Date: Thu, 21 Mar 1996 09:43:13 EST From: "no jokes, just tears" Subject: SUB: Who Will Break The Cycle? Comments: To: the killing field? This is somewhat long, and I'm afraid it may be rather disjointed. Still, I would offer these observations while the blood is still fairly fresh...a kind of essay on list violence. [WARNING--contains some harsh implications, personal bile, and other irritants. read only in a well-ventilated area, please.] Who Will Break The Cycle? Copyright 1996 Mike Barker It has come again, that tide of violence, that blustering incitement to bluff and groan, that agony of angers that twist the soul and minds... And I cry "Nay" again. 1. Personal bludgeoning What happened to you? Why would you think that smashing another person, hurting them, humiliating them--why would you think that this gains you something? When they lie bloody on the ground before you, does it make you feel better in some obscure way, or simply disgusted and defeated at your own hands? You say you were hurt before. And because of that, you claim the right to attack and burn someone that crosses your life? When someone extends a tentative hand of friendship--why do you snap at it? Is it fear that drives you to push away those who might be friends, to savage anyone who comes too close to your fierce game? I pray for you. I refuse to fight. I hope that you can learn that this list can be a place of peace where we can improve our abilities of understanding, empathy, and similar communications skills. I think those abilities and skills are far more impressive than verbal goring and trumpeting. Debate, frankly, is not the purpose here. If you are looking for verbal fights, I commend you to the flaming pits of usenet. Be aware that you will be up against past masters of the art. This sandbox--this Writers list--is a place for learning how to present your ideas, how to persuade, sway, and otherwise interact with a reader. It is not an appropriate place for displaying your aggressions, no matter how crude. I consider it highly inappropriate to try to get into a fight about beliefs here. I consider it highly appropriate to present your beliefs or ideas in the best way that you can--and for us to help you polish your methods of presentation, without regard for the ideas. Trying to sneer at my beliefs or smear your own across someone else's tender id--that's not writing or right. Okay? 2. Trolling without a permit I've recently seen several blatant, if pitiful, attempts at trolling. Such attempts throw down a gauntlet, daring anyone to disagree. They are deliberately offensive, no matter what verbal gambits are used to claim mere discussion or lack of wrongful intent. They are simply verbal taunts, hoping against hope for someone to fight, to take them seriously. [Incidentally, when I see such attempts, I have to assume testesterone poisoning is a serious danger--you may want to consult medical help for that condition. I'm told that sometimes the brain can recover at least partial functioning when the condition is treated early...] I realize that teenybopper America has been told that such mutual attacks are one of the ways to act grownup. In some families, I suppose, personal abuse may be the only role model available for how adults interact. I'm afraid such attempts at verbal abuse merely demonstrate the immaturity you are striving to overcome. *Snort, snort. Paw scratching the dirt, he waits for anyone to move, head tossing under the weight of that bone he will use to bash anyone who dares enter his arena...* 3. Staking Claims Without A Rationale If you want to make an effective presentation, you must learn how to reason convincingly. You must appreciate what the reader is thinking, then provide reasons or at least hints about why and how a reader might change their thinking. You must also display a reasonably careful understanding of current thinking and at least a moderate attempt to think and write carefully about your own ideas. Assertions, as such, are not even particularly interesting to the audience. There are loonies everywhere who will happily scream their beliefs in your ear, taking your attempts to get a breath of clean air as assent to their cause. You may want to avoid being lumped in that rather spotted crowd. Start with what we believe. Then show us how what we already believe or know leads reasonably and gradually to what you would like us to understand. Then show us the wonders of our new knowledge. We won't argue, we'll pat you on the back for showing us how smart we are! Let me be real clear. I don't come to this list to argue. I come to this list for writing. I expect that there will be opinions expressed which I do not agree with, and we may discuss the differences. I am far more likely to discuss such matters when I see evidence that the other person has done some reading and thinking about the matter, and that they have invested time and effort in presenting their understanding in a readable, interesting way. But I have no intention of arguing with anyone on this list. I suppose some people might consider some of the recent topics controversial. The presumption made by applying this adjective to certain topics is that there must be something inherent in the topics themselves which causes problems, polarizes participants, and otherwise leads to grief and distress. The people are forced, will they or nil they, into the fray. This, of course, assumes that people are incapable of choice, that they are mere victims of their environment, with those nasty topics shoving them around. It also assumes that every argument has two--and only two!--sides, the wrong one and the right one where I take my stand. One assumes that these topics, by their very illegitimacy, somehow deny truth or contradict the invisible, unstated, and unspeakable reasonableness of the unwashed hordes...perhaps great gort was asleep the day these topics came sneaking onto the scenery, eh? almost makes you wonder who hung those temptations in the garden, doesn't it? I would suggest that I have never found a topic to be disputatious or argumentative--rather it is the participants, with their varied approaches and mental disabilities or blinders which cause difficulties, questions, disputes, and other polemical battles on the fields of pros and cons... 4. And In Conclusion Good writers have little to do with battles and blunders which block communications. They work to avoid mere fireworks and controversy, giving the feeling that they are on your side--even as they shift you to their side! Great writers, of course, are likely to leave you thinking. And a thinking person rarely feels comfortable with only one side of a controversy--they prefer their poetry to have many sides, to be truly polyphonous... So eschew mere controversy. Aspire to multi-faceted, read blooded prose. And quit trolling, you might get bit. Break the cycle of violence, please? Or it will break you. tink