Well, I finally found something for the big empty space lacking in anything weird, so here it is. Maybe it predates Murphy's Law etc. I hope you like it, since I think it's cute and my dad found it in his old papers (from when he was in college, I think) where he'd cited it for something. Why not? I don't have anything else to put here ^^;;

Ever since the first scientific experiment, men have been plagued by the unceasing antagonism of Nature. Only his patience, adaptability and forbearance have permitted the scientist to learn a few minor facts about the operation of the universe.

We still do not really know why should this be so. It's only natural that Nature should be logical and neat--but it isn't, and the best teacher of all, Experience, turns out to be just the gradual acceptance of Nature's pigheadedness.

Over the years a series of laws have evolved. The laws actually represent a distillation of experience of thousands of experiments, but (until Dr. Finagle came along) they were never recorded for the study of our profession because they had no derivation--no proof. They are true because they have always been true. Look into your own experience and see if this is not so.

We are grateful to John W. Campbell, editor of Astounding Science Fiction, for bringing this work to our attention, and to the many readers of that magazine who collected and contributed samples so that others might share their experience.

On Experiments: The first laws are the only ones dignigied by number. Note the beauty and simplicity of the First Law. Also note that the remaining three laws refer to men's reactions to Nature, not Nature itself.

• First Law: If anything can go wrong in an experiment, it will.
• Second Law: No matter what result is anticipated, there is always someone who is willing to fake it.
• Third Law: No matter what the result, there is always someone eager to misinterpret it.
• Fourth Law: No matter what occurs, there is always someone who believes it happened according to his pet theory.
• The Law of the Too Solid Goof: In any collection of data, the figure that is most obviously correct--beyond all need of checking--is the mistake.
  • Corollary I: No one whom you ask for help will see it either.
  • Corollary II: Everyone who stops by with unsought advice will see it immediately.

1. Experiments must be reproducible--they should all fail in the same way.
2. First draw your curves--the plot the readings. Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.
3. A record of data is useful--it indicates you've been working.
4. To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
5. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
6. Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.
7. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work out. (This open door policy is also known as the Rule of the Way Out)/

Laws of Revision: Often lumped into the Now They Tell Us Law.

• First Law: Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after--and only after--the plans are complete.
  • Corollary I: In simple cases, where one obvious right way is opposed to one obvious wrong way, it is often wiser to choose the wrong way right off. This is one step ahead of choosing the right way, which turns out to be a wrong way, which has to become a right way.
• Second Law: The more innocuous the revision appears to be at first, the further its influence will extend and more plans will have to be redrawn.
• Third Law: If when the completion of a design is imminent, field dimensions are finally supplied as they actually are--instead of as they were meant to be--it is always simpler to start over.
• Fourth Law: Even if it is impossible to assemble a part incorrectly, still a way will be found to do it wrong.
  • Corollary I: It is usually impractical to worry before-hand about interferences--if you have none, someone will make one for you.

• Corollary I: Under the same conditions, if any minor dimensions are given to 1/16 of an inch, they cannot be totaled at all.
• Corollary II: The correct total will be self-evident at 9:01 Monday morning.
• Deliveries that normally take one day will take five when you are waiting.
• When adjusting (or drawing or computing, etc.) remember that the eye of the chief inspector (engineer, draftsman, etc.) is more accurate than the finest instrument.
• After adding two weeks to a schedule of unexpected delays, add two weeks for the unexpected unexpected delays.
• In any problem if you find yourself doing an unending amount of work, the answer may be obtained by inspection.

Finagle's Motto: Smile--tomorrow it will be worse.

From IRE Student Quarterly
September, 1958