>>> Item number 7903 from WRITERS LOG9302A --- (225 records) ----- <<< Date: Thu, 4 Feb 1993 11:56:15 JST Reply-To: WRITERS Sender: WRITERS From: Mike Barker Subject: FAQ: Welcome to Writers (bit longer, this time:-) matt, lisa ellis, nikki parker, and any other newcomers: This is dedicated to you. Hope you enjoy it. mike --------------------------------------------------------------- Somewhere Near The Dudley Do Write Inn, On a Dark and Stormy Night Feb. 4, 1993 (rev. 2) 1864 words Hi. You look a little lost, so let me introduce you to the place. It can be a little confusing at first. This is the WRITERS Saloon, part-time grill, and (sometimes) front for liberations (all kinds welcome). The electronic center of the saloon is WRITERS@NDSUVM1.BITNET, also called vm1.nodak.edu. Of course, the true heart is in Parsons, Iowa (ioway for the technonerdically inclined). But the bar (drinking, ballet, or judgement) stretches around the world with plenty of odd kinks and twists. The bar serves mostly stories, poetry, and some essays for your pleasure. Don't yell too much if your order's wrong, just wait and we'll get to something else pretty soon. 'Course, we all try to help when we can by serving up something we've made, or suggesting some seasoning for something on the buffet. So feel free to add your two cents and find out how much it's really worth. Do be careful of the grill, though. Sometimes the flames jump a little far when we're roasting the fat out of someone's work. Don't worry about it, no one wants to hurt you, they're just trying to help. I have to admit some of the drunks get a little bit carried away rubbing salt in, but we've got some excellent pain relief in bubbly humor or dark poetics. Right now, there's a daily special quote, and some of the folks have a weekly game of words. Watch out for the quote's daughter, she wanders in sometimes and is well worth waiting for. Ask Molly to introduce you, if you're interested. Oh, you've got a friend who's looking for work. A lot of us have friends like that, so some of the folks pin up notices over there whenever they hear about something. There's also a little library I can show you later, if you'll remind me. Ask around and someone can probably suggest something for your friend to look into, too. Aside from that, there's a fair amount of friendly talk, sometimes making it hard for your order to get through. But be patient, we will get around to you in time. If you get in a hurry, help us out. Let's see. There's lots of dark corners, and always an empty seat for another lurker. So if that's what you want to do, set down, take a sip of Scarlett's white lightning or fill your plate at Randy's smorgasbord of literate delights and relax for a while, watch the show. If you get to feeling rowdy, go ahead and take a swing. Fair warning, plenty of these folks carry loaded words, so you may find yourself looking at a shotgun blast. Some of the folks also like to dance, though, and you may get invited onto the floor. Can't tell until you try, and even then you may not be sure. By the way, if you get into a major squabble, we consider it polite if you'll move it either into one of the alcoves or outside. If you've got some really good fireworks, we might all watch for a while, but don't just keep slugging in here. Take it offline, and let us know how it comes out. What's that? Television? Be quiet, you'll start a riot. No, we don't have one, never needed one. If you want the news, listen to Mr. Smith. He keeps us in tune with the world, both in the XUSSR and his home. There's lots of other folks that'll be happy to help you with the problems of the world, too. Hey, there's Mr. Smith now. Val, you got any words for the visitor? "We're part of a 'salon' wherein we share our lives, our loves, our angers, and our words, some of us more facilely than others, some more tenderly, and some more harshly. That salon often gets bogged down in seemingly dead end channels, but occasionally it hits great heights, or demonstrates extraordinary skill. "Some of us rarely ever make public comments, some of us never judge poetry, while some of our group are quite vocal. Many of us write once or twice a week to the list, and maybe once every three months will say something that stirs a reaction, private or public. "I implore those among us who wonder 'Is this REALLY a WRITERS list?' to be patient, or offer us something they've written, or write a question that will stir debate or discussion. But, be aware, we OFTEN stray down quite odd byways! VMS" He's a great guy, he really is. Thanks, Val. Oh, hi, David. You want to add something... "I remember the days when this group used to hang out on the boardwalk, when the guys slicked their hair back and flashed stories like switchblades, and the women stood and recited poetry as the moonlight sparkled off their hair. There was a certain magic in the air, a passion, about literature, about what we all wanted to do, and about how it was going to save us. About the struggle to do something with words.... We were focused. It was all we had, and we still felt excitement about how we were going to let it ruin us...." Right. Look, thanks, David, but I'm not sure this visitor is ready for black leather lit, yet. So, we'll toddle on, now, ok? You are lucky, here comes Bruce W. Hey, Bruce, tell our visitor about the bar, and I'll get your pitcher for you. Your usual, right? "I generally stop into the bar 4 or 5 nights a week, grab a pitcher of beer (usually something dark and slightly bitter) and head for a dark corner. That first glass is always the best, so I take my time and savor it. Then I write. I quickly scan what everyone is saying, sometimes commenting, though not often. I like to spend what free time I have writing my own stories. "The old table I sit at has uneven legs. Occasionally, my beer spills over my stories and I have to look at what every one else is doing. Commenting helps me write better. But still, commenting takes time away from my own writing. "Since people seldom notice me in my little corner, I've stayed out of all but one shouting match. And when I found it was turning my beer sour, I stopped shouting, got a new pitcher of beer and continued with my own writing. "You know, I still don't know who the bartenders are in this place. Happily, some of the patrons help out when things get busy. No waitresses here. If you want a drink you have to go to the bar. That's why I buy pitchers. If I stand at the bar for very long I know I'll get in a conversation which takes me from my writing. "The bar owner isn't really around much anymore. He sticks his head in once in a while, solves a problem with the tappers, reorders the hard liquor for the shelves, and on very rare occasions he'll throw baking powder on the back grill when the flames get too high. "There are several patrons that are far too young to be drinking here, but that's only agewise. If you forget their age they seem to hold their liquor quite well. "Overall, I'm happy with the place. It's comfortable. I've stuck folded paper under the table legs to even things up. The regular cleaning lady knows why the paper's there and sweeps around it until it starts looking ratty from spilt beer and dirty scuff marks." Here's your pitcher, Bruce. And thanks for talking to our visitor. "Well, I've been at the bar too long. If you need me I'll be back in the corner right over there. But don't think me rude if I don't look up when you walk over. I'm just busy writing. Sit down and pour yourself a brew. It's some delightful stuff I found in Montana called Red Hook. I'll be with you in a moment. Now where was I? Oh yes. Beginnings are always so hard. Let's see? Hmmm. 'It was a dark and stormy night.' Now that has a nice ring to it. A person could go anywhere with an opening like that." I wish he hadn't said that, it reminds me of a story I should be working on. Look, just take your time and look around, you'll probably find something interesting. How did that go, now? "It should have been a..." That's not right. Where'd Bruce go? See you later, ok? Who am I? I run the popcorn, peanuts, and candy concession out at the east end of the bar. Got a special on bubble gum this week, if you want some. I'll help pop your bubble, too. Just call me mike. Whenever you're ready, step up to the bar or kick off your shoes and jump on the dance floor and show us your stuff. We'll be looking for it. Just remember the key - write and write and write and... To join the fun: send email to LISTSERV@NDSUVM1.BITNET (bitnet) or to listserv@vm1.nodak.edu (internet) with SUBSCRIBE WRITERS yourfirstname yourlastname in the body of the message. To run away and never hear from us anymore: send email with SIGNOFF WRITERS To take a short vacation: send email with SET WRITERS NOMAIL when you leave. Then send email with SET WRITERS MAIL when you're ready to listen again. If you want to know who's hanging out at the saloon: send email with REVIEW WRITERS in the body of the message. If you want to look at the family jewels: try INDEX WRITERS. If you wanna make it easy for us to recognize your work: put SUB: in the subject line for submissions put CRIT: in the subject line for critiques put RE: in the subject line for followups put TECH: in the subject line for techniques of writing use a plain subject line for damfool nonsense, like everyone else A short reference library on writing Gila Queen's Guide to Markets - monthly guide to submissions SF & Fantasy Workshop - 1193 So. 1900 E. Salt Lake City, UT 84108 newsletter, mail critiques, and more Scavenger's Newsletter - monthly guide to submissions Strunk and White - the little book The Writer - monthly magazine on writing Writer's Digest - monthly magazine on writing Writer's Market - hardback published by Writer's Digest listing markets Selected Vocabulary for the networks: :-) - smiley. indicates humorous content BTW - By The Way (abbrev.) chase, wild goose - see wild goose chase FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions (abbrev.) flame - along with related phrases, refers to a strong, angry message goose chase, wild - see chase, wild goose IMHO - In My Honest Opinion (abbrev.) wild goose chase - see goose chase, wild --------------------------------------------------