SPAM Haiku 11701-11800

Move backwards to Numbers 11601-11700.

11701.
"Dorchestah kneads Spem"
Mumbles the Boston mayor
Or something like that..

--Hotline Bobby, rwright@hotmail.com

11702.
Mmmm, SPAM and crackers
Crackers do eat the most SPAM
Wonder why that is?

--2B or X 2B, Avon Md.

11703.
SPAMku is dying
A very slow, painful death--
Let me help you out?

--Jess Meridith

11704.
Submit to SPAMku
the God of everything pink
and typing in tongues.

--2B or X 2B, Avon Md.

11705.
Non absorbent SPAM
Makes great reusable wipes
For ifs, ands, or butts

--Granny Ragg, Lake Sunapee Nh

11706.
Used to be winsome
Had the cutest bald taco
Made with SPAM of course

--Granny Ragg, Lake Sunapee Nh

11707.
Now my bald taco
Sags like a SPAMchilada
And smells like one too!

--Granny Ragg, Lake Sunapee Nh

11708.
But Jim and old Bill
Go down south of pink border
They're that kind of guy

--Granny Ragg, Lake Sunapee Nh

11709.
Blue can of lugis
Hawked up from TB'd lung lobes--
Momma calls it SPAM.

--Princess Phlegm , aka Di

11710.
At my autopsy
The folks round the table screamed
SPAM! and left the room.

--Porky , That's all folks!

11711.
SPAM tapioca
Colorful vomit pudding
You are now expelled!

--SPAMevil CANevil, drad derring doe

11712.
Spamglish spoken here
We will accept your food stamps
How much $pam you got?

--Capt. SPAMerica, Only in the USA

11713.
"Cross you legs KT
Your SPAM taco is showing!"
No fast food was this.

--Gourmet Tacos

11714.
New York SPAM City
Wall to wall freaking dildos
Confusion, chaos

--NY Bagbites, soug@applenet.com

11715.
Doctor Schlesinger
Once dated Willie Clinton--
Is his SPAM kosher?

--Judy Krantz, heyjude@telnet.com

11716.
When I go to sleep
I count the little cute hams
Cause there's pork in SPAM

--Joseph, wolgangert@usa.net

11717.
Jack Kevorkian
Should die from a lethal dose
Of liquified SPAM

--Government approves of what, the mad doc is doing. $aves money

11718.
Misty soft voices
Drift by my hospital room
Mumbling..."She ate SPAM."

--Freely Feely

11719.
Is a pink guy next?
Chewing SPAM while working out.
Cry baby Tyson.

--Gerry Aguerlita, gera@mindnet.com

11720.
Python's of Monty,
Loud phartz in my direction.
I'm not a Frenchman!

--Sterling Silva, Locojoker1@aol.com

11721.
I sat on my SPAM
Brooding...trying to hatch it.
Naked, lonely, wet.

--Robert E. Lee

11722.
SPAM is a square meal
When you chop off the excess--
Not so for pasta!

--Roberta E. Lee

11723.
Give SPAM a pet name.
Talk to it, bathe it, stroke it
We do pet eats but....

--Roberta E. Leer, We don't eat pets.

11724.
SPAM flavored crack jums--
Addiction's screaming answer.
What was the question?

--Roberta E. Leery

11725.
The baby's diaper
Smelling up the parking lot--
Hmmmm, I need more SPAM.

--Awilda Cruz-Delgadon't, A-wild-a

11726.
Premier Khruschev said
that the Red Army used to
eat a lot of SPAM.

--dewey roy

11727.
O Communion
Sweet wine and wafers and SPAM
The liver of Christ

--reverend SPAM

11728.
it once was my cat
now, alas my cat is gone
her tomb a small can

--Spamicus

11729.
Dream persecutions;
Nightmares, hallucinations--
Having eaten SPAM.

--Tofu Pup, shaw@prodigy.com

11730.
Trout tail...pool eddies
Little globes of The Pink Meat
Tempting tasy gems

--Spinner Man, trout in the pan (_*<'}(((((><_)====::

11731.
Passionate for meat
Growling orders "Waitress now!"
*scowl*....She serves me SPAM.

--Bob's Diner, Anonymous Anonymous

11732.
Spamicule meat flecks
Cling to my plate and I smile,
But no one smiles back.

--Jasipoo P.

11733.
Until college days
I prayed never to SPAM snack.
Unanswered requests.

--Jasipoo P.

11734.
My bow string broken.
No beautiful music now--
My tie fell in SPAM.

--G27, 53D

11735.
Cold, frosted glasses
Served with my warm SPAM dinner
Keep me from seeing.

--G27, 53D

11736.
Disgusting ain't it?
Lying chunks of phoney meat--
Bubba Bill and SPAM.

--Ollie? Yes Stanley

11737.
If SPAM were alive
Conscious of its existence
Would SPAM kill itself?

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11738.
The enlightened pig
Does not fear the cold blue can
SPAM is part of life

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11739.
A Thanksgiving SPAM
Is much cheaper than turkey
But harder to stuff.

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11740.
crisp blue mountain air
early morning deep blue lake
shock! blue can floats by

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11741.
Said a pork chop once
"Would you love me were I SPAM?"
Chef chokes, turns away.

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11742.
In SPAM universe
simple static model found:
SPAM taste counters mass.

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11743.
Brave kitchen sentry
One solitary SPAM can
Cabinet soldier

--Queeine The Nurse

11744.
If nobody heard
When you farted in the woods,
Would it still smell bad?

--Queeine The Nurse

11745.
I speak to my SPAM
In tongues, hawgmaws, and Gaelic
It answers me thus........................!

--Sean Del Ecatessen

11746.
The pink holy grail,
Well within my humble grasp--
Water closet cold.

--Thumonda Skales, sveedish vun yak? bjork-bjork!

11747.
I had SPAM for lunch.
Happiness fills prayer gods--
She'll need us anon.

--G27, D53

11748.
To poop or to puke?
Run the gauntlet fleet footed--
SPAM is divisive.

-- Mark Andrews

11749.
Indians question--
Signals of smoke give the clues.
"Your-SPAM-is-burning!"

--Dianna the squaw, Eastie!

11750.
The nights that say Knee,
Leg pit fetishist's stalking--
Soles toe the arch heels.

--SPAMmish Gibe

11751.
'Flicted by SPAMku
Is that a true handicap?
A SPAMku-ku-ism?

--I. B. Flicted, u2virgingal@oddnet.come

11752.
Lingering fingers
Of hands in her underwear
Now handle my SPAM.

--Big Joe's Diner, Snapper soup

11753.
Bold spankers of SPAM
Hand maidens of the hot dog--
You're all welcome here.

--Knights of the Crust, Purveyors of the goo in waiting

11754.
The nights that say "nee!"
All feel Maid Marion free
But pay for her SPAM.

--Knights of the Crust, Purveyors of the goo in waiting

11755.
From the poor folk come
SPAM like a wildflower is
Somewhere else a weed

--Herbie D. Furby, www.maths.tcd.ie/~belle/haiku.html

11756.
Greasy, saline meat
Legpit drool and toe jam stool
Royalty......... "KING SPAM"!

--Tamus the Rhymer, Gad save the Queen!

11757.
Most powerful SPAM
The food chain's tightest bound link
Ten servings daily

--Fibber Mc Gee, &mollie@healthnet.com

11758.
SPAM sits down to lunch
On the john in the toilet
It keeps me going

--K.T. Phartsum, Jonniesmellsum@night.com

11759.
Partaking of SPAM
Promotes diarrhea breath
Fluxing SPAM lunchmeat

--Charlie Hossman, shins@spaz.com

11760.
SPAM in pipe tobac
Humidicant supremo
A fart in your pipe

--Monkey Chunkies

11761.
Spamenema soup
A delightful yuppie treat
Climbing the ladder

--Yuppies Are;, The cream of the crap!

11762.
two eyes protruding
from damp darkness of cavern
they aren't eyes, but SPAM

--Upchuck & Amiee

11763.
wind in Amiee's hair
nothing in comparison:
Amiee eating SPAM

--Anonymous

11764.
Rock and roll ocean
Seas of my bowels kick box--
Eight, nine, SPAM....YOU'RE OUT!

--Ray Richard

11765.
Boring my SPAMku
Computer worms tunneling
They don't pay the tolls

--Herkimer Meridith, Danvers Rte 114

11766.
Hardly a staple
SPAM can't hold it together
My hat band does that

--Moi Tai Spam Fighter

11767.
SPAM, Spem, Spim, Spom, Spam
It's not hard to spot the SPAM
Felt markers work fine

--Tracey Papers

11768.
My name is "Jimbo"
And I'm a SPAMaholic
Thirteenth stepping you

--JIMBOBO

11769.
oh spamo spamo
they keep you in the can-o
just where i am now

--unclek

11770.
Jesse Ventura
Bald SPAM on a stick....Fargo--
But not far enough

--Brain Booty, Into the woodchipper

11771.
SPAM freckled face girl
God bless me? Thank you so much.
Where is happy dog?

--Fun Duck, Sunless Day

11772.
Tear off a phat piece
Cho's SPAMku toilet tissue
Make your butt happy

--New Cho Product, Happy Butt Toilet Tissue

11773.
Sunrise sparkling pond
Where campers never wander
There are no SPAM cans

--Echo echo

11774.
How do you do it
With Dirt Devil power SPAM
Suck that GD much?

--Jessica Bigbutt Lindsey, I ß Spam 2 much!

11775.
Having spent time there
And you know its location
Pink SPAM is nether

--Smiling Dog, Woof! Woof! pee

11776.
SPAMation putty
Look at it dance like Jacko
Beware cocktail franks

--Fun Duck, hahahaha quack!

11777.
Water wheel resting;
Someone used all the water--
Yes SPAM is salty.

--Jacques Benimbol

11778.
Under night's cover
I weenie walk to my stash--
But it's not that far.

--Weenie Walker, Jwalker@prodnet.come

11779.
Three story sides; yes
There's yours, the bull, and the truth--
Six sided is SPAM.

--Smiling Lizzard

11780.
Pussified pink conch
Slug of malformed afterbirth
Presidential stuff

--Pink Pointer

11781.
Speaking Clintonese
Hold breath after eating SPAM
Place mike near butt hole

--Pink Pointer, Lips that do not move

11782.
Bible toting Bill
The Anti-Christ a Baptist--
SPAM snot devilled ham.

--Pink Pointer, Bill practices safe sax?

11783.
The SPAM becomes her
A sexual bulimic--
Bent on mattress-cide.

--G27, D53

11784.
Reduction impasse
Plateaux deadly hovering--
SPAM is my sponsor.

--Oinkers A. Weigh, Just for today

11785.
Celibatory--
Eating Jell-O and not SPAM
Protein martyrdom

--Martyrdumb, Powerless@overeating.anything

11786.
All of the SPAMku
In alphabet soup letters--
Are turning to crap.

--Campbell Zoop

11787.
Goop still on my tongue
Her SPAM still warm in distress--
Or in dem bloomers.

--Grinchly Smutheringill, yUK@yUK.com

11788.
Mary Holt hot SPAM
For her good buddy Larry--
Now there's a real friend.

--Not Larry/Not Mary

11789.
The SPAM hit a chord
in my life. Thus, I join the
hollow, empty men.

--J. Alfred Prufrock, where are you?

11790.
Christmas gift supreme
Time enough to digest all
12,000 SPAMku

--Gimme Gimmie

11791.
Riverlets of tears
Sadness hit the floor and bounced
SPAM the dog just laughed

--Jack Donahue

11792.
I sigh SEMPER FI
And look back on days of SPAM--
We won the war but.

--Big AL

11793.
Frantic lipid lust
Arteriosclerosis
Blood flow slows then stops

--Charles Johnston, csjohnston@person.net

11794.
Tin chastity belt,
unlock your treasure, give me
your moist pink manna.

--kevin_dooley@peoplesoft.com

11795.
All good French chefs know
Nothing makes a cassoulet
Sing like SPAM confit.

--Philip Welsh, fishie_pie@hotmail.com

11796.
SPAM, the dusty tin
Sitting on the cupboard shelf
I will never eat

--Christina Walker

11797.
My Grandmother eats
delightful SPAM sandwiches--
"meat" nestled in toast.

--Christina Walker

11798.
SPAM is really swell
It has such a grotesque smell
Can gag a maggot

--Lon Britton, VALTRE7@aol.com

11799.
No SPAMo no cry
Can always have de hot dog
No SPAMo I die

--SPAM O' Marley, De Blunt (__{__}____}}}}~~~~

11800.
SPAM be de ting man,
I used to keep me alive--
No SPAM boy I die.

--Spamo Marley, No woman no cry