>>> Item number 15829 from WRITERS LOG9308A --- (127 records) ---- <<< Date: Sat, 7 Aug 1993 17:57:01 JST Reply-To: WRITERS Sender: WRITERS From: Mike Barker Subject: FAQ: Shock Treatment I'm glad I never claimed to be a medical writer. Still, maybe this'll get some hearts beating... mike ------------------------------------- Shock Treatment Mike Barker The body was still, unmoving on the table under the bright lights. The ER staff seemed to be moving twice as fast in compensation. "What have we got here, Doctor?" "OD'd. Full stop. And nothing seems to get him started again." The traces on the monitors were flat. "OK, I'll take charge now. Nurse! Yes, you. Quickly, 100 lines of Walt Whitman, right to the heart. Stet!" "Now, you. Keep those pages of Faulkner turning. Steady, now, feed it to him steady." "OK, Doctor, if you'd take the P.G. Wodehouse and apply it, we'll see if there's any reaction." "What about Thurber?" "Well, some times. Try one, then the other. But I'm afraid..." The team moved. Still, the traces were flat. "All right, everyone. I'm going to try one more thing. Clear!" The body convulsed. The traces all jumped, then settled down. Then, as everyone watched, one ticked. Another ticked. Bump, whoosh, bump, bump, bump, whoosh. The young intern shook the older doctor's hand. "Amazing. Simply amazing. What was that last dosage, Doctor?" The older doctor leaned forward, letting a nurse wipe his forehead. "That? Oh. Pure, hard SF. It's always a shock to the system, but I think it did the trick. I was ready to try space opera if that failed..." The young intern nodded. "Yes, I've heard of it, but I'd never seen it. Well, now I'm a believer. Uh, what kind of treatment would you prescribe for maintenance?" The older doctor glanced once at the body, then at the intern. "Keep him hooked up to WRITERS for a while, at least." The intern grimaced. "Yes, he'll have some disorientation, maybe some confusion. But remember, you're dealing with a serious block, and that's the best treatment I know for it." The intern nodded. "Well, I suppose. Imagine, a mainstream writer OD'd like that on mass media. Classical, grand writer's block. I know it happens a lot, but I hate to see them wasted like that." The older doctor squeezed the intern's shoulder. "Don't worry, you'll learn. Just keep those pages flowing, and .. oh, no T.V. in ICU, ok? When he comes to, would you let me know?" "Sure, but why?" "Well, as long as he's here, I've got this great idea for a book..." If you get blocked, battered, or even bored, try WRITERS! Recommended by better writing treatment centers everywhere... --------------------------------------------