Date: Wed, 20 Dec 1995 17:49:35 EST From: "Earth calling?..." Subject: FILLER, WOTD: The Inner MCP Comments: To: Third Base! [warning! contains many words, some properly misused and abused. read at your own pleasure. you have been warned!:-] recently someone mentioned that delight of the epicurean palate, a male chauvinist pig. however, I realized they had not mentioned whether he was roast in his own juices, glazed with honey and sliced fine, or just what kind of presentation the old carcass had. then I began to suspect I had misunderstood the drift of the meaningless. upon reflection (not in that mirror, you narcissist! the one that makes one look one's beast!) one realized that one was not completely certain of the meaning of the words. So one bravely ventured into the world of Webster and other wordy wonders... 1. male ...fertilizer...fruitless...designed for fitting in hollows...Male always indicates sex, while masculine and manly deal with qualities of distinguishment and admirability (few and far between, did I hear someone mutter?)...masculine foibles...courage and resolution, and that stress of driving energy or aggression...well, I think we get the picture. the hairy beast that snores at night... [So we are talking about sex, eh? how quickly the topic comes up...] 2. chauvinist, in turn, comes from chauvinism, which refers to Nicolas Chauvin, a French soldier who displayed extreme patriotism and devotion to Napoleon. the use of the word generalized to excessive or blind patriotism...cross-reference jingoism, which is extreme chauvinism or nationalism marked especially by a belligerent foreign policy... :) ah, the spirits of the season... :) :) jingo bells :) jingo bells :) jingo all the way :) oh what fun it is to fight :) a third world nation tonight! [but who is this Nicolas Chauvin? shall we delve a bit deeper?] from the Encyclopedia Britainnica... The word is derived from the name of Nicolas Chauvin, a French soldier who, satisfied with the reward of military honours and a small pension, retained a simpleminded devotion to Napoleon. He came to typify the cult of the glorification of all things military that was popular after 1815 among the veterans of Napoleon's armies. Later, chauvinism came to mean any kind of ultranationalism and was used generally to connote an undue partiality or attachment to a group or place to which one belongs. The term chauvinism may also describe an attitude of superiority toward members of the opposite sex. Aha! despite the possibility that we are simply castigating the veterans of Napoleon's armies (few and far between at this time, I would venture to suggest), we should turn our sighs on the possibility that the phrase is intended to refer to an attitude of superiority toward members of the opposite sex. A male chauvinist, presumably, would be a member of the beknighted sexual grouping who mistakenly felt some superiority towards women. [actually, of course, it could consist of those who, satisfied with the reward of mutual respect and a small pension, retain a simpleminded devotion to romance...but we shall skip lightly past that aged nonsense and grab the bull by his testicles, as the expression goes...] Naturally, such an assumption of superiority would be an error, while a female chauvinist would be simply pointing to well-known facts (endurance, strength, levels of pain, etc...men have been pampered down the ages, and the resulting genetic weaknesses are clear...:-) So, only one more word to investigate... 3. the pig! [bits freely stolen from the Encyclopedia...] a wild or domestic swine, a mammal of the Suidae family. In Britain, the term pig refers to all domestic swine; in the United States, to younger swine not yet ready for market and weighing usually less than 82 kg (180 pounds), others being called hogs. [well, we are probably really dealing with hogs, not pigs, then? at least here in America?] Pigs are stout-bodied, short-legged, omnivorous mammals, with thick skins usually sparsely coated with short bristles. [quite descriptive. consider the lowly whisker burn, and shave, gentlemen, shave...] Domestic pigs are categorized according to three basic types: large-framed lard types with a comparatively thick layer of fat and carcasses usually weighing at least 100 kg (220 pounds); smaller bacon types, with carcasses of about 70 kg (150 pounds); and pork types with carcasses averaging around 45 kg (100 pounds). [lard type...that sounds like the true male chauvinist pig...but couldn't we shorten this, and refer to chauvinist boars...or should that be bores? not to be confused with the chauvinist sow, piglets in all their fat little confusion, or other members of the chauvin family...:-] (through some cross-reference, I stumbled into the following...presented as a public service for those who were about to wash their hands...first door on your right, and put the seat down after yourself!) Most animals depend on elaborate behaviour patterns to bring the male and female and their gametes together at the appropriate time, rather than using the seemingly more certain processes of asexual reproduction, virgin birth, hermaphroditic self-fertilization, or male parasitism. [what fun! I find it delightful that the Encyclopedia Britiannica prefers virgin birth, hermaphrodites, or male parasites to ordinary sexual practices...and here I thought they would be conservative...] well, that about does it. I still didn't find out the recommended way of serving a male chauvinist pig, though. Maybe I should check with Betty Crocker? Or I can dream about warming up the pit and slow roasting them for a day or so...now that makes fingerlicking good barbeque...add some biscuits and redeye gravy, maybe some corn on the cob...with coffee and pecan pie for dessert? a gourmand's delight...I'll bet they're serving it up right now at the Sweating Pig Tavern! [ah, this has been such fun. but let me add one more, a mere grace note...] bull in animal husbandry, the mature, uncastrated male of domesticated cattle (q.v.). [I hope this doesn't remind you of that beast or his fabled product...] thank you, and good reading! tink