>>> Item number 26461 from WRITERS LOG9403A --- (125 records) ---- <<< Date: Wed, 2 Mar 1994 11:45:26 JST Reply-To: WRITERS Sender: WRITERS From: Mike Barker Subject: FAQ: Assorted Rules! (was: Re: Practice Safe Postings) [with apologies in advance to those I have quoted without permission, paraphrased wildly, or otherwise cribbaged. I been a bad boy...] and with thanks to Erik for suggesting it. assorted rules for the ruleless, by the ruler's edge, and off the listless: (Rule De Writers, De Writers rule de list...) 0. Consider your readers. Do unto them at least as well as you would like to be done to, and consider giving better than you get. 1. 50/50 rule - try to post at least one writing-related, semi-serious post for each chatter, joke, short, meaningless, post. Balance your postings! (attributable to jc, if you're keeping score) 2. Rubber Band Limit - congratulate yourself when you only post one or two in a day. Feel the rubber band pinch as you post more. Feel it snap and hit your nose when you get into double-digits. 3. Positive charge - if you can't say something positive, don't say anything. Try to make sure each posting has at least one positive contribution - for everyone on the list. 4. Don't get personal, asshole. Nobody likes to be called stupid, idiot. And similar redundancies... 5. Think about your presentation. The best points in the world, the most wonderful intentions, are worthless if you make the reader so angry they never even notice what you were saying in between the insults, implied putdowns, and other verbal abuse. 6. Start by assuming that the other person was making a reasonable statement from their understanding. Figure out what understanding would make what they said reasonable. Then try to figure out how to say what you want to so that someone with that understanding will see what you are pointing to. It isn't as easy as saying they are idiots and lighting up the flamethrowers to crisp them, but it can be more satisfying. 7. You don't have to respond to everything. If someone seems to be upset, give them a break. That means resting, not hitting them again and again. 8. Avoid trying to "beat" the other person, "win" the argument, or otherwise end the discussion. In most cases, differences of opinion are not solved by debating, no matter how heated - but anger, frustration, and other emotional irritants are racked up to dump later. 9. Read the FAQ on Sparks and Irritations (ask listserv to "/ship writers 31769") 10. MAD - Mutual Assured Destruction. It's the exact same thing whether the weapons are the wild words of verbal abuse or the final solution of strategic nuclear armaments. Randy's short takes: First (a face to face method), let the other person have his/her say before you explain why he/she is wrong, always has been, always will be. Second (a generally applicable tactic), if you have something to say that a group of, oh, say about 200, 300 might like to hear, say it. If not, don't say it. Third (specific to WRITERS), try to keep your postings to subjects at least peripherally about writing. Fourth (applicable to all listservs), remember that some members have to pay more than others to be connected and try to economize as a courtesy to them--gather your thoughts for a few posts; think about what you want to say; say it as well as you can. If nothing else, it promotes conciseness and may even make the REVISION monster less dreadful to contemplate. From Bill Siers: Play nice or I'll yank you out of the sandbox and separate you! KIDS! From Eliz: Try common sense and respect for the other person. A little bit goes a long way. From MJI (MOMMIE!): Do a beagle dance, wail at the moon, and it'll be all right now! From Bruce: try to make the message content more than a header and signature. everyone likes some meat in their sandwiches. From Erik: Behind even the shortest message or most confused writing, there is a person. They may be calling for help, or just having a bad day. From Drex: When you walk in the door, being called names and hearing insults passed around like toys isn't real nice. Give the new kids on the block a chance to find out what kind of gang you are before you string them up. From Mary Poppins: Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down... And from tink: If you can't come up with something concise, make 'em laugh. Happy people want to be more happy, so they keep reading. Angry, bored, and otherwise upsot folks just want to wipe, flush, and go - and that's when the **** hits the bucket, if you'll pardon me putting my asterisks out in public. tink