Date:         Mon, 7 Jul 1997 03:13:00 -0400
From: Ray McDowell <Raymond.McDowell@BMHKG-01.SPRINT.COM>
Subject:      Re: INT: SPT / PAPP: Two Sinister New Allivals...

         ("We not after dlunk flogs or ploplietors anyway... where is
         the lenegade Locky?"

         "WHO?" the bar choruses back.

         "Locky! Arias Litchy! The irregal seclet arien spy who prots
         to take contlol of... of the prace we come flom! Who steers
         the fires of dissident porice poetly and pletends it his own
         lighting, and DOESN'T GIVE US LOYALTIES!!!!")

         Komrade Rqy, kneeling in abject abeysance before Judy,
         leans forward, raises his hind end and peers between his
         legs.  He can hardly believe what he sees. The Starsky and
         Hutch of the new Hong Kong Special Regional Administration
         Fleerance Porice, Messers Lo and Chong.

         During the  puzzled silence, Rqy raises up on his tippy
         toes and finger tips. He begins inching his way towards the
         door.

         (Then a small shocked voice speaks; it is not certain whose
         it is, but it must certainly speak for all writers...

         "Yer means... royalties? Somebuddy 'ere... 'as
         p-p-p-plagerriseded...")

         Komrade Rqy freezes in mid-inch. Behind the camaflauge of
        his orange and purple checkered polyester suit,  he eyes
        the assembled WRITERS warily and feels an eery chill race up
        and down his spine.

         ("Nonthenth!" says the frog stoutly (if indistinctly). "None
         o' uth 'ud evah..." But it is apparent that the seeds of
         suspicion have been sown. The WRITERS peer at each other
         uneasily, wondering if it could be possible... wondering if
         it could be true... wondering who the heck has a name like
         Locky or Litchy anyway... wondering what the heck kind of
         speech impediment they're dealing with now...

         "Sirence! We know he here. We tlace him by tlail of Rime and
         Chiri Tostitos. Lo Rat Fink, find curprit while I watch
         door." Smugly, knowing that a divided crowd is a compliant
         crowd, Chong Kew Law steps back through the door. There is a
         clatter and muffled curses from the other side, then an
         ominous-sounding click.

         Lo Rat Fink begins to peer into the faces of the stunned
         WRITERS, holding his menacing machine pistol on each in
         turn. Until suddenly he stops... and a worshipful look comes
         over his narrow ratlike face.

         "June Creaver?" he breathes... and lets his gun sink slowly
         to the floor...)

         Seeing his chance, Rqy reverses field away from the door and
         heads as fast as his fingers and toes can carry him towards
         the kitchen, but finds himself blocked by Omar's tent.

         Suddenly, Judy rises from her seat and begins to recite....

         ("I think that I will never see, a poem as lovely as a
         tree....Double bubble toil and trouble, fire burn and
         cauldren bubble.....Out out damn spot!)

        Judy's ploy is just the opportunity he's looking for.  While
        everyone is distracted by her dramatic display, he grabs
        the suitcase she left behind and rushes out the door.
        Unfortunately, it is the wrong door. Rqy has dropped through
        the portal into the Dysmal Keep.

        Freely Plagerised from the Work of BT, Judy, Chris V.,
        Phanny, Will Shakespeare, Emily Dickenson et.al. by Komrade
        Rqy of the HKSAR.