pocket--a cigar?
Or is that your SPAM?"
7285.
Hormel adds salt to
SPAM "for firmness." Mmm... Perhaps
I'll give that a try...
7289.
I am The Spamman
I put SPAM in my boxers
Oh, erotic SPAM
7295.
On the movie screen
The meat removes its clothing
SPAM pornography
7329.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Repeat SPAM meat abuser
Caught with his pants down
7346.
cold, gelatinous
a perfect cube of pink goo
good for kinky sex!
7412.
Woke up next to SPAM
We had wild sex the last night
SPAM kisses my neck
7529.
So many SPAMku
suggestive of sex. Latent
Hormel-sexuals.
7537.
SPAM is always good.
Though you hate it you like it--
kind of like bad sex.
7550.
Grinning cheerfully,
She asked me for the real meat.
I put SPAM in her.
7559.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Makes wife of prison cell mate
Not as good as SPAM
7569.
These SPAM sex acts: are
They bestiality or
Necrophilia?
7570.
These SPAM sex acts: could
They be described as merely
A poke in a pig?
7665.
SPAM, I love your feel,
As you slide down my boxers;
I am now a man.
7666.
Horny about SPAM
Erection comes so quickly
Add own hot white sauce.
7731.
Planet overrun
Beings who use SPAM for sex
Monkey Spanking Boys
7766.
spam you suck my cock
while i'm jacking off at night
and you swallow too!!!
7769.
FUCK ME! SPAM! FUCK ME!
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU FUCK ME!
FUCK ME! SPAM! FUCK ME!
7786.
My large purple meat
Spreading your smooth, pink, sweetness
SPAM, you are my queen
7799.
Cheeks of SPAM are like
Virgin's inexperience
No satisfaction
7809.
SPAM is good to me
I love you SPAM I love you
SPAM let's fuck tonight!!!!
7853.
Why is it that when
I think of sex, I picture
tasty, soft, pink bliss?
7854.
My first orgasm was...
wild sex on bed of SPAM! Is
this site R-rated??
7865.
Freakshow, wet and pink
I need sexual healing
Freakshow, wet and pink
7880.
Make a SPAM dildo
Shove it up your ass you whore
Suck a dead pig's cock
7881.
Necrobestial--
SPAM lust gave me leprosy
Now I am SPAM too
7882.
Fist fucking SPAM chunks
Sodomy with cold SPILDO
Putrid pig blowjob
7903.
I do dirty things
to pink meat from can. Oh yeah,
gotta love the SPAM!
7908.
I like big tits and
I cannot lie SPAM you got
big juicy titties.
7910.
We are going back
to SPAM to SPAM to SPAM to
eat your big pussy!!!!
7910.
We are going back
to SPAM to SPAM to SPAM to
eat your big pussy!!!!
7920.
Once I saw my dad
he was having sex, some man
Then I fucked some SPAM
7925.
I'm going loopy
First I ate my own sister
Now I'm eating.....SPAM!!!!!!
7944.
During an orgasm
You could hear Marv Albert scream
"Yes! SPAM me! Yes! YES!!
7974.
Auto-erotic
Greasy pink meat slides inside
SPAM(TM) or my boyfriend?
8066.
SPAM formed by pressure
Supplement your skills for her
Hard as fucking hell!
8078.
SPAM is quite sexy
It looks great in a pink dress
Marry me now, SPAM
8079.
we'll rendezvous spam
meet me at the motel 6
it'll be a blast!
8108.
Crystal likes the SPAM
Carl will dip his SPAM tonight
A Joey results
8110.
Young college students
Having no sex without death--
Opening to SPAM
8129.
Succulent pink flesh
Heaving cube of womanhood
Really need a date
8133.
Is SPAM great to fuck?
Pink, shiny, squishy, and moist.
Our answer is: yes.
8161.
Like a fake orgasm
When friends serve SPAM for dinner
I fake enjoyment
8164.
jelly-topped wonder
slithering out of its can
onto her firm breasts
8230.
Things I cannot change
Pound my SPAM on a brick wall
Impotent victim
8255.
debauch or divine?
gross or erotic? oh, SPAM,
smear some more on me.
8267.
Do you want my SPAM?
Cover me in your pink meat
Lick my member clean
8271.
I can't sleep, can't eat
My nipples are hard for you
My love is my SPAM
8322.
Wham bam thank you SPAM!
It's a hilarious joke
Play it again Sam
8330.
my spam is in heat
yowling like an alley cat
wanting a good fork
8333.
Originally
SPAM was intended to be
a sex lubricant