Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 08:33:48 +0800 From: Raymond McDowell Subject: NT: Xiao & Co. still On the Road When Rqy and Xiao made it back to camp, it was well after dark. As a consequence, future census takers will be hard put to explain the sudden upsurge in population in a certain remote Tibetan village. This is because Xiao turned on the transporter/flashlight to find their way home and inadvertently sent 20 locals and approximately 70 tourists from France, Germany and Taiwan to the flashlight's owner's little mountain village. As they approached the camp, they saw about a dozen people, all sitting around a camp fire. They were all hiccuping happily and slurping down Momma Wong's shark's fin soup. Momma Wong and B.B. Loi were standing off to the side, sharing a small bowl of rice. Rqy walked over to his wife and mother-in-law. "What's going on here?" he asked. "It started off simple enough," said B.B. Loi. "A couple of people saw Momma fixing dinner and asked what we were having. Momma Wong told them and invited them to eat with us. They ran off and came back with their whole family." Momma Wong broke in a loud voice. "Kiude ho dah sic fan! Ngohde ng sic....." "Now Momma, don't curse," said B.B. Loi. "Anyway, these people have already eaten all our food and are just about ready to finish off the soup. All that's left is this one little bowl of rice for all of us." Xiao grinned. "Lemme handle this," he said. He proceeded to the camp fire and said, "Hope you all like thin air and goat cheese." He then flashed the transporter beam on each glutton. They, in turn, each blinked out like electric lights. Soon all that was left were 12 bowls of steaming shark's fin soup. "C'mon folks. Soups on," said Xiao and sat down to eat. "Oh darling, you found a transporter. And the latest model too, a Dalai Lama synchronized porta-beam. It enlightens you, transports you and automatically empties your bank account into the Free Tibet fund all at the same time." "Great," said Rqy, "but Xiao should actually get the credit for it. He's the one who stol---er, found it." "Thank you, Xiao." "Nothin' to it. Trouble is all the directions are in Sanskrit and its set for someplace I don't wanna go. We need to figure out how to reset it." "Leave that to me," said B.B. Loi. So, while Momma Wong reheated the soup, B.B. Loi began fiddling with the controls on the transporter. After a couple of minutes she said, "There. I think I've got it," and accidently turned it on. There was a quick flash of light, just long enough for her to say "...or not" before sending herself traveling somewhere at hyper-speed. "Oops," said Xiao. "Number six?*" said Momma Wong. Rqy said nothing. He just walked over to where B.B. Loi had stood, picked up the transporter and stared at it. (to be continued) Cast: Ms. B.B. Loi: Former Hong Kong pop star, now a secret agent for the HKSAR. Also wife of Rqy. Momma Wong: B.B. Loi's mother. Rqy: Now disguised as a buddhist monk, he is a ne'er do well and a vagabond. In short, a writer. Husband of B.B. Loi. Xiao Da Shing Shing: Cyber-monkey turned hominid.