1.
A cyberchimp, I.
Hanging from my tail I type.
Toes get stuck in nose!
2.
"Old Hairy Toes" they
Call me. I can count to three.
My vote's for Clinton.
3.
Keep looking upwards;
Get birdshit in eyes. Look down;
Get birdshit down neck.
4.
Have some bananas;
Edible phallic symbols.
We chimps prefer nuts.
5.
Winter is coming.
It's Christmas for me--frozen
hell for the homeless.
6.
I look at Mama.
Thought she'll be young forever.
She won't die, will she?
7.
Paul from Nashville here
Reporting the election
Oops, it's one day off
8.
Used haiku Wednesday
In improv comic bar game
Was worshipped by all
9.
SNL again
Brought back Chris Rock to host it
Age don't make funny
10.
Halloween is past
Mom bought crappy candy; yup
Looks like my dessert
11.
Bill or Bob wins vote
With those headlines I ask you
Why should I bother
12.
Joystick's broke, girlfriend
Left me because I'm a jerk
Seinfeld still has show
13.
They Might Be Giants
Have new album out last month
Factory Showroom
14.
Nashville has Oilers
Big football team comes here soon
Bye bye small business
15.
Make way for Oilers
Metro gave you ninety days
Here, have a Mentos
16.
Second stadium
Built on the bad side of town
Why build another?
17.
Have psychology
Project due in just three days
Man, I'm a slacker
18.
Big-mouth Tarzan types
Make hype. Wise old chimps make fire,
Rubbing Democrats.
19.
Old Hairy Toes says,
"You can't groom politicians.
The fleas just slide off."
20.
November sixth, yup
Clinton won over Bob Dole
Democrats win, yup
21.
Problem with haiku:
In the south, "shower" is one
Syllable said "shaaaaaa"
22.
Did you ever think
Capitol Hill would end up
In its current state?
23.
Paul tells mom of this
Tries to recite something wrote
Months back about SPAM
24.
Here in the treetops
Chimpanzees chatter. Must be
Negotiating.
25.
On the Internet
All are equal; 'cept maybe
Chimpanzees cuter.
26.
They kicked this chimp hard
Up the bum. He thanked them. A
"Parfait gentlemonk!"
27.
I am sleeping when
we look in each others' eyes.
I am woken up.
28.
We are more than mere
flesh-covered skulls of gleaming
human perfection
29.
Clinton says it's wrong
to hate your fellow human
unless he says so.
30.
Voting machines rest.
Were they used to pick the best?
What, you feel unrest?
31.
Bosnia, Zaire,
Human life is not held dear.
We kill slower here.
32.
Companies downsize
To stay alive, they advise.
Exec rewards rise.
33.
Stars are in the sky
The moon is shimmering high
Very, very dark
34.
Picard and Riker
Future sailors on the prowl
Set phasers for fun!
35.
Some anthropoid apes
Have red buttocks. Some humans
Have red noses. So?
36.
Love your monkey friends.
No discrimination here;
Kiss a Christmas chimp.
37.
"Ick, ick, ick, ook, oook!
Kick my ass and I'll kick yours."
Jungle serenade.
Last modified: Thu Mar 20 11:24:21 GMT-0400 1997