Date:         Sun, 17 May 1998 01:05:47 EDT
From: Give me an R! <mbarker@MIT.EDU>
Subject:      Re: [WRITERS] TECH: Show a little life... (a replay)

:) Date:    Sat, 16 May 1998 13:29:44 PDT
:) From:    Susannah <susannah@THEGRID.NET>
:)
:) Hi tinc!
:) Thanks very much for this. I have a question:
:) Why stay out of your character's head? If I had not mocked up the
:) character and then written from his viewpoint, I would not
:) have a novel. Perhaps I don't understand what you mean?
:) One more below:
:) Susannah

This is very much a question of individual style.  For example, 1st
person writing very naturally gives access to the individual's
thoughts (but not to other characters' thoughts!).  3rd person--the
limited viewpoint hovering near a single character--does allow the
author to dip into the main character's head.

But there is a danger here, similar to the danger in dialogue of "As
you know" syndrome--where the characters talk for the benefit of the
reader, rather than to each other.  That danger is that instead of
showing the reader the actions and dialogue that will let the reader
figure out what the character is thinking/feeling, the author simply
has the _interior monologue_ tell the reader.

I can remember one case where the writer actually had rather nice
descriptions--and ended almost every paragraph with something like "He
felt his rage rising."  Just in case I had somehow missed the hands
clenching into fists, the pounding roar in his ears, and all the other
fine details.  I didn't appreciate the continuing insight into what
the character was thinking/feeling.  I felt as if the author didn't
trust me to figure out what was happening (or they had written the
summary sentences first, then went back and filled it out--and forgot
to remove the summaries?)

I'm really pointing to the thought which Renni Browne and Dave King
express in Self-Editing for Fiction Writers in the section on
"Interior Monologue." (p. 75 ff)

(p. 76)

    "Interior monologue allows you not only to disclose information
that would be hard to bring out in dialogue...but also to give your
readers a feel for who your characters are.  There is, arguably, no
easier way to explore a character or express a reaction to events than
through interior monologue.  After all, you can let your readers in on
exactly what your characters really think without having to filter
that thought through dialogue and action.  Interior monologue is an
intimate, powerful way to establish a character's voice--and
personality."
    "And, as you might expect, interior monologue is so powerful and
easy to write (though not easy to write well) that many fiction
writers tend to overuse it..."

(p. 84) "One final caveat.  When you're self-editing, be on the
lookout for long passages of interior monologue.  As we've suggested,
they usually mean you are telling the reader things you should be
showing..."

To keep it simple, I put it as "stay out of the characters' heads."  I
think there are times when this is ridiculous advice--what you really
want to show is what is going on "in there."  But in general, I'd
suggest be sparing with the dips into the internal life of the
character(s)--that's strong medicine, and you want to use it where it
does the right job.

Does that help?
tink