Date: Wed, 12 Feb 1997 10:30:00 -0500 From: BARBARA HARRIS Subject: INT: F: HHR... The Big Bang -- [ From: Barbara Harris * EMC.Ver #2.5.1 ] -- Barbara shook her head and started mumbling something about a hair shirt and the party has to be perfect, perfect. She looked in despair at the goings-on in the Front Hall. That ditzy Snow White had been gazing into the hall mirror, chanting "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" To her shock, Hagatha's image appeared in the mirror and cried out, "I am!", as she dissolved into Crone form and faded. The battle between Snow and Bunny over some seemingly non-existent Prince raged on, while Snow finally got Maria's box open despite Bunny's efforts to stop her. A huge blow-up doll of TJ exploded out of the box, and at the same time, Barbara heard another louder explosion coming from the Writing Room. She dashed in and found the room filled with a veritable army of cupids , which Hagatha was plying with wine and had dancing about her in an orchestrated performance. (Well, I can't help it... Rqy said there were a bunch and they were drunk!) "What happened, Hagatha?" "It was the sugar cookies, Barbara, he ate one too many and he just exploded! Apparently, it's how they reproduce! That Snow White was in here threatening him, and he got so upset he went into a feasting frenzy . My mother always told me I'd explode if I ate too much, but I never believed her." "Well, hide the cookies before we end up with too many of them! And Hagatha, you're a holo-clone. You don't *have* a mother." "Well, dammit, Barbara, that's really terribly unkind of you to say! I don't really think you need to always be pointing out how different I am ! I want a mother just like everyone else!" Barbara looked at Hagatha curiously... first Bunny, then Snow White, now Hagatha? Swearing and cross tempers seemed to be running wild. "Ah, but you're mistaken. Some people just want a Prince. The front hall is a disaster! Our two Fairytale Princesses are fighting over a present that's not even addressed to them, but to the Snow Angel Queen, who isn't even here yet! I told you guys I want this party to be perfect, and it's a mess! Now, how are we going to improve things?" Hagatha smiled secretively, but said nothing, though she did wave her hand and point with a flourish to the patio door. The tipsillated Cupids dashed out, little bows at the ready, and flew all over BarkerVille, shooting everyone they found, apparently in time to save the party after all. But that was far from being all Hagatha had up her sleeve. Barbara looked at her nervously and started wringing her hands. She went back to the front hall in time to see Bunny offering an Apple to Snow White, and the front doorbell rang. She opened the door, and saw a tall stranger standing there with his back turned, and a cloaked Lady by his side. "Hello?" The man turned, and he wasn't a stranger after all, and Barbara looked into deep brooding eyes. "B-B-B-Beast? How nice of you to c-c-c-come!" She sighed in relief that Hagatha's Cupid Army had already flown off. "Please, come in! Both of you. Your rooms are ready! And my dear Lady ... I know that Egideas has sorely missed you!" She reached out and gave her long-missing friend a huge hug. The pair stepped into the hall .. "You know, I heard the most curious singing as we crossed the lawn. It sounded like 'Heigh ho, Heigh ho, it's off to work we go...' Does everything around this place come with such disgusting cheeriness? Who would sing about having to go to work?" asked Beast. Barbara just looked startled, and pointed at Snow White, who had realized there was a man in the room, and was headed at lightning speed towards the door... -- @>-->-->------ Love & ------<--<--<@ Light, Barbara, wishing Spring would get sprung! @)--,--'-- @>-->-->-- @}~~~~~ @)--,--'-- @>-->-->-- @}~~~~~ @)--,--'-- Population, when unchecked, increases in a geometrical ratio. Subsistence only increases in an arithemetical ratio. -Thomas Robert Malthus (1798!) (He said that without seeing "The Trouble with Tribbles"!) --'--,--(@ --<--<--<@ ~~~~~{@ --'--,--(@ --<--<--<@ ~~~~~{@ --'--,--(@ Barbara Harris ~ TCZJ32B@Prodigy.com "The A-Bomb enables no man." -Bigfoot Heh, and I thought the *Adam* bomb caused the population explosion! -Hagatha, wielding Eternal PUN-ishment.