Date:         Fri, 4 Jul 1997 05:26:00 -0400
From: Ray McDowell <Raymond.McDowell@BMHKG-01.SPRINT.COM>
Subject:      Re: INT: PAPP: Omar's Mutilation

         "Aw, Rqy. Did you forget to enter again?"

         "Enter. I can't enter. That's just it, Dwayne. I've lost my
         sense of humour. I'll never be able to enter a Summer
         Writing Contest again!"

         And the cackle from the shadows grows louder and the sound
         of a Number two pencil scribbling on a Big Chief tablet
         speeds up.


         Komrade Rqy of the HKSAR


Phanny looks up from Omar's wounds to see her cyber-brother in
distress.  She pulls out one particularly nasty looking shard from
the Arab and tosses it in the pail besider her.  Omar howls in
ecstasy.  Wolfess Elle's brood crowd round Omar and gives the wounded
area a thorough bath, disinfecting it with copious amounts of
Tasmanian wolf saliva.

"Ahhh," moans Omar.

Phanny wipes her hands off her apron and hurries over to the bar.
"Now what's the matter with you, brother dear?"

"Conrad says he's lost his sense of humor," says Dwayne.

"That's Komrade, Dwayne."

"Whatever. Anyway, old Rqy here has done lost his lust for life or
anything else to hear him tell it."

"Phiddle sticks," sprays Phanny and pulls her cyber-brother's head to
her ample breast.

"Oh Phanny dear. I knew you could give me succour," says Rqy as he
inappropriately nuzzles his sister.

"Behave yourself, Bro. This is a family Interactive."

"Yeah. Right," mutters Dwayne as he heads out from behind the bar in
answer to a gesture from the odd cackling figure in the shadows.

"Now what's wrong, Rqy. Tell your Sis. You and the new bride have a
phalling out?"

"Oh, Phanny. It's not that. I just can't pull out the punchlines
anymore. I can't think funny. My brain is atrophied. I can't even do
a decent pratfall."

"There there. Donchu worry none. Sis has got jus' the thing to take
care of you."

"What's that."

"Didn't you know? we got our own psychological magician on list now.
Butty Junior! Front and Center!"

A pug-faced pup from Wolfie's brood looks up and trots over. He has a
WW I helmet on his head and a birthmark on his butt shaped like the
Emerald Isle.

"Wmewudlyw0oojllkjt, Phanny?"

"Junior, you takes right after your ol' pa', don't you. I wanchu to
go get Siggy. He's over at Aunt Roz's Purple Beautique, gabbin' about
the non-existance of anybody named Anthony, Jehova, Jesus or Jung."

"Ileihntly?"

"Exactly. And tell 'im its an emergency."

Buttdawg Jr scuttles out the door and down the garden path.
The cackling scribbler cackles and scribbles on.  Rqy keeps trying
to look down Phanny's dress. Phanny begins to transmorgiphy into
a June Cleaver lookalike. Dwayne has disappeared.

Komrade Rqy from HKSAR, P.R.C.