Date: Tue, 24 Feb 1998 06:37:01 +0800 From: Raymond McDowell Subject: INT: The Wongs Leave Hillbilly Haven (The story so far: Ms. B.B. Loi, top secret agent for the HKSAR, has been dispatched by her government to quell the conspiracy that has caused the wholesale slaughter of chickens in Hong Kong, the undoing of the Hong Kong stock market and the El Nino weather pattern. To accompany her on her mission, she has chosen her mother, her husband and his cyber-familiar. Said hubby, Rqy, has just been run over by a wild man riding a pig.) B.B. Loi was beginning to wonder if she had made a mistake. Was it possible she should have brought trained professionals with her on her mission instead of her mother, her husband and a trench coat wearing cyber-monkey? Perhaps, but that was rice already harvested. It was now her job to turn this rag-tag bunch of over-ripe bananas into a coordinated team. "Got it!" she said as she slipped the coordinates into place on the DaLi Lama synchronized porta-transporter. They were now ready for the next step on the trail of the most insidious conspiracy of our time. She rushed over to the tool shed where Rqy sat while Xiao did his best to apply first aid to the scrapes, bruises and hoof marks the wild pig, Mable, had inflicted on him earlier in the day. "It was terrible," muttered Rqy. "Those wild eyes. The claws and fetid breath. The crazed grunts and squeals." "What do you expect from a runaway pig," growled Xiao. "I'm talking about the guy riding the pig. The pig just looked scared." "It's time to go," said B.B. Loi. "I believe I've figured out the settings on the transporter." "I hope so," said Xiao. "I'm tired of these backward locales. I want bright lights and lots of foot traffic. Night life. Strip joints. Places where I can lean back and breath in the stench of civilized society." "I think I've got just the place for you," said B.B. Loi." Then she and Xiao each took their positions, Xiao on Rqy's shoulders and B.B. Loi at the proper angle to catch the full brunt of the transporter beam as it reflected off Rqy's shining scalp. "I just can't help but think I'm forgetting something," she said as she switched on the transporter and sent them on their way. (For anyone wishing to capture the full impact of this meandering saga, Tink has graciously allotted it some space on the WRITERS segment of his Web presentation. Just tune your Web browser to the following URL: http://web.mit.edu/mbarker/www/road/road.html) Cast: Ms. B.B. Loi: Former Hong Kong pop star, now a secret agent for the HKSAR. Also wife of Rqy. Momma Wong: B.B. Loi's mother. Rqy: Now disguised as a Buddhist monk, he is a ne'er do well and a vagabond. In short, a writer. Husband of B.B. Loi. Xiao Da Shing Shing: Cyber-monkey turned hominid.