Maintaining “story” behind ego requires tons of mental habits, obsessions

story with being mocked, then turns out just crazy person

when there is person behind some slightly annoying thing, intolerable

8:36

Examples of happiness and ego at odds

CLT WANTS to be family doctor/just MD, but feels guilty when doing it

Me wanting small company, but feeling that makes “a nobody”

Friend knowing that deserve a vacation/weekend, but feel guilty taking it

14:00

Know that agreeing to condition will make happiest, but feel can’t “give in” Objectivity of interpretation suffers enrmously

example with mom’s interpretation of grandma’s comment

“if it were this way, I’d be a failure -- so it must not be!”

difficult to explore for fear of being “A failure”

j-machine

Identification of self with Ideas

Distortion of objectivity

Professional lives damaged

17:35