Date: Mon, 16 Jun 1997 21:23:32 -0400 From: Words from the Monastery Subject: EXERCISE: listening to our shadow poemcrazy freeing your life with words Susan G. Wooldridge ISBN 0-517-70370-X 21 listening to our shadow When I was young my favorite book was Now We are Six by A.A. Milne. My mother tells me I never wanted to turn seven. It seemed like a serious mistake to me. I wasn't eager to become a grownup along with everyone else wearing tie shoes. Before turning seven, I wanted time to stop. Later I learned that the psychologist Carl Jung suggested (as A.A. Milne and I must have known instinctively) that when we're about seven we separate from and then bury or repress whatever parts of us don't seem to be acceptable in the world around us. According to Jung, these unacceptable parts become our shadow. If we're shy and withdrawn, it's our shadow who's doing flamenco dances on a table in a nightclub. If we're always doing good turns and being obedient teenagers, it's our shadow who's sneaking out the window at night and coming back muddy and hung over at dawn. If we're rebellious, disobedient and procrastinating, it's our shadow who's on the honor roll. Laura, with long blond hair, a health food, vegetarian diet and a hand-built house in the pines, discovered her shadow dresses in tight black leather, wears spike heels, has straight black hair, red lips and black nail polish. She smokes cigarettes through a long, metal cigarette holder. Another friend who dresses in baggy sweats has a persnickety shadow in tailored business suits. I meet often with my shadow. She's a statuesque Greek goddess who sometimes brings me messages through a cool and unavailable grey cat. I've taken the more boring role of wife, mother and responsible citizen (though my daughter tells me not to worry, I'm weird enough). To become more fully who we are, it's a good idea to invite our shadow to speak now and then. In the meditation/visualization I practice, I talk with my shadow most evenings about the next day. I'm disorganized and she's the master planner. She knows how to give me free time, which I rarely allow. And I try to spend Thursdays letting her inform me and often take me shopping. She's more extravagant than I am. Once in Santa Monica she urged me to buy an outrageously expensive ocean green, ripply dress like the one she wears, Greek leopard straps. She wanted me to wear this to a high school reunion, but I didn't have the courage. Here's a poem I work to her shortly after our shopping trip, My shadow appears leopard shoes ocean dress leopard hat and she knows the order of things. Her hair in green vines and she lives to drive men wild, they walk babbling into the sea. The mousier I act the more men she drowns. My shadow is a grey cat who makes lizards drop their frenzied tails and makes me wear her shoes. Since then my shadow has come closer. I'm listening and we're usually friends. I just shut my eyes and ask her to appear. Sometimes if I've neglected her, she seems negative or angry until I begin to listen. I ask her what she needs from me. Lately she's been telling me to wear white. She likes me to dance. I need to ask her where and when. Often she wants me to shut doors and get to bed by ten to read. She likes to help me cut my writing. She always reminds me to breathe more deeply. She wants to be on the cover of this book in black, leaping. Recently my shadow has been asking me to follow her through a rocky valley without looking back. Last week she showed me how to dance me how to dance a little jig along the way. She's dressed in white herself in what appears to be a bridal gown. I think she wants me to wed her, the disowned half of myself, and begin to experience the unknown: the feeling of being whole. Practice Find a quiet place, sit down, shut your eyes and ask your shadow to appear. Your shadow may be angry, weak, sad or frightened because he or she hasn't had a chance for expression. When you bring your shadow to consciousness and begin to meet his or her needs, the figure's appearance will probably change. Begin a conversation with your shadow. If you're willing, invite him or her to become part of your life. Describe him or her. Not the changes in appearance as your conversation continues. Ask what your shadow needs from you to have a positive role in your world. Where can you meet? What would your shadow like you to do together? Make a date to meet with your shadow once a week or, if you prefer, every day at a certain time. Let your shadow pick the time and place. Write all this down. Let your shadow write a poem. -- volente Deo, Anthony D http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/4640/ http://www.geocities.com/Paris/LeftBank/5757/ "Don't you dare gloat, you miserable little biscuit whore." -- Fraser Crane