From: "Deezer Brown" Subject: SUB: BIO: Deezer Brown, the Smallest Dude in Town Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 18:47:07 PDT Yo, this is Deezer Brown comin at ya. I am 30, of very mixed "heritage" and a writer since I was about 4. I taught myself to read then and learned to write all over my momma's nursing school books with my crayons. My street name is what I put in my bio Subject because I am the shortest dude in my family. My three younger brothers are all over 6'5" and I am not quite 5'11" but just as big as all my other brothers in every dimension. All my bros call me Caveman because I look much bigger and stronger than my taller, younger bros. Our two sisters both are almost six feet tall. This gives me a complex since before I was able to hotwire my first vehicle. I am shy and never got any hugging and kissing until after my baby sisters got into high school and started siccing their girlfriends on their midget bro. Other than having a bad attitude about Chicanos and other Hispanics, Momma is kind of a stereotypic mom and she still tries to take care of me to this day. It don't matter that I've been the man all these years. My dad, Jose Gilberto Martinez-Silva died in a drive-by accident when momma's baby boy,Felix, was one month old. Most of us are still pretty pissed and angry that he's not around. But we put that all in the hands of Da Real MAN, and keep on down the Road. I got a GED in the Detention Center, which is where I learned to type and do stuff like all the minor illegalities. But I ain't ever ever broke the 11th Commandment. And nobody in my family has ever been in jail once except for me. They let me out pretty quick when they learned that I was not the unidentified bad guy "of mixed racial heritage" that John Law was looking for. I did not get raped or anything behind bars, but I did accidently break some Hippie dude's leg to get him off my back. Just those Caveman reflexes that my giant brothers all say I got. So I don't have any bad attitudes at society and power structures. Except for why does only the rich and snotty get the easy jobs. Which brings me around to why I signed up. Your FAQ kicked my butt bigtime when I stumbled on it. Like I felt, "Shit, man, this is for the Caveman." Because of my dreds, some street punks call me "DeezerDoper," but they usually shut up when they see the anger and wildness in my eyes. I have never smoked a joint, a cigarette, or a rock in my whole life and I never will. I ain't an angry young man no more, but am probably still just an angry man. That and my mouth have always gotten me out of everything physical. Except at home. The only fights I have ever had were with my bros, and they first jumped on me together when I was 11 and bloodied my nose and punctured my pride. Ever since it has always been "who's da man" in our home. I always retaliate by calling my bros "basketball brats." Every single one of us has an unspoken vow to always care for the younger ones, no matter what happens. Maybe that's our family strength. Momma has worked two jobs since I can remember. Except for my four or five times in DC, I have been a model citizen because I had to work to help bring in $$. At least a couple bucks, and the honest dollar is all my momma has ever asked for any of us to bring home. My GED came about only when a pristine white sister working in DC discovered I had an oversized IQ too. The family just calls me their "bullshit artist" or "jive jockey." My writing has given me sporadic A+ marks in schools whenever I attended for "creative writing." But I never write about anything besides what I see going on around me. My favorite writers are James Baldwin, Phillip Wylie, and Jimi Hendrix, but not in that order. I am in love with Natalie Cole and would like to be Oprah Winfrey's dog. Howard Stern could be a real friend of mine any day because he treats everyone fairly. Momma is a Home Health Care nurse here in south LA, and she worked for a couple of rehab hospitals in the Watts area. She calls me "genius" and is for sure I will be richer than J.Cochran some day. Hey, I believe it to. So time to get back to writing those diaries. One other note. That FAQ makes your listowner look like some genius king nerd or something. Either that or he's been working on that FAQ for years. If you believe in vibes, then this guy Think..uh...Tink (he should be called DeepThink) really puts out some good ones. That's all there is, folks. Deever Brown ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com