Date: Sat, 16 Nov 1996 21:50:01 +0800 From: Wolfess Elle Subject: INT: The Veranda - More with Mr. ? and Woof picks her scattered bits up from all over The Wolfess picks herself up with a loud grunt and a few of the famous Tasmanian curses. "Bleedin' bunyip biceps!!..I has been dragged all over the place while I thot I was sleeping..no wunda I feel like a limp dishrag..prolly look like one too..now..I gotta go over to that Verandy place and pinch the teleporter...." The Wolfess staggers off and presently arrives at the Verandah...she hears screams and shrieks and loud thumpings coming from inside the house. Pausing in her quest to borrow the transporter fer an emergency flight, she peeks through the window. "Will yer look at that!!..Looks like one of them classic bar room balls in them Western movies..reckon one of them will fly out the window in a minnit..and wot's that fella doin all tied up wid a silly grin on his face, fer?.." Shakin her head at these weird Amercans she retreats before she becomes an arrestor bed for an airborne female and enters the teleporter. She attempts to start it without success. "Wouldn't yer jes know it?!! Bloody thing is buggered..cripes!!..Hmm....lemme see here...looks like some idjit has twisted the conjorber switch on too hard in the opposite direction...bloody silly Amercans..allus getting clockwise and anticlockwise mixed up..jes like their drains..looks like I will have to use me superior technical skills to fix this..." Lifting one hind leg, she boots the switch hard with one steel capped boot. There is a whirr of power and the teleporter comes to life. ............................................................................ .......................... The Wolfess exits the teleporter and looks around her. She can see Colin mumbling to himself and holding a tattered manuscript... "To tell the truth or to tell a porky..that is the question" "Wot the hell you doing here, Colin?...Everyone is at the SPT for the Awards..well..except fer some odd goings on at the Verandah" " I had some unfinished business...." "Wot yer mean?..someone disturb yer daily homage onna porcelain throne?" "No..no ..nothing like that..it is so incredible...I don't know what to do...You see this manuscript here?...Well...I think it proves that Shakespeare was an ape..well..not one ape...a lot of them...hundreds of them...How can I tell the world the truth?...it would be like telling them the shocking truth about the Dead Sea Scrolls...and you know the world is not ready for that..." "Hmmm..you bin smokin summat?..Yer ain't been drinkin one of CK's little cocktails have ya?" "Look..look..see all these typewriters..hundreds of them..scattered everywhere..doesn't it make you wonder?" "Yup..it does and I is wondering who tipped all them trash cans over ..them typewriters was left over from alla auditors we had down here to replace Cousin Larry's failed satire writers..youse knows..the ole geriatrics wot carked it..we supplied them auditors wid alla typewriters soze they would look genuine..but they didn't know how to work the things.." "Listen!!!!!...All the monkeys have disappeared and all the typewriters are scattered everywhere..don't you see???" "Look Mate, wot I see is that youse prolly had a touch of the sun..now get in this transporter soze we can get to the awards on time.." Clutching a shaken and dazed Colin, who is clutching the manuscript, the Wolfess hops into the teleporter.. > Raini and Catherine were rolling around on the floor while CK >(disguise, somehow?) was duking it out with Robyn. They all wound up in a >pile with no shortage of cursing and screeching. Some were knocked so >senseless they were apparently halucinating. > Meanwhile, the displaced transporter-repair man was mortified. He >backed into a corner and looked around, desparately for the transporter so >he could repair it and qet away from the lust-crazed women... > Someone shouted something about hairy butts and he looked at the >seat of his pants, dejectedly. How would anyone know a thing about his butt? > Then one of the women broke free and raced towards him and he ran >through the door and off into the snow - screaming at the top of his lungs. > > It took the women an hour to hunt him down and drag him - hog-tied, >back to the Veranda. Once they were sure he was secured they returned to >their fight. >_____________________________ >Chris Vaughan space.cowboy@worldnet.att.net > > ------------------------------------------------------------------- Sooper Woofie The Lupine Libido Wotch out!! http://www.iinet.net.au/~pearson/ -------------------------------------------------------------------