Date: Fri, 4 Jul 1997 03:12:00 -0400 From: Ray McDowell Subject: Re: INT: Omar's Mutilation Someone in a dusky corner of the tavern snickers uncontrollably, taking in the scene and scribbling away. Komrade Rqy walks in. He's wearing a Mao hat and an orange and purple checkered polyester suit. He walks over to the bar and grabs Dwayne by the collar. "Dwayne. You've got to help me. I'm in terrible trouble." "What's that, Conrad?" "That's Komrade, Dwayne. I need help and I need it quick." "One blowjob comin' right up," says Dwayne and disappears behind the bar. "No, Dwayne. That's Robin Alyson's favourite.......drink. I drink Tsing Tao beer--or I used to, before my conversion." "Oh yeah, I nearly forgot Rqy. You got enlightened." "Or so I thought. But then I got married. And then Hong Kong was reunited with China. It's screwed my mind, Dwayne. My midlife crisis has reasserted itself. My sex drive is in idle. My heart is empty. I'm old and tired. I can't think straight. And worst of all---worst of all...." Rqy's voice trails off. He releases his strangle hold on Dwayne as he becomes distracted by Omar's next blood-curdling scream. Dwayne starts wiping off some recently returned glasses with a worn and frayed all-purpose pigskin. He spits at a stubborn grease spot on the glass he's drying. "Well Rqy, what is it? Can't you see we're all getting ready for this year's Summer Writing Competition." "Nooooooooooo!" Moans Komrade Rqy. "Not that. Anything but that." "Aw, Rqy. Did you forget to enter again?" "Enter. I can't enter. That's just it, Dwayne. I've lost my sense of humour. I'll never be able to enter a Summer Writing Contest again!" And the cackle from the shadows grows louder and the sound of a Number two pencil scribbling on a Big Chief tablet speeds up. Komrade Rqy of the HKSAR