Date:         Thu, 18 Dec 1997 12:51:18 -0500
From: Catherine Berchtold <bercht@PIPELINE.COM>
Subject:      INT: The EmJay Awards - Part 1

"Daisy, what in the world are you wearing?!"  MJ exploded.

"My black, backless, sensual dress.  I is turnin' over a new leaf."

"Well,.... That's fine but why are you wearing your Nike Airs?"

Daisy rolled eyes at the silly question.  "I'm gonna be a standin' fir
good spell.  If I wuz ta wear them pointy toed shoes, my feet would a
done been killin' me 'fore I got ta the stage.  'Sides, I don't like
them pantyhose thingies.  They tend ta cut my intestines in half."
Daisy grinned.  "Looky here."  She throw'd her leg up high inna air.
"I took a straight edge ta my legs."

"For goodness sakes, get your leg down!  People can see up your
dress."

Jist then, Daisy done heard some gigglin' comin' from a dark corner
inna the room.  A bunch a little squinty eyes peered at her.  "You
jist shut up, you bunch ol' lurkers!"

Daisy's gym shoe gave a squeak as she spun around and headed fir the
stage.  She didn't make it very far, cuz MJ done grabbed her arm.

"Oh my gosh!  You're not supposed to wear a REGULAR bra with a
backless dress."

"Honey chile, you is so silly."  Daisy smiled and patted MJ's arm.
"My mama done warned me not ta shop at them outlet malls where they
sell irregular under clothes.  They is made funny and sometimes ya
might git one what has a cup bigger than the other.  Then what are ya
gonna do?"

MJ sighed.  "Oh, forget it.  You better go ahead and announce the
EmJay Award winners."

Daisy smiled at MJ jist like she would a done a chile.  "You is right,
honey.  Grab yourself a seat rat up front sos you can help me if I be
needin' it."


***drum roll*****





**********************************
Problem    :  Tummy Troubles
Symptoms :  Spitting up hairballs the size
                   of a cow
Cause        :  Self-bathing with tongue
Fix            :  Get bathed by a friend

-- Opus N' Bill's Life Repair Manual
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