Date:         Fri, 14 Feb 1997 08:00:01 EST
From: Tom Seitzinger <tom_seitzinger@CCMAIL.MONROE.EDU>
Subject:      HHR: The Ambush

     It was a scene akin to  one of the Hellraiser movies.  While 'The
     Beast' was being emasculated by his feminine escort in Fairy Land,
     demonic forces beyond understanding where  being conjured within The
     Keep.

     The earth rumpled and tossed the helpless Keep while shreds of filthy
     cloth flew to an epicenter located underneath The Beasts bed from all
     corners of the WRITERS realm.  After an hour passed all went silent
     and a small  mangled pair of ancient briefs with glowing green eyes,
     an unidentifiable superhero embroidered elastic waistband  and
     distinct brown streak encrusting its center floated forward letting
     out a horrible shriek.  It was Stinky Sox's long lost distant cousin,
     the all powerful evil Ru of Under.

     He and The Beast were best friends in youth and mutually protected
     each other.  Beast's mother though was persistent on the notion of
     nagging him to let her clean the disintegrating undergarment at least
     once.  He always refused her wishes so she took up another strategy.

     While both were sleeping one night she quietly snatched the rotten
     underwear and threw it into the laundry thus washing all of his magic
     powers away.  All that remained were some frayed gray and brown rags
     and the elastic band.  Quickly in fear for her life she hid all the
     pieces in secret places all over the realm so she wouldn't evoke the
     anger of her child's wrath.  When asked the next morning about Ru's
     whereabouts mother denied everything and suggested that he went out
     adventuring alone.  Beast was satisfied with her answer and continued
     living waiting for his friend to return.


     Now was the time for all knowing Ru's return.  Sox should not be
     allowed to get this perfect woman Snow.  He also slighted Beast's
     dignity by eating the ant infested twinkie.  (The twinkie might not
     have been alive but the ants sure were).


     What Ru didn't realize though was that his earthquake appearance
     within The Keep caused a recently installed sprinkler system to go
     off.  Within a few moments he was reduced to a clean pile of rags once
     again...



     TJ