Date:         Sun, 5 Oct 1997 09:13:54 -0400
From: "....ed" <fourniered@NEMAINE.COM>
Subject:      Are you there?

You there?
         i'm all fuzzy with this. i have found some of the pieces but
can't seem to make it take shape into something i understand.
        It started with a smell, pleasant at first. It made me wonder
after it: you know, like the smell when the field is cut or when
something is done and set on the counter to cool, what is that smell?
Closing my eyes to it, trying to place it, i tried to bring it around
the corner, but couldn't.
        Then the headache rushed on me with ice cream pallor
quickness.  Sharp, pulsation just above my eyes, stabbing precedence
as i dropped everything to hold my hands tight on my forehead. It hurt
like lightning between my frontal lobe and my eyebrows, ricocheting on
every ridge. The pleasant smell became taste, overwhelming and
physical, fingers walking down my throat, suffocating, a charge
exploded inside my head, and without intention, i fell asleep.
        i dreamt of last Thursday, late for my presentation and the
elevator bro ke again. Running down the stairs and what smelled of
apple pie and Thanksgiving on my level turned against me the next
flight down with the overpowering mixture of garlic, thick oil, and of
apartments cooking democracy, stirred in the air of the stairwell, and
scorched by a tenant on the fifth floor, who always leaves something
on the stove too long, and makes you just have to gag!
        i am awake now. Something is wrong. i am here and aware but i
feel like the last person alive. i called the dog but she does not
come. There is no traffic outside. The sidewalk does not scream of
city and broken glass.  Sometime ago while in camp, somewhere between
wet dreams and reveille, my sleep and i became friends. Today it is
not so. i have gone over it and over it. The smell reminiscent of hay
or fresh bread is gone and this place stinks of must and upset
stomach. Either you or i are dead, i am sure of it. i phone but there
are no answers.
        You are my hope.  i need to know that we are both here and
that i am not alone in a moment which has out lived its end.  If you
exist, hurry, i need to know ....ed


        if it wasn't for broken bottles, we wouldn't have beach glass!