Date: Thu, 9 Oct 1997 14:20:31 -0700 From: kate Subject: FILL: INTRO.....and request for advice Hello. I found this list a couple days ago when I was on the hunt for some "HELP!" because I have an urgent need for the same (but I'll get to that later.) First I'll introduce myself. My name is Kate, former Nebraskan now living in the most beautiful of Cities - Seattle. I belong to over a dozen email lists - mostly dealing with genealogy - but I don't participate much. I've always been best as a lurker.....I'm a people watcher, not much of a conversationalist; I'm a learner, not much of a teacher; I'm a writer, not much of a talker -- and strangely, my writing has always been sort of a personal, private thing for me.....kind of like going to the bathroom -- it's relieving but not something I feel comfortable about making public! :-) Therefore, I know already that I'm going to have a very difficult time submitting, critiquing (sp?), and conversing here......BUT I promise to put forth every effort to carry my share of the weight if you will all be so kind as to allow me into your little "society." Another thing about my writing is that for quite some time, it has been more of a luxury for me than a constant activity because my days and responsibilities don't allow time for it.....although I may have found the project that I'm passionate enough about to get writing regularly again now. I run a small coffee shop seven days a week from dawn til dusk (or later depending on whether or not it's daylight savings time.) That means lots and lots of little interruptions all day long - no moments for silent concentration. Between all those "espresso moments" - making lattes and mochas, I'm raising and homeschooling three little boys - the youngest of my five sons. I'm a single mom and proud of it! (A little bitter sarcasm here also, I suppose.) Soooo trying to write can be so frustrating!! that I find it less stressful to just surf the net or play some no-brainer computer game and be open for every little interruption that comes my way. At least that way I can greet my customers with a smile instead of reacting to them with fiery eyes and a "what the hell do YOU want?!!" I'm planning to win the lotto soon so that I can spend the rest of my days being creative and dispensing onto paper all the volumes that are clogging up my brain! :-) Until then I have a basketball team to feed and care for so I'm stuck in the old "grind" so to speak! And speaking of basketball, that brings me to my problem...... Here's a little background...... I have a customer who has been coming for coffee fairly regularly for a month or so. He slips quietly in, orders his "grande mocha with no whip" waits patiently for me to prepare it, pays the two dollars and sixty cents, stuffs a dollar bill in my tip jar, politely thanks me and goes quietly out again. He's a very handsome and very TALL black man with a quiet demeanor. Usually I'm friendly with my customers, asking them if they live in the neighborhood, what they do for a living, do they have kids, etc., etc. Usually the questions lead to simple answers at first and then to more detailed conversations over the course of sparadic (sp?) visits. With him, I felt that a question or two would be like prying. It seemed like he had secrets that I dare not try to discover. I mean he was kind enough and smiled a little but he had his squarish jaw set tight and just gave me a strange feeling that he preferred to remain anonymous. After all, what people do, who they are, is really none of my business and my way of "just being friendly" might seem to some like my way of being very nosey. I don't think that's the opinion of most of my customers but there are some who are obviously annoyed and give some vague, mumbly, kirt reply. With those people, I respect that. I don't say anything more than necessary and leave them alone with their secrets. My "tall dark stranger" came for coffee a few days ago and one of my regulars who spends all her free time taking up mine was here. When he walked through the door, she, who was sitting on a chair against the wall, looked at him from his feet to his head and blurted out, "WOW! You're tall!" (Duh, lady, I thought as I cringed.) She went on, "You could play basketball! Do you ever play basketball?" In a groaning sigh, he said, "yes." "Just goofing around with it?" she continued. "No, I play for the Sonics," he said in a very quiet matter-of-fact sort of way. She jumped off her chair and screamed, "I knew it, I KNEW it!!" While this was going on, I was hurrying to finish his drink so he could escape. My jaw hurt from clenching my teeth trying desparately to send her a telepathic "SHUT UP!" and to him my most humble apologies! I FINALLY got that damn mocha finished to my usual perfection and handed it to him with the sincerest apologetic look I could muster. He gave me a five and told me to keep the change. I smiled and said thank you and silently begged him to come back soon. At that time I was struck with the fear and devastation of losing a customer. He quietly walked out the door. After pondering the incident and the silent stranger, I took to the internet on a mission to find out more about him. His stats were easily accessible and they show him to be an outstanding ball player. But there's not much about HIM - the human-being, humble, quiet guy. So then I thought I need to write a biography about him. Yea that's what I HAVE to do. And here lies my dilema.... I fought with myself over how to approach him. WHEN to approach him.....and what if he doesn't come back? I wasn't sure even WHETHER I should approach him. Maybe I should just let it die right there and forget such a preposterous notion. After all, I've never had more than a few poems and a short story or so PUBLISHED. I've always only written poetry and fiction (mostly stories for my kids) and the "scope and sequence" papers for our homeschooling requirements. How the heck does one write biography?? About a living person, no less? And who do I think I am for supposing that I (little ol' nobody ME!) could be granted the privilege of writing about a FAMOUS sports star????? I called my old (well she's not OLD old) college writing professor and asked her opinion. She said GO FOR IT! I argued, "but I don't have any published material under my belt....nothing to speak of." She said, "but you are a WRITER and a very good one. You WRITE that story!" "But what do I say to him?" "Say, 'I'm a writer and I would like to write your biography.'" "Well, do you really think I should?" "Of course you should! You MUST. There's no way out of writing it now unless he says 'no' and lets you off the hook!" "Okaayay....I suppose you're right." He came in yesterday. He ordered his usual and sat on the chair against the wall. My hands were shaking as I packed the coffee into the "portafilter." I began aruguing with myself.....thoughts jetting through my head, ..... well he came back, that's a good sign.....probably means he'll be back again another time or two.....ask him then, when you're more prepared.....no ask him now, what if it's your last opportunity.....no I don't want to hit him with that on his first visit since the "incident".....you MUST!....he may say no and let you off the hook..... I glanced over at him and caught him watching me. He smiled, "How are you today?" "I'm good, how are you?" "Good." "Uh....., uhh.....," I swallowed hard, "I have a question for you." (That came out as more of a question than a statement.) His eyes flashed a little and I thought I saw a bit of dread on his face. He said, "oh?" He was probably expecting me to ask for his autograph or for him to shake my kids' hands or something. I said, "I'm a writer and I would like to write your biography." He started laughing!!!! He was laughing. I started laughing. He said, "THAT'S a new one! You want to write my biography." Strangely, his laughing eased my tension a little. I thought whell, that wasn't so bad. Then I told him I didn't need an answer right away. "You can think about it awhile, if you like." (Why did I say that?) He stopped laughing and sat quietly waiting for me to finish his drink and get it rung up on the register. I didn't expect more to come of it at that time. But when I handed him his drink, he said, "Well, do you have anything here that you've written?" Oh boy.....that was a _damn_ good question. He really WAS thinking about it! And no, I didn't have anything I could show him. Oh god, what was I to say now???? I explained, (not too well, I'm sure) that when I moved from Nebraska about four years ago, I put everything into storage there and I haven't done much writing since. That's the truth but somehow it sounded like an excuse and thinking about it now, I wonder if he's thinking I'm just a nobody who came up with a devious scheme to try to make some money off of him. I wonder if he wonders if I've ever written ANYTHING in my life! I wonder if he thinks I would be someone who might butcher his whole past and present it to the public in all it's bruised and bloody state? So now what? Now I'm back where I was.......wondering if he'll come back, and wondering what he'll have to say if he does return. What must he be thinking? As I wait to see if he returns, I want to find some answers. So now I turn to you.....I hope that you are not worn and weary after my long, long story? First of all, I know that I should find an interested publisher (and/or an agent) - is that what you were thinking? .......but, here I go again.....I don't WANT to. Not just yet. I don't have any writing samples to offer and I don't know enough about my guy to know exactly where I want the story to go.....other than the fact that I want to bring out the _person_ that he is and not just the great basketball things he's done. Secondly, I'm more interested in the story - writing a GREAT one - more than I am in having it published. I think that if it's a great story, well written and true, it WILL get published. Of course that's merely MY opinion (maybe my own little pipedream?) and what, really, do I know about it. I do welcome your input - REALLY. Next, as for the legal stuff. How does it work? I mean when it's published, he and I will split the payment or royalties right? But how does that work? And what if he asks me about that? I haven't been able to find much information about the craft of writing biography and have been unable to find ANYTHING about how the contractual/publishing matters are handled. Can someone tell me some good sources to go to for these answers? What might I be getting myself into THIS time (I can hear my mother's voice nagging me with that one.) :-) Well, I guess I've said more than enough. (How's that for one weird intro?) I will go now.....back to my little world of espresso and lurking. :-) PLease! If you have any thoughts.....ANY thoughts let me know. I would appreciate them with all my heart. Thanks so much! And have a wonderful day. Kate P.S. I really CAN take criticism.....my English professor taught me well! Now, years later, she's one of my dearest friends. And believe it or not, I may even follow your advice. :-) PSS How does a biography end when the person's story is still going on?