Date:         Sun, 15 Mar 1998 17:03:58 +0800
From: Raymond McDowell <bbgpted@ASIAONLINE.NET>
Subject:      INT: The Resort: Shaping Up

I woke up to the sound of a bull horn shreiking feedback, then exploding in
my ear with an all too familar voice.

"Awright, Yez worthless ragamuffins. Up an' at 'em.  Y'r life o' Riley jus'
become extinct. Y'r inna army now!"
I looked up through a haze at what appeared to be Louis Gossett in a sharply
creased airforce uniform bellowing out invectives. However, when my vision
cleared, it turned out to be Woofie. She was dressed in a two piece bikini,
fur dripping from a recent dip in the sea, adamantine claws glistening in
the sun and a bull horn held to her mouth by the security guard we ran into
when we first materialised at the Resort who had mistaken me for a computer
technician. He was dripping as well. In the yard chair beside us, Phanny and
B.B. Loi sat giggling and scheming.  Rqy, my adopted Paw, was still snoring.

"Magrill, roust that bleedin' idjit."

"Yez, Mz. Elle."

The guard with a chisled physique knelt down to roll Dad out of the chair,
but as soon as he reached for him,

Pop grabbed him around the neck and planted a big kiss right on the
Australian's suntanned lips. Magrill sputtered and tried to get away but Pop
latched on tight. Magrill jumped back and spun around, trying to dislodge
Dad, but Dad clung like a little spider to a big fly. Finally, in a spasm of
strength, Magrill threw Dad sprawling onto the sand.

"PTOOEY!" He retched. This was to be the limit to his conversation for the
rest of the day.

"Oops," said Pop. "Sorry. I guess you caught me in the middle of a dream."

"And just who were you dreaming of?" glared B.B.Loi.

"Why, you, cutie-pie. You, of course."  Then he winked at Magrill who went
into another spitting fit.

"Git orf it," growed Woofie. "Y'r lovin' wife done told us ter git youse two
into shape an' tha's just what I'm gonna do. Now, gimme fifty, both of
youse."

Rqy shrugged, then pulled out his begging bowl and counted out a quarter, a
dime, a nickel and five pennies. He handed it to Magrill.  I wrote out an
I.O.U.

"I mean 50 pushups, youse idjits!"

I looked out to see the sun setting over the ocean. I realized it was gonna
be a long day's night."


(For anyone wishing to capture the full impact of this meandering saga, Tink
has graciously allotted it some space at his WRITERS Web presentation.  Just
tune your Web browser to the following URL:

http://web.mit.edu/mbarker/www/road/road.html)

Cast:

Ms. B.B. Loi: Former Hong Kong pop star, now a secret agent for the HKSAR.
Also wife of Rqy.

Rqy:  Now disguised as a buddhist monk, he is a ne'er do well and a
vagabond. Husband of B.B. Loi.

Xiao Da Shing Shing:  Cyber-monkey turned hominid.

Woofie & Phanney: Co-proprietors of the Resort (along with a nearby
brothel)

Bruce Magrill: Resort security, such as it is.