>>> Item number 13903 from WRITERS LOG9306C --- (50 records) ----- <<< Date: Wed, 16 Jun 1993 17:00:03 JST Reply-To: WRITERS Sender: WRITERS From: Mike Barker Subject: SUB: A Short Fly to Left Field Why did the umpire throw the player out of the ballgame for wearing a watch? Tink's figured it out... maybe. Here's the story... consider it a minor pastille for the sore of mind. A Short Fly to Left Field or Despair in Punville Mighty Crazy stepped up to bat. In the stands, lovers of the form swooned after one look at his pipestem legs in their ratty jeans, his skinny ribs wrapped in a dayglo T-shirt, and those wicked arms with walnut elbows poking into the air as the bat hung low. On his wrist, the fateful watch ticked, a stainless steel bracelet bought for ten dollars at the Walmart that day. The umpire stepped around the catcher and pointed one finger at the watch. "What are you doing with that watch, Crazy?" Crazy lowered the bat, and looked into the umpire's glare. "Just trying to be prepared." The umpire shifted his hands to his hips, and asked again. "What are you doing with that watch, Crazy?" Crazy chewed on his cheek, and tried to spit. Then he answered. "I thought I might have fun tonight, playing this game." The umpire scratched his head, looked at the catcher, looked at the pitcher, then looked at Crazy again. "And if you did?" Crazy smiled. "Gotta be ready. Time flies when you're having fun, that's what my daddy always told me." The umpire stood still for a moment, then ripped off his helmet and threw it on the ground. "That does it. Unsportsman-like conduct, cruelty to dumb umpires, and silly, too. You're out of this game. No more. I'm done with this game, and you are mighty crazy if you think I'm going to stick around any more." Crazy just smiled. "That's me, Mighty Crazy!" The umpire left the field. And that's how the game went off. (sigh - I love romantic stories, don't you?) tink