Date: Thu, 13 Mar 1997 08:58:09 -0500 From: Catherine Berchtold Subject: INT: Hillbilly Haven By the time Daisy Mae mounted the porch of her friend's house, her strange ailment wuz pert near gone. Puzzled, she scratched her skull and caused her braid ta bounce around a bit on her shoulder. She wuz itchin' ta find out what Patsy Bell (she wuz baptized Patty Ann but her close friends done called her Patsy Bell, cuz Bell is a foreign word for rat beautiful - that's what she said anyhow) had ta say 'bout this. Daisy wuz kinda shy 'bout askin' her friend 'bout her ailment but knowed that Patsy Bell wuz sharper than most folks. Why, she even traveled all the way up ta Ohio ta attend some fancy school. Had ta ride a bus and everythin'. Then after she got some learnin', she come on back home and set herself up a rat nice noon shine business. Patsy liked to call herself a anti-panewer - whatever that wuz. The door flew open and there stood Patsy Bell prancin' in place. She wuz a tad more hyper than most folks in Hillbilly Haven. Guess that's cuz she's so smart and all, her brain probably never stopped. Now, rumor done had it, that Patsy used ta be smarter but had a part of her brain cut out so she'd fit in rat nice with her family and friends. But a body can't rely on rumors. Daisy even heard that somethin' awful happened ta Patsy's behind when she wuz in that fancy school. Somehow it wondered all the way down ta the back of her knees and made a turrible smackin' noise ever time she walked. She finally had ta duct tape it back inna place. But that wuz only rumor so Daisy couldn't say for sure.