>>> Item number 14340 from WRITERS LOG9306E --- (101 records) ---- <<< Date: Tue, 29 Jun 1993 17:00:03 JST Reply-To: WRITERS Sender: WRITERS From: Mike Barker Subject: Why This Fury...? I've been holding on to this for a while, but perhaps it fits now. [WARNING - I'm shaking as I write this, so it may not make a whole lot of sense. Further, I make reference to sex, so some of you may want to skip ahead...] Quite a while ago (when we were helping Jane with porno, I think), someone mentioned that certain situations (violence, perhaps) seemed to spark a fury, a deep-down hatred. I've just watched "The Accused" - movie about gang rape where they end up prosecuting the observers for criminal solicitation. Anyway, very early on, I noticed my normal reaction - anger that tears, that makes me want to pace, to beat those who participate, those who somehow feel that this kind of sickness is defensible in any way, etc. Ordinarily I change channels, go in the other room and read, or do something to avoid the fury. But tonight I decided to stick it out, to make myself watch - partly because I know that I'm totally ineffective as long as all I do is erupt in anger, and partly to see what the current U.S. fictional stance is on these - how the heck are they gonna resolve it now. Congrats - you all have moved forward from the times when the resolution would have been having the victim give up and lose. But I'm left with the seething, writhing sick anger inside. I want to play Clint Eastwood or the guy with the REVENGE movies and blow those suckers away. Then I want to sit down and cry for what people do to each other. Then, maybe, I'll spend a year or two helping the victim try to come to terms with her own life. And spend a while campaigning for enforced surveillance cameras in bars and other places where this kind of tragedy is likely to happen, along with other major over-reactions that I might have second thoughts about in saner times... I know the blasted thing is a movie, not true, but that fury... Where does it come from? I can watch slasher flicks, war flicks, most horror and SF, and other stuff like that without losing track of the fictional aspect, without losing control of my emotions. But bounce a woman or child around, pressure them mentally, physically, emotionally, or in some other way - and I'm ready to jump on my white horse and start charging. I'm talking serious adrenaline boost here folks, which isn't particularly healthy emotionally, mentally, or physically. [added during review before sending: Incidentally, I do recognize the sexism inherent in this - I am much more likely to jump to the defense of a woman than a man, although I think the real distinguishing mark is relative weakness. I.e., lean on someone who seems incapable of defending themselves and I'm tensing up, getting ready to counterattack... not too unlike my reaction to people who make the mistake of leaning on me for too long, come to think of it.] Does it make sense to say I scare myself when I get like this? I mean, I'm far too likely to wade into a situation without restraints at this point, and really do some kind of damage. There's an angry beast ready to protect the weak somewhere inside, and frankly, even when it just gets a little stirred up, it frightens me. The problem is that some of the things other people seem able to accept make that beast restless.. and I don't want to be around if it lets loose sometime... Why this fury? And should I walk away early to tame the beast, or let it loose, with all the dangers of mistaken savaging? Why isn't there at least one spectator who isn't passive or cooperative, who won't turn his head and walk away? You know, that's part of what makes me so furious about this kind of thing - the bystanders who somehow can walk away, who can turn their eyes and ears away, who can stand by and let something like this happen without even trying. Are they so afraid for their lives, or their time, or something? How can they be calm, how can they hold back the beast in them? I'm not sure if this is the appropriate forum for this, and I'm not sure I can make sensible comments about it anyway, but, for what it's worth, there's a vein open, friends, and the blood is pumping out... Dammit, how can we let this kind of thing continue? All it really takes is one - just one - person standing up and saying NO!!! Back it up with emergency alarms - cripes, friend, hit the fire alarm and you'll have more people there in a hurry than you ever wanted. Who cares if you get charged with turning in a false alarm? Well, I'm starting to babble about technical solutions and other stuff, so I'll shut up. Maybe I'll write a story... But why do I get furious - and why don't more people? [added next day: I stayed up well past my usual collapse, and still didn't sleep well. Then I wake up still angry! There really are people around who watch this kind of stuff for amusement?] mike