Date: Sat, 15 Mar 1997 18:07:28 -0500 From: Catherine Berchtold Subject: INT: Hillbilly Haven "I knowed what your ailment is, Daisy Mae. You done got yourself a soft spot for that ol' Sheriff." All the while Patsy Bell wuz a givin' advice, she wuz makin' pictures ta hang inna trees ta inform folks 'bout her business. "I ain't got no soft spot for the Sheriff. Shoot, I ain't got a soft spot for no fella. What I got is a hurtin' gut." "Yep, and your palms are a sweatin' and your head is a spinnin'. Them's all the signs. I done found out 'bout having soft spots at that fancy school." Daisy started ta think maybe she wuz rat if she learned it at that fancy school. She wuz gettin' desperate and pleaded, "Oh, Patsy Bell, what can I do ta toughen up that soft spot?!" "The only thing I knowed ta do, is ta get hitched. Works ever time." She leaned back inna chair, lookin' smart. "I can't git hitched! I won't be 16 'til the potato harvest!" "Daisy, simmer down. Most girls your age is done married and birthin' babies. I say it's 'bout time." "Can't I jist hang out with him for a spell? I'm afraid if I get hitched up with him, my gut'll ail me somethin' fierce and I'll loose my supper!" "I've knowed of it ta happen before so you otta be ready ta loose a few suppers." "I wanna be like you, Pasty Bell. You're 19 years old and ain't never been hitched." Daisy whined. "The reason I ain't been hitched is cuz I'm an anti-panewer and I don't need no man tryin' ta boss me around." She sounded real firm in what she wuz a sayin'. But Patsy Bell wuz gonna be rat surprised when she got a gander of Castle King, the grilled onions manager.