Date: Thu, 13 Feb 1997 22:23:00 -0500 From: Rqymond McDowell Subject: INT: The Resort: The Invasion Continues "What I don't understand--what I will never understand--is why the Arvoods in Helium keep insisting on getting their designs from this `Houston' place, then sending us all out in these souped up make-believe spacecraft on suicide missions. Crashlanding in Australia. That's about as stupid as you can get and still be able to chew and swallow." "Politics, Hon," Answered the pilot's navigator. "The Arvoods want to make nice with the major Terran governments. That's why we keep our distance, keep our spacecraft in line with terran expectations and speckle the Australian landscape with artificially induced crators. I agree it doesn't make any sense, but that's what happens when government mixes with big business. I'm a little worried about Zobar and Cratchett, though. Knocking those two egos together for a ten zillion mile ride is begging for trouble." "What can you expect, Hon. Not everybody gets along as well as we do." "Keep you elongated appendages to yourself, Fool. I'm saving myself for true love or as a sacrifice to the copulation god, whichever comes first." "Oh, all right. I always try to respect the sexual beliefs of others, no matter how rediculous they may be." "Thank you." "Well, we might as well get on with it. Latch up for crash landing procedures. Maybe we'll come out of this one with all our tentacles attached yet." "`Ours is not to reason why.....'" "Right. More Earth political propaganda. Fukit, Hon. Let's do it if we're gonna do it." "Gotcha, Fool. Take her in." The craft swooped down into the atmosphere and dove onto an explosive crash with the earth below, along with the thousand other craft of assorted earth related design sent on this mission. Phanny stood and watched as the Resort grounds became a crater pocked landmark. She ran and dodged the debris as best she could, but these odd aliens kept getting in the way, all wanting to know where to find their leaders, Zobar and Cratchett. "They went to the Haven for Hopeful Romantics," yelled Phanny above the din. "Ah think they both fell in love with Wolfesse and was chasin' her as she dashed t' the HHR, bein' such a remarkable romantic as she is." "What? They followed the most fearsome creature in the galaxy to her very den? What were they thinking of?" "Whale, they wuz shot through the hearts by a little feller with wings, a bow an' arrow. I doan think they could help themselves." "The angel of copulation attacked them?" cried the alien know as Fool. "Come along Zagnuts(tm), we have to save them. Who knows what terrible fate awaits Zobar and Cratchett?" Then Fool turned back to Phanny. "What's the quickest way to this Haven place?" "They all took to swimmin' there, but the quickest ways has to be the transporter beams over in the shower area. If'n you pholks wanna go, you can even spruce up a bit bephore you beam over." "Wonder idea, earthling. Perhaps you should join us. You don't appear to be traumatised by our presence." "No thanks. I think I'll set this holiday out. I'm just recoverin' from an internal attack to my phulumgrum an' I don't wanna get it all slung outta place again by romancin' and such. You pholks go on ahead." The aliens all rushed to the showers where they scrubbed one another avidly, then beamed over to the Haven en masse. Rqy http://www.hk.super.net/~kenjoe/ (click on the button in the upper right hand corner that says "Rays Page")