Date:         Wed, 9 Jul 1997 15:40:03 -0500
From: Phanny <corbett@SLUAXA.SLU.EDU>
Subject:      F: CONTEST: LIMERICK WINNERS!

Buttdawg saunters out on stage in his tux with tails, making at least 3
tails trailing behind him.

"Here to present the limerick awards is Oglum Petard Boomp, that plump,
palid, putrid patron of the SPT."  <loud applause, hooting, and yee-haws
ensue>

*****

"Ladies and gentlemen, farm animals, flora, fauna, and others.....

I consider it an honor and a miracle, considering the 4 quarts of gin I have
sipped in the last two hours, to stand before you.  I don't give a shit what
Descartes said--I, Oglum Petard Boomp propose the following toast:

 'I drink, therefore I am--quite shit-faced.'

I am honored to have been chosen to award prizes for the winning
lime-rickeys.

First prize goes to Helen Gordon for the lime-rickey entitled:
"Limerick in Spanglish".   A fine lime-rickey *cough*  *scratch*,
with images and *hic* feeling.  Let's hear it for Helen!  *Cough, hic,
burp.*

Second place goes to Steve Roberts for "The Flirtatious Miss Hurt".
NOW PASS THAT *COUGHING* BOTTLE,... THIS STAGE IS SCARING ME SOBER!

Third place goes to Zelda Fresser for "My Old Kentucky Roan".
LET'S GIVE ZELDA A NICE HAND AND ALL SHE CAN DRINK!

By Peter C. Davis