Date:         Wed, 25 Nov 1998 19:21:42 -0500
From: Gene Chambers <billsboy@MEDIAONE.NET>
Subject:      [WRITERS] Gene for LIST CURMUDGEON

Reasons why I already *AM* List Curmudgeon?  So you might as well vote for
me, since you will be betting on a sure thing:

Not because the reigning List Curmudgeon, Doctor Bill, is no longer
subscribed to the list, but because his Lady Love, the beauteous Mary Jane
has also gone, and that catastrophe is a continuing source of my (BAH!
HUMBUG!) grumpiness.

And, not because I can't understand cate meredith's prose, but because I
don't even *WANT* to anymore.

Not because I *DO* understand everything Judy Ray posts, but because I
bemusedly wonder if *SHE* does.

Not because BOTH Anthonys (D and T) always seem able to cut right to the
heart of a matter, but because *I* cannot.

Not because I usually agree with Paul Frankenstein, but because I
maliciously refuse to publicly admit it. (Ancestors shoveling shit, huh. At
least I HAD ancestors, you, pasted-together piece-by-piece, electrode-necked
excuse for a monster who probably pronounces his name Fronk-en-STEEN).

Not because Valentine Michael Smith took umbrage at something and decided to
limit his posts, thereby limiting the education of list members who avidly
read (and LEARN from) everything he writes, but because he was not really
born and raised on Mars by Martians (Kansas City, for GOD's sake!)

Not because Woofess chews me out a LOT of times, but because she doesn't
chew in the right place.

Not because so many of the most intelligent people I have ever known have
left WRITERS, but because they neglected (purposely?) to tell me where they
were going.

Not because Izzy got married, but because, no matter how wonderful the guy
might be, he AIN'T good enough for her.

Not because I chuckle at the almost unbelievable ignorance (not to mention,
arrogance) of the list's teenage (and twenty-ish) writer-hopefuls, but
because. . .  well, yes, EXACTLY because of that (the chuckle stems from a
pit of pure evil deep inside my immortal something-or-other.)

Gene for LIST CURMUDGEON!  More reasons later. . .   maybe.