Date: Tue, 19 Nov 1996 11:24:29 EST From: just tink Subject: INT:EmJay Awards: The Ballot -Date: Mon, 18 Nov 1996 23:39:30 -0500 [oh, shoot. Mary Jane tells me this wasn't a short essay test... oh, well, I suppose I should read the directions more carefully, but it sure looked like a short answer quiz to me...so I answered them. and that's the truth. *giggle* tink;-] ************* THE BALLOT ************** The 1996 EmJay Awards Categories: > > > Best Contest Organizer I prefer to keep my contests in a large pile. I tried those organizers and frankly, they are just too confining. I mean, your contests need some light and air, otherwise they get moldy. > > > Best Critiquer time. coming in second place has to be "reading aloud", but I think time wins in the end. > > > Best Flame Douser seltzer. I've tried baking powder, firehoses, the odd lightening bolt and so on, but a good bottle of seltzer works wonders. a bent twig may be good enough for psychics, but clowns swear by seltzer. > > > Best Flamer high temperatures. oxygen is necessary, plus some kindling, but it's when the rubbing gets frantic and the temperature just keeps on rising, that's when you get those nasty little flames. > > > Best Interactive Character the universe. it isn't me, so it's a real character, and it is certainly interactive (watch it sway! watch it jump! and watch it poke me in the I!) > > > Best Interactive Story the neverending tale of thee and I, a love tale down the ages, a romance that always returns like the phoenix, a wonder forever... > > > Best List Pair (this could mean almost anything!) well, mr. snake, I think I'll pass on that pair. I've heard a rumor about you and that Eve lady...you ganged up on Adam and put the poor guy in leaves, didn't you? Got him all hot and bothered, got them kicked out of their Eden, and you think you are going to convince me to draw to a pair? luscious curvy green fruit, dripping wet with desire, ready for someone to bite into? I fold. > > > Best Signature File short, sweet, and regularly changed. a bit like underwear, eh? > > > Best Writing Exercises abcdefghijklmnop... you put your first word down, and you shake it all around. you put your second word down, and you spin it all around. that's how you start to play... 1. write 2. finish what you write (can I swedish mine instead? something is written in denmark?) 3. submit it 4. keep on going > > > Favorite Essayist(s) I say, S is a little bit neurotic, don't you think? S may talk, but I'd put my money in the bank and say "Can You See?". That's all favo wrote for now... > > > Favorite Poet(s) Edgar Allan Poe is pretty good. Although the rhythm of unheard speaking often cracks me up, echoing the rhymes and meters of our daily words... > > > Favorite Short Story Writer(s) Who wrote that one? You know, the one that starts out, "Once upon a time..." and ends up "They lived happily ever after"? That's my favorite... > > > List Conservative The List Conservative, ready to cross commentary with the Proservative? All dipped in formal De Hyde, the preservative that makes your loved ones last? or at least linger longer? Can I get one of those nice little bottles of conservative to spread on my morning toast? A little butter, a dab of conservative, and a good cold glass of fruit juice (squeeze a liberal, and what do you get?) > > > List Curmudgeon ah! the dog mudg eon. probably a pekinese, with those big popping eyes winking and blinking in excitement, dancing on its own hair, with the front legs pawing the air, begging for attention. The mudg (goes with muda, mudb, mudc...mudg is the bottom of the pit, as dark as the missississipppi river bottom) is a hint at the color, or the lack of it. And an eon is almost as long as these jokes take. So the cur mudg eon is the time of the black haired dog (don't forget to take him for a walk before you go to sleep, okay?) > > > List Daddy Oh, daddy, that's so hip. like wow, daddy, really wow. > > > List Flirt to court a person playfully or without serious intention... now there's a fine thing, asking me to judge the seriousness of your intentions without giving me a pickaxe and some dynamite to open up your skull for peeking in at how the gears are grinding and smoking in there. actually, the process is much simpler in the modern age, when I can use an ion trap, then carefully measure your emissions to determine whether they are serious in tent or out of tent. I have to be a bit cautious not to tickle their little toes in the process, else they will laugh and become hysterions, hissing and staring at everyone... > > > List "Gandalf" or Sage I think I prefer Cinnamon. Sage is nice, and a good snort of gandalf makes you feel like a new wizard (or at least a change of colors), but cinnamon sticks. > > > List Kid all kidding aside? > > > List Liberal we already squeezed a liberal, and came up with fruit juice to go with our conservatives on toast, didn't we? > > > List Mommie Mommie! > > > List Sicko yes, we have no sickos, we have no sickos today. we've weirdies, and oddballs, and plenty of goofballs, but... yes, we have no sickos, we have no sickos today. > > > Most Agreeable Dgreeable? Whose got the sheepskins? A greeable? probably depends on whether they like gree or not. I mean, if your going to get the stuff all over yourself and wallow in it, you really have to like it, don't you? So let's get a bucket of gree and pass it out, then see who sticks around and digs in. > > > Most Intellectual Today's intel lectual will be delivered by...well, can I help it? I bent the little word back and forth, and it snapped on the ll, so here I am holding intel and lectual (with a bit of a sharp edge where it snapped, so be careful). Anyway, the lectual is being delivered by a chip off the old block, so beware the ideas of pentium... > > > Most Likely to be Published words. I've tried again and again with spaces, and while every publisher is happy to include them in whatever work they are doing, they just don't pay enough for nothing. So I'm recommending words now, words later, words anytime and everywhere, words ringing and singing and running wild... > > > Most Likely to be Seen at an Open-Mike Reading that's easy. Mike's intestines and guts. This duodenal shows you will meet a tall, dark stranger. The appendix goes on to show you shouldn't have bothered buying Christmas presents for us, we don't deserve it. > > > Most Mysterious tomorrow! and it's coming now! > > > Most Outspoken > > > Most Personalities > > > Most Persuasive > > > Most Political > > > Most Postings > > > Most Romantic > > > Most Sensual > > > Most Serious > > > Most Surprising > > > Oldest on List (either chronologically or behaviorally) > > > Peanut Gallery (the funniest jokesters & pranksters on list!) > > > The Soul of the List > > > Who Wouldn't You Kick Out of Bed? > > > Who Would You Most Likely Let Babysit Your Kids? > > > Who Would You Least Likely Let Babysit Your Kids? and with the midnight deadline creeping up fast behind me (actually, it is staring me in the face, right there in the corner of the terminal, but the "cliche" position for such items is creeping up behind for maximum terror)... The Most Outspoken, Persuasive, Political, Romantic, Sensual, Serious, Surprising, etc. person on the list with the Most Personalities and Most Postings, who is both the oldest on List (either chronologically or behaviorally) and Youngest!, who inhabits the best Peanut Gallery (the funniest jokesters & pranksters on list!), Who You Wouldn't Kick Out of Bed (even if they do forget to put the lid somewhere?), yes, the very Soul of the List... is you. > > > Best All-Around List Member you. and you. and you, and you, and you! This list is your list, this list is my list, from the redword postings to the yankee gruntings, from the north wind sighing to the south lands frying, this list was made by you and me... So write now and write soon, just write tink ------- End of Forwarded Message