Date: Sat, 21 Mar 1998 11:05:30 -0000 From: Caree Ruch Subject: FILL: INTRO Hi! Just wanted to introduce myself to the group and tell you a little about myself. Basically I am a frustrated writer too young to actually give up on my dream and too old to do anything about it (one tends to be more pragmatic once they've passed the landmark BIG 4-0). But hey, I can still dream right? So I will go on thinking someday I'll have that first story published and probably die a miserable, retched old woman full of regret and longing. Ah, but I wax poetic (whatever) and stray from my original subject line. Sorry, the tendency to stray remains a writer's best asset and worst enemy depending on the situation, am I right? I have kept a journal, written stories on scraps of paper, jotted notes on matchbook covers and outlined plots, sub-plots and characters since the tender age of twelve. The only thing I ever wanted to be was a writer---and not just a writer another Agatha or Hitchcock. Ah, but as one ages dreams die and life happens. Seven years ago I was struck down by a grand-mal seizure and diagnosed with epilepsy (treatable but sadly not curable) and have since lost all illusions of become a world famous author. At this point in time I would be content to make the world aware of this disease and the people who suffer from it (like myself) who are the same wonderful people we were before we started having seizures; we just have an affliction that prevents us from doing certain things. I have resigned myself to an existence of drugs and doctors, disease and misunderstanding, and yes even a touch of self-pity (forgive me please for I'm only human and self pity is an emotion one takes on when one's life has been swept out from under them). I am now learning to live with the stigma attached to epilepsy and working to educate those who don't know any better, those whose ignorance is not bliss, and those who intent is to hurt and/or malign. I apologize for taking up so much time. thank you for allowing me to introduce myself and any questions, comments, or retaliations can be addressed to me directly at careermom@msn.com But beware, I wear my feelings on my sleeve and have a tendency to respond defensively when attacked by the insensitive, callous people of this world. I remain eternally hopeful, mizmarple