Date: Tue, 17 Feb 1998 23:26:32 EST From: deeptink Subject: Re: [WRITERS] F: ROBIN: The Cuddly Toy Crisis [WARNING: Not for the poophobic...] PM&I Special Edition Sources placed well out behind the house have revealed a puzzling twist in the International Pooh Crisis that you all have probably been watching on those cable stations when you should have been enjoying Bay Bunnies or some other educational stations. According to deeply placed sources, pooh (with an h) is just a British mispronounciation of that well-known American euphemism, the poo. And the real source of the recent controversy is that deep American intellectual comedy, South Park, starring...the Christmas Poo! The reason the redcoats decided to start out demanding stuffed poohs from a museum is to establish their bonafides and check out their handling techniques before coming after the real target--the Christmas Poo. Our sources allege that this is all a complex plot revolving around the cardboard cores of toilet tissue, with the English determined to maintain stiff upper...well, stiff lower...oh, you know...in the face of their traditional rough brands. But, having seen the Christmas Poo dancing on the telly, they decided to beg for softer sheets. However, they knew that they could only keep a good American Poo in hand if their timing was impeccable, so they decided to practice the maneuver first with stuffed poo. Somewhere in the halls of diplomacy, this simple request got mispronounced into the current Pooh crisis. It was probably one of them furriners from England or London or one of those places that ain't never learned to speak English proper like an American. Our sources insist that shipping a pile of manure to Buckingham Palace, or even mailing a simple little baggy with a good old U.S. cowpie in it, would quiet them down real fast. Heck, there's enough of that around here to make them British think twice about asking for more. Maybe if everyone in Nodak would make up a little box of joy for them and mail it over, we could stop this international confrontation before it even gets started. Reporting from the PM&I Outhouse (and looking for the Sears catalog...someone hid it again?) tink [and for those who don't know what the PM&I is, take a look at http://web.mit.edu/mbarker/www/faqs/pmiv4n1.txt ]