THE SEVEN BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:


    Chain Letter Type 1:   (scroll down)










    Make a wish!!!









    Really, go on and make one!!!









    Oh please.... he/she will never go out with you!!!










    Wish something else!!!










    Not that, you moron!!!










    Something else!  Quick!!!











    Is your finger getting tired yet?











    STOP!!!!

    Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish.

    Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if
you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be
attacked by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of
garbage. It's true! Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those
fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!

    Really!!! Here's how it goes:


    * Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
    * Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
    * 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
    * 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.
    * 20 to 674, 951 people: 20 to 674, 951  people will be mad at you 
for sending them a stupid chain letter.

    Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!



                Chain Letter Type 2

    Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.

    You see, there is a starving little boy in baklaliviatatlaglooshen
who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's
life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will
be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from the
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of counting letters
sent and this is all bull.  So go on, reach out.
    Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.

    Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people,
you will die instantly.  Thanks again!!

             Chain Letter Type 3

    Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as
many little 8 year olds writing chain letters.
    So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

                Stupid Horror Story #1

    Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack
in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a
flood of sewerage, and went flying out over a waterfall.
Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

                Stupid Horror Story #2

    Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his girlfriend.
They both died. Their families were so upset that everyone related to them
(even by marriage) went crazy and spent the rest of
their miserable lives in an institution. This Could Happen To You!!!

                 Chain Letter Type 4:

    This e-mail is wicked-cool!  It was started by Microsoft to test its
e-mail tracking system because, you know, a big high-tech company like
Microsoft always sends important new software out over the internet to be
available to any moron who can operate a computer, right?  Plus, they have
formed a secret merger with Disney Corp., who has agreed to give up
millions of dollars in revenue by giving everyone who reads this e-mail,
passes it on, looks at it, knows someone that looked at it, or is related
to someone who is a friend of someone who looks at it A FREE,
ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or EuroDisney! So pass
this on to everyone you know that is gullible enough to believe this (or
not)!  Even if it's not true, hey - insulting all of your friends by
implying that they are gullible by sending this to them is worth the
improbable chance that you could go to Disneyland! Even if you lose all of
your friends because they are tired of receiving this kind of junk from
you, it's worth the chance, right? And just for good measure, if you don't
send this on, Microsoft will send its specially trained attack-goats to
pilfer your house and eat all of your family, SO SEND IT ON!!!!!

                Chain Letter Type 5:


    Here is a cute picture I drew.


        (\          /)
        ( \        / )
        (  \      /  )
         (   /<>\   )
          ( / \/ \ )
           /      \        __
          (        )      (  )
           ~~~~~~~~


    It is a decapitated angel.  Send it on to all of your friends so it
will brighten their day like it did yours!  If you don't, possessed goats
will move into your house and eat all of your socks, leading you to believe
that something is wrong with your washing machine because all of your socks
keep disappearing.  
    Have a nice day!!!

    There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the seven main types of
chain letters, on to the ironic part. In order for this to get any
popularity, send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't
bother, but otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!!

    If you don't, I don't care, but why not show this around? Take two
minutes and forward it.  Thanks!

    Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore
it. If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make
people feel guilty (i.e. the goatless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or
nervous (i.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of sewerage)
just delete it.

    Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say, "DEATH
TO CHAIN LETTERS!!"

:-)  :-)  :-)  :-)  :-)  :-)