Date: Fri, 1 Oct 1999 08:04:20 MDT From: "Robyn M. Herrington" Subject: [WRITERS] SUB:CONTEST: LAST DANCE Here it is, our first Halloween '99 contest entry. Critiques are encouraged. Please send them to ME rather than the list - rmherrin@ucalgary.ca. Tell you what -- in order to encourage critiquing of the contest entries, I'll send a hand made paperweight to the person who critiques the most contest entries. In the event of a tie, I'll have someone in the office here draw a name. :) Without further wibble... LAST DANCE 2,770 words "He said he'd be here," said Diana stubbornly, peering around the crowded gymnasium, watching the couples dancing. "He promised." "Diana," Jessie said, "Corwin's been gone for a year. Nobody's heard anything from him in all that time. He won't be here. They moved, remember? He wouldn't travel fifty miles just to come to the dance. He wouldn't even know that there was a dance tonight." Diana folded her arms, studying the people standing by the walls of the gym. "He promised," she repeated. I wouldn't have come here if I hadn't believed that he would keep his promise, she thought. She couldn't say that to her friend. She knew Jessie would just give her the lecture about how she had to start living again, get over Corwin, on and on and on. "Look, Di, I'm going to get a soda. Wanna come with me? It'll do you good to do something besides staring at all the doors, looking for someone who left the school a year ago." Diana swallowed. "No," she said. "I'm not thirsty. You go, okay? I'll catch up with you later." Jessie patted Diana on the shoulder. "You've got to let go, Di. Give yourself a chance." Diana gave her friend a playful shove. "Go ahead. Get your soda. I see Chris and Tony over there. That's why you want to get a soda now anyway, I know. I'd just be in the way." "All right," said Jessie. She turned and started to push her way through the crowd to the refreshment stand at the other side of the gym. Diana figured it would take Jess fifteen minutes just to get there, and another half hour to get her soda. Good, thought Diana. At least I'll have that much time to watch without Jessie worrying about me. She refused to think that Jessie might be right, and Cor might not be coming. He hadn't wanted to move in the first place, but of course it wasn't his choice. Her throat tightened as she remembered their last night together, last year. He had promised he would come back to see her at the first dance of the year. She'd promised that she would wait for him. She'd never loved anyone the way she loved Cor. The power of her longing alone should be strong enough to bring him back, from fifty miles away, or a hundred miles away, or a million. "Diana." She looked up, startled by the sound of his voice, and there he stood, in front of her, as if she had conjured him up by her thoughts. "Cor," she breathed, reaching out to take his outstretched hand. He looks different, she thought, and then she was confused, because she couldn't quite identify what the difference was. He looked paler, as if he'd been indoors all summer. His golden hair had faded a little, or so it seemed, and the blue of his eyes didn't remind her quite as much of brilliant autumn afternoons. Now she thought of winter, the pale and distant cold blue of winter skies. She shook herself all over. What a ridiculous thing to think, she told herself severely. It's just been a long time. You've forgotten all the details of what he looks like, that's all. And people change in a year. "You came back," she said, her voice shaky. "I told you I would," he said. Even his voice sounded slightly strange, as if he had to think about each word before he spoke. "This is the first dance, isn't it? I said I would come back, no matter what." "I'm so glad," she said, and she thought, words can't tell you how glad I am to see you again. "I knew you would." "Dance with me," he said, gazing into her eyes. "You don't know how much I have . . . waited for this." "Me, too," she breathed, as they walked together into the middle of the floor. Now a slow piece was playing, and the other couples on the floor moved closer together. Diana reached for Cor, to put her arms around him. He stood still for a second. She tried to make a joke out of it. "What's the matter? Forgot what you're supposed to do?" He looked at her again, and then moved closer to her. "No. It's just been . . . so long. I haven't done this since . . .since the last time with you." She snuggled in next to him, her body remembering the way it had always felt when she danced with Cor. "So what's it like over there?" she asked. She felt him stiffen all over. He stopped moving altogether. Startled, she looked at him. He looked stricken, as if she had hurt him or startled him. "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?" He shook his head stiffly, and then began moving to the beat of the music again. "No, that's all right. I . . .where I am . . . it's not what you'd expect." "Don't you like it?" she asked. "Nobody's heard from you in so long. We figured you had settled in." He winced. "I don't know if I will ever . . .settle in. Oh, Diana, it's so lonely there. I've missed you so much. That's why I came back. I knew you would be here. I had to be with you again." He seemed to be moving normally again, so Diana tried to relax. Funny, leaning into him like this made her feel drained. Love, she told herself. My knees are weak because I'm so glad to see him again. It's been so long I've forgotten what it feels like. "I'm glad you did," she murmured to him. "I've missed you, too. You could have come back to visit before, you know." "No," he said. His voice sounded strangled, as if he were talking around some obstruction in his throat. "I couldn't have. I came to see you again, Diana. It's been so. . . cold where I am, and I thought you could . . . warm me up." He did feel cold, now that he mentioned it. She shivered slightly herself, even though the gym, crowded as it was, radiated heat. "I'd be happy to warm you up," she replied, smiling at him. "The way I used to warm you up, remember?" He looked down at her, his eyes troubled. "Would you?" he asked. "Would you come . . . back with me?" "For a visit?" He drew a deep breath. She could feel him shuddering. "It's not somewhere that people visit." "You mean you want me to stay with you?" "I would. . .stay with you forever," he said earnestly, looking deep into her eyes. "If you would come with me." Her heart slowed down. She could barely breathe. The air around her felt colder all of a sudden. I must be happy, she thought. I always wanted him to say that to me, and now he has. I must be so happy I can't even feel it. It didn't feel like happiness. Not the way he said it. Something icy slid down her spine. If I didn't know better, thought Diana, I'd almost think I was afraid. "Come with me . . . please?" he said, his voice small, close to her ear. "Where?" She found it hard to breathe. The whole gym seemed swathed in mist, out of focus, unreal. She could see nothing clearly except Cor, and the look in his eyes. "Outside? To our favorite place?" He looked in her eyes, with an intensity that struck her, even at the time, as a little weird. "Yes. Let's go. Away from here." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jessie turning away from the refreshment stand. Jessie frowned at her, and made some vigorous gesture, but Diana ignored her. Whatever Jessie had to say could wait. Cor took her hand, to lead her out of the gym. She noticed, surprised, how cold his hand was. Well, Cor had always had poor circulation. They'd joked about it last year. She couldn't remember it ever being this cold, though. She took his hand in both of hers, rubbing it to warm it up. "You sure you want to go outside?" she asked as they reached the door. "It's fairly cool tonight, and you already feel as if you're kind of cold." "I don't feel it," he said. He ducked his head away from the crowd of kids who clustered around the doorway, smoking cigarettes. Diana was again momentarily surprised. She mentioned it as they walked up the hill in the darkness. "You acted like you didn't want any of those guys to see you." "I didn't." A mist rose from the ground around them. "Why not?" "I just came back for you. They're not important. I wanted . . .you. I wanted to have the chance, just once more, to be with you." She saw the dark shape of the bleachers looming ahead of them. They were almost there now. "Cor, it doesn't have to be just one more time. You can come back as often as you want. Or I could come and see you." He shook his head. The only light was the dim emanation from the gym, far below them. She had trouble seeing his expression. "I told you. You can't come and visit me. It's not . . . nobody visits. People come to stay." "Then you can come here again," she said. They faced each other, in the shadow of the bleachers. She could see the condensation of her breath, though she couldn't see his. "This is my one time," said Cor. His voice sounded distant. "I promised I would come to this dance, and so I could." "I don't understand." Even the sounds from the gym had dimmed. She could barely hear them. The mist was heavier here. He reached out and gently moved a lock of her hair away from her temples. She couldn't tell if she shivered because she was excited or because he was so cold. She felt as if her breath was slowing down, as if she didn't need to breathe quite so often when she was with him. "Don't be afraid," he whispered. He drew her into an embrace, pulling her close to him. Her knees buckled again. She couldn't feel her feet, or her legs. Very odd. "Say you'll come with me, Diana. Say you won't leave me to be lonely anymore." "Oh, Cor, you know I would never want you to be lonely." She thought she'd put her arms around him, but she couldn't feel them, either, or his back. "Say it," he murmured. "Say you want to be with me forever." "Forever?" she asked. His voice was smooth and warm, so much warmer than anything else around her. She could drown in his voice. She remembered, dimly, how much she'd always loved his voice. That hadn't changed. It was good that something hadn't changed. "Forever and ever," he replied. His mouth was close to her ear, but she didn't feel his breath. Funny, when they had made out here before, his hot breath in her ear and on her neck had always excited her. Now she couldn't even feel it. Maybe she was losing sensation in her ears, along with her other extremities. The thought scared Diana, so she pushed it aside. "What happens if I don't?" she asked, just as quietly. From somewhere far away, she thought she could hear someone calling her name. She didn't recognize the voice, though she felt as if she should. "Then I would have to leave, again," he said. "But you wouldn't do that to me, would you, Diana? You wouldn't send me off like that, would you? You love me. You'd come with me, wouldn't you? You wouldn't let me go back . . . back there alone, would you?" He wasn't just pleading anymore. He sounded almost afraid. The realization startled her. "What's the matter, Cor? Are you all right?" "Diana, please. Please, say you'll come with me." She felt his lips brush against her cheek. His lips were cold. How could that be? "You feel different, Cor," she said, pulling back slightly. She tried to get a good look at him, but the light was too dim. In the background, she heard her name again, louder this time. "No," he said, pulling her close to him again, almost fiercely. "No, I'm not different, I swear, I'm not. I said I would come back and I came back, and that's all that matters. So now you'll come with me. Please, Diana! Please!" "Cor, what's wrong? Why are you so afraid?" She concentrated on the beating of her heart, and for a second or two she couldn't even feel it. "Diana, you don't know what it's like! I can't go back, not alone, not without you! Say you'll come. Say you love me and you'll come with me." His voice rose in near panic. She could hear the other voice, calling her name. It sounded familiar. She should be able to remember whose voice that was. "You know I love you," she whispered. Her voice, now, sounded thin and faraway. "You know I want to be with you." "Forever," he breathed. His cheek brushed against hers. It felt wet, as if he were crying, but the water was cold, or she was cold. Or they were both cold. It was getting harder and harder for her to concentrate. "Let go," he murmured. "Kiss me, the way we kissed good-bye last year." It was easier not to think. Easier to go with it. This is Cor, she reminded herself dreamily. She didn't care about her body anymore, or how strange he seemed. He came back, she thought, and let the thought rise in her like the mist all around them. Diana closed her eyes and brought her mouth closer to his. "DIANA!" the voice screamed, and at the same time something crashed into her back, knocking her off balance. Startled, Diana opened her eyes and turned to see who had interrupted her. Jessie grabbed Diana's shoulders fiercely. "Diana, what are you doing? Why are you out here like this?" "Cor," said Diana, gesturing vaguely. "He came back. I had to be with him." Jessie's eyes were round and her voice shaky. "I don't see Cor, Diana. What are you talking about?" Diana turned to reach for Cor. He wasn't there. The mist rose white around them, just as it had when she had moved to kiss him, but he was gone. All she could see was a thin, shadowy form somewhere off in the mist. "Diana, you couldn't have seen Cor. That's what I came to tell you. I was talking to Chris, and he told me that Cor was killed, two weeks ago, in a car accident." "No," said Diana. She couldn't feel her heart. She wasn't sure she was still breathing. "No, he was here. He wanted me to come with him." Jessie opened her mouth and then shut it again without saying anything. She took a deep breath. "That wasn't Corwin, Diana. It couldn't have been." "He came back," said Diana, staring out through the mist. Now even the indistinct form was invisible, as if he had never been there. "He told me he would come back, and he did. We danced together. Then we came out here. He was so cold, and he seemed so frightened, Jess." Jessie's face was white. "Diana, we've got to go back inside, where there are people. This is creeping me out." "He's out there. He's waiting for me. He wanted me to come back with him." Diana broke away from Jessie's grasp and ran toward the mist. "Corwin! Corwin! Come back!" She couldn't feel her legs, or the beating of her heart. She knew she should have been hot from the exertion, but it was so cold. The mist grew thicker, until she couldn't see anything at all. She kept running, calling his name, her voice wispy and thin. She saw him then, far away, barely a thickening in the mist. "Corwin!" she cried. "I want to be with you! Forever!" The figure waited for her. She couldn't see him, but she recognized him. She threw her arms around him, and very slowly, he drew her into his embrace. It felt, briefly, like kissing ice, being held by a cloud. Then she didn't feel anything else. THE END -- ---------+++++++-------+++++++ +++++++-------+++++++--------- Leadership is lifting a person's vision to higher sites, the raising of a person's performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations. -- Peter Drucker Robyn Herrington, Editor rmherrin@ucalgary.ca New Currents in Teaching and Learning Com/Media InfoServe Phone: 220-2561 -------+++++++-------+++++++--------------+++++++-------+++++++---------