SPAM Haiku 10501-10600

Move backwards to Numbers 10401-10500.

10501.
There's this one rock band
Still trying to sell CDs
Their name is Pearl Spam

--Rhiannon, LadySomnus@aol.com

10502.
Rub SPAM on your skin
Secret of the Orient
The end to wrinkles

--Rhiannon, LadySomnus@aol.com

10503.
SPAM once had a dream
Upon the cloud of all meat
Chicken took first place

--Ryan the Beeky, rwkspecial@aol.com

10504.
SPAM at U of U.
Is that all there is for lunch?
Suicide today!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10505.
I should be working!
The computer looks like SPAM.
What is wrong with me?

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10506.
All I do all day
Is listen to Rome and write
Spamku poetry.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10507.
Smoker's lung tissue
lost its healthy pink firmness.
He needs a SPAMplant.

--Jim Rugh, jrugh@tmh.tmc.edu

10508.
To a poor leper
SPAM tastes much better than what
He is used to. SKIN!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10509.
Would you like some SPAM?
No thanks--I'll just have ground flesh.
They are both the same!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10510.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM,
I sent one and now can't stop
Making spam haiku!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10511.
Invisible, pink.
In unicorn communion
Atheists eat SPAM.

--Xphobe, nogods@this.address

10512.
All night long I dream
Of the King's blue canned pink feast!
Now, morning sickness!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10513.
Menendez brothers.
You thought they used a shotgun.
Really they used SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10514.
Grocery shelf fight.
Proud SPAM assured of glory.
Treet plots its revenge.

--Junkyard God

10515.
The can cracks open...
Meaty vapors tease the nose...
Hungry mouth waters.

--Junkyard God

10516.
Modern lumberjacks
eat healthy. They won't touch SPAM.
Weep for the forest.

--Junkyard God

10517.
Tuna salad? No.
Mix mayo and SPAM. Tastes good
and saves a dolphin.

--Junkyard God

10518.
I like SPAM haiku.
Tickles the mind, warms the heart,
and churns the stomach.

--Junkyard God

10519.
Hicks in Iowa
wouldn't know good food if it
came in a blue can.

--Anonymous

10520.
SPAM home delivered:
Barnicle's/George Carlin's gags
Wrapped in newspaper.

--Drunk or What?

10521.
Barnicles cling on
To hulls of rotted vessels
And cannot eat SPAM

--Drunk or What?

10522.
Hey there working man!
Just how do you like your SPAM?
Wrapped in newspaper?

--Global Dysfunction

10523.
Steve Worthem likes SPAM
Eats it--that misguided gent
From San Francisco

--Anonymous

10524.
Lucky street people.
The Hormelless without SPAM.
Not too redundant.

--Lee Malone, leemalone@aol.com

10525.
Dark secret of SPAM.
It need not be in a can.
Maggots won't touch it.

--Junkyard God

10526.
Dark secret of SPAM.
With time, it gains more power.
Patiently, it waits.

--Junkyard God

10527.
Dark secret of SPAM.
A pink horde in blue armor.
The many are one.

--Junkyard God

10528.
Dark secret of SPAM.
Sing its praise cyberaddicts!
Behold the new GOD!

--Junkyard God

10529.
Dark secret of SPAM.
The shredded slimy carnage
will see its revenge.

--Junkyard God

10530.
Dark secret of SPAM.
You will keep it forever--
Arterial plaques.

--Junkyard God

10531.
Dark secret of SPAM.
I count fingers and obsess.
Yes, my love...my muse.

--Junkyard God

10532.
Public school lunchroom.
Fast and furious they fly.
A Hormel food fight.

--Dave Mottern, davidm@voicenet.com

10533.
glowing in mystique
heavenly rectangular
is it merely food?

--Victoria, bookworm@iglou.com

10534.
Jesus ate his SPAM
DAD!!!!! You forsook me.....prefer
Crucifixion,....PLEASE!

--Pressedham Don`tnap, docyoga@aol.com

10535.
Christ asked for change and
bought can of SPAM...then drove meat
merchant from temple.

--Pressedham Don`tnap, docyoga@aol.com

10536.
Monica's best dress
Dripping porcine emission
Not semen, but SPAM

--Si vas para Chile, TeRuego@viajero

10537.
Strangers in the night
Exchanging SPAM ku, buh, buh
buh, buh... sounds so wrong.

--blue spam, none

10538.
Ahem, I am Sam.
Do you like green eggs and SPAM?
No, Fuck Off and Die.

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

10539.
Monica L's dress
Is tested by F.B.I.
Found to have dried SPAM

--odelphi@interserv.com

10540.
Soirée in Office
Clinton denies having sex
Just having SPAM lunch

--odelphi@interserv.com

10541.
I'm broke. Lost my job.
The loathesome cube mocks my pride.
Shut up! Just SHUT UP!

--Junkyard God

10542.
Only thing that could
Wake Lazarus from his death
Frying SPAM wafting

--Doktor Jeep, cheetah@fertechnology.com

10543.
Andrew Kennedy
Feeds his pet iguana SPAM.
It's true I tell you!

--Anonymous

10544.
Oh pathetic pork
Mashed into a muddy loaf
I squeal with delight

--Kevin Walker, magnison@aol.com

10545.
the taut fleshy cube
glistens from the congealed glaze
a wealth of pink gold

--Kevin Walker, magnison@aol.com

10546.
The sickly sweet smell
It's like candy coated barf
Great chunks of vomit?

--Anonymous

10547.
Thou totest it home
It bringeth thou to thine knees
The Trojan Horse wins

--Kevin Walker, Maginson@aol.com

10548.
The sow has cleft foot
The SPAM loaf has an odd gel
Give me the pig trough

--Kevin Walker, Maginson@aol.com

10549.
"Cold cuts anyone"?
the mortician asked kindly.
"Sure! Just bury SPAM."

--Kevin Walker, Magnison@aol.com

10550.
Eat some SPAM today
And by this time in twelve years
It will pass through you

--Uncle Jay

10551.
The number of cans
Directly proportional
To number of deaths

--Uncle Jay

10552.
Pigs migrate westward
Genetic mass exodus
Hormel by the sea

--Uncle Jay

10553.
Baby pink and smooth
Yet at birth, covered in gel
Kinda looks like SPAM

--Uncle Jay

10554.
Alternative band
With their huge new hit "Gel Bait"
The Smashing SPAMcans

--Uncle Jay

10555.
Their last big single
"Some Pretty Awful Meat, yeah"
Got some great reviews

--Uncle Jay

10556.
We held a survey
"You have a choice: death or SPAM"
Death won. No surprise.

--Uncle Jay

10557.
What is SPAM made of?
4 out of 5 vets agree
People should not know.

--Uncle Jay

10558.
Click on can with mouse
Can opens and crap comes out
Interactive SPAM

--Uncle Jay

10559.
Liposuction waste
Hormel's contract with surgeons
You eat what you are

--Uncle Jay

10560.
"Look, mommy, roadkill."
"Yes, honey, it's a dead pig."
Hormel has pork-trak.

--Uncle Jay

10561.
Cinderella cried
At the ball she lost her SPAM
Prince Charming ate it

--Uncle Jay

10562.
Sleeping Beauty tried
She ate SPAM and fell asleep
Breath chased away Prince

--Uncle Jay

10563.
Stephen King's new book
Pink evil from a blue can
Pure horror: The SPAM.

--Uncle Jay

10564.
Coward. Just try some.
If Marines can drink urine,
Why can't you eat SPAM?

--Uncle Jay

10565.
Canned pork and coitus
By-products and intercourse
Happy sex with meat

--Uncle Jay

10566.
Here is what's in it
Oil, lard, fat, grease, shortening, gel
And perhaps some pork

--Uncle Jay

10567.
Stains on my new tie
I eat SPAM vigorously
Grease and drool meet silk

--Uncle Jay

10568.
Pure love on the 'net
HTML. SPAM haiku
We're dying to meat

--Uncle Jay

10569.
SPAM's my second choice
If I'm not eating Pork Brains
I eat pig penis

--Uncle Jay

10570.
New Disney cartoon
Snow White and the Seven SPAMs
Hero Prince Hormel

--Uncle Jay

10571.
Dwarves Pinkie Piggy
Meaty Morbid Mystery
Fatty Flatulence

--Uncle Jay

10572.
Shuttle astronauts
Require new space-age foodstuffs
Look to classic cube

--Uncle Jay

10573.
Children craft the chant
"Greasy, grimy gopher guts"
In response to SPAM

--Uncle Jay

10574.
New deodorant
Hormel's 3-ounce SPAM Clear Gel
Refreshing pork scent

--Uncle Jay

10575.
Hansel and Gretel
Were accosted by Grandma
And forced to eat SPAM

--Uncle Jay

10576.
Hansel and Gretel
Threw Grandma in the oven
And threw SPAM away

--Uncle Jay

10577.
"Honey, what's that smell?"
"It's my new cervical cap.
Want to taste a piece?"

--Uncle Jay

10578.
A large can of food
With such little nourishment
I chew for nothing

--Uncle Jay

10579.
Inspector Clouseau
Returns to investigate
Who stole SPAM's flavor?

--Uncle Jay

10580.
Pink lips spewing SPAM
Marbled meat mastication
I alliter-ate

--Uncle Jay

10581.
Tasty pieces leak
Fat, gel, and oil onto floor
Thank you, gravity

--Uncle Jay

10582.
Grind up little pigs
And their really fat parents
Porcine. Obscene. SPAM

--Uncle Jay

10583.
Marvin "Hormel" Gaye
"I heard it through the SPAMvine"
Rumors and murder

--Uncle Jay

10584.
Unsatisfying
SPAM is also obnoxious
And illogical

--Uncle Jay

10585.
I/We SPAM. It SPAMs.
They SPAMmed. Or is it They SPUM?
Pork conjugation.

--Uncle Jay

10586.
I heated SPAM bricks
All the fat melted away
Thimble-sized dinner

--Uncle Jay

10587.
Scaring away wolves
It's Little Red Riding SPAM
Pink eyes and blue hair

--Uncle Jay

10588.
"Microscopic bits
Of meat were found inside SPAM.
Al Smith, CNN."

--Uncle Jay

10589.
Eat it with your mouth
Hurl it with your diaphragm
Flush it with your hand

--Uncle Jay

10590.
Was fine, she. 'Twas mine.
Among thine pines, gelled brine. Ah,
To dine on fine swine.

--Uncle Jay

10591.
HAL is slowing down
"It's highly irregular
Dave, don't feed me SPAM"

--Uncle Jay

10592.
My best recipe:
Heat SPAM chunks. Liquefy some.
I eat with a spork.

--Uncle Jay

10593.
In my mouth SPAM waits
I chew, wretch, and swallow hard
I leave to buy more

--Uncle Jay

10594.
My dad made SPAM once.
He put pineapple on it.
Very tasty treat!

--Cher

10595.
SPAM is a fun food!
I like to open the can
and watch the stuff ooze.

--Cher

10596.
What is lowfat SPAM?
Is there really such a thing?
I think it's all shit.

--Cher

10597.
Addicted, like you,
to writing a SPAM haiku.
NEED BETTER HOBBY!

--Cher

10598.
SPAM on the counter
Collie kleptomaniac
Big poop in back yard

--Fettphile, Fettphile@aol.com

10599.
Twist on yuppie phrase
Eat SPAM and "do" lunch real soon
A porcelain meeting

--Cholesterol 300

10600.
Easy midnight snack
SPAM: cure for late night munchies
Gut pains at sunrise

--Cholesterol 300