10. The speaker who begins the talk by saying "I'm going to wing it."

9. The speakers are ignoring the poor guy who is the timer.

8. The Keynote address is titled "Keynote" (AND the keynote had nothing to do with the purpose of the conference!)

7. You see the next presenter leafing through a file provided by the

presenter that wasn't able to show up - the presenter begins by saying they don't know what they are taking about. (Gee, I'm glad I got up early to hear this)

6. The speaker concludes his talk with "I've run out of slides so it must

be over." (yeah, it was over long time ago)

5. You have no idea WHY to believe this person because no introduction was provided--what is their background that qualifies them to take up our time?

4. The AUDIENCE is prepared: they have their notebook computers on or knitting out. Obviously they've heard this speaker before.

3. The speaker says "in conclusion" FIVE times!! Can you imagine the

audience disappointment the first four times this doesn't happen?! Quit

teasing us!!

2. The speaker says that they will entertain questions on "any topic."

That's damn nice of them, since they were speaking on "any topic."!!

1. The speaker who Didn't Get to the Damn Point concludes their

speech with "Am I going to get the hook?" (answer: yes you are!!)