SPAM Haiku 12001-12100

Move backwards to Numbers 11901-12000.


12001.
Deliver flesh block
Into this cold cruel world
With forkceps and knife
--Katie and Pat, Katherine.Cowan@clorox.com

12002.
Horsemeat engelee
Slips out from its briney bath
With a grotesque belch

--Katie and Pat, Katherine.Cowan@clorox.com

12003.
Another Christmas
Who's going to carve the SPAM?
Who's got the Rolaids?

--Big Tim, Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas!

12004.
Fledglings of SPAMku
Lined up like ducks in a row
For the great John Cho.

--Happy New Year!, To you all!

12005.
SPAM is my morphine--
Curls round my tongue and loves me
Inside out and down.

--Herbie D. Wann

12006.
Kentucky Kristmas
Weeell Doggie! We got's some SPAM
Blue grass and pink SPAM

--Kentucky Kenny

12007.
SPAM under feather
Ostrich butt drips in the sun
Birds relish pink SPAM

--Aussie Flossie

12008.
Rocking rolling SPAM
Meat effigies of Dick Clark
We are all winners

--Annette Ova Yu, headnet@prod.net

12009.
Time to quit SPAMku
Renting rooms in my small mind
To in and outlaws

--Slop D.Puppy, toddle the kids

12010.
American twits
Have their heads up their fat butts--
Ahhh the taste of SPAM.

--yUK yUK Klinton

12011.
Taste is where it's at
Pathetic SPAMericans--
Clinton ha ha ha!

--yUK yUK Klinton#2, Jeanie McIntosh

12012.
Life after SPAMku
Pristine cloudless sky of pink
Read the damned label

--Butchie Brown, MCI Somewhere

12013.
SPAM greases the skids
To the ER or the morgue--
Beware of the hawg.

--Walter Byrd, wb@membersspire.com

12014.
Bill nominated
As the year's SPAM by-product--
Century's correct.

--Capt. SPAMerica says:, Bill's Swill!

12015.
Hillary Clinton
In SPAMerica's toilet--
Just another turd.

--Capt. SPAMerica, Bumrush 'em and flush 'em

12016.
A Happy New Year
Is one that is Clintonless--
Have a SPAMku Year!

--DC no AC! Si!

12017.
Keep it Mr. Jim,
Bo J's lips never smacked SPAM--
Can't integrate that.

--JJ

12018.
SPAM no longer bites.
Found the pig teeth in my lunch--
Or did they find me?

--Lloyd Teraround, lloyd@partners.com

12019.
SPAM Lite on counter
Ripped open in excitement
Empty can stares up!

--Marky Rebel, aledoux@merrimack.edu

12020.
So disillusioned
"SPAM comes from pigs," Mother says
I don't believe her

--Marky Rebel, aledoux@merrimack.edu

12021.
World War III explodes
Everything is laid to waste
Except me and SPAM

--Marky Rebel, aledoux@merrimack.edu

12022.
Slimy liquid drops
On my tongue, gelatin flops
Past my uvula

--Jed, bigbum@home.com

12023.
During the next year
I'll do no SPAM nor SPAMku--
Well, very little.

--New Year's Resolution #1, Pasta Rasta

12024.
digestion is lost
within the confines of my
intestinal tract

--kimbijen

12025.
Flightless dodo bird
SPAM of the fine feathered world
SPAM is endangered

--Cowie Harr

12026.
Out of sheer boredom
I DNA tested SPAM--
It matched Bill Clinton's.

--Wheezle Bit

12027.
We can't forgive Bill.
He believes we're Arky dumb--
And my friends, we are.

--Nothing To Forgive

12028.
Momma SPAM, too cold
Poppa SPAM was much too hot
Baby SPAM, just right

--adrienne/always

12029.
A man named Lucas
He had a lot of mucus
He must have ate SPAM

--Lucas Mc Hearn

12030.
SPAMku drives me nuts
I'd switch to another brand
But there's no TREETku

--Lucas Mc Tired

12031.
Happy new year SPAM!
May your can be filled with ick--
*Viagra salute!*

--HAPPY NEW YEAR SPAM!

12032.
Ninety-eight is dead
Junk heaps of empty blue cans
The old pond....rusty

--Fun Duck

12033.
Night sounds of the south
Genteel broads ripping SPAM burps
Pink magnolias

--Col. Saunders

12034.
You say you're my love
But you rip my gut to shreds--
SPAMku.....marry me.

--Sheila the Dyke

12035.
No other movie
Outperforms. Delightful! SPAM:
Pig In The City

--Mr. and Mrs. Hoggett and Ironhead

12036.
gleaming-brown-ready
lucky our father had spam
scented-oozing-damn

--lee, leecoll@pacbell.net

12037.
Fried SPAM black over
the campfire, it's my Walden,
then swimming the Lake.

--Jamie Fischer

12038.
I love SPAM, Love is
God, Love is blind, Ray Charles is
The God of SPAMku.

--James Dean, on the silver screen

12039.
Is the South flaccid?
Is it limp, lifeless, SPAMku?
It shall rise again.

--Yah Right!, Not on this planet.

12040.
SPAM ate your panties
Made love to the bitch next door
And came home with bugs.

--Badd Dogg

12041.
migrating upstream
rationalism lost to lust
SPAMon spawn and die

--Lawrence B. Chase, lbchase@ix.netcom.com

12042.
Dandelion puff
Stuck to a fat block of SPAM--
Yes, this is my life.

--Chelsea

12043.
Our kitten ate SPAM
Got pussy heebie jeebies
Tom was sure happy

--Felicia Scooch

12044.
One happy camper
Running out of SPAM became--
Even happier.

--Tooluce La Schmec, friends@biteme.com

12045.
What the hell is this?
SPAM cost more than heroin
In li'l Rhode Island.

--Tattoo Detective, ducebag@RI.com

12046.
In the Black Canyon
You'll find not a lump of SPAM--
Colorado knows.

--Tuin Da Hatt

12047.
Sex, Crime, Lies, and Gore
Better stock pile your SPAM guys
Al as president?

--Gore? What for?

12048.
Tarnished key ungirds
ageless armor suit of tin.
Oh meat me halfway.

--Alec Rooney, arooney@gate.net

12049.
Rumbling gizzards bark
Howling down the full mooned bowl--
The old pond is brown.

--Fun Duck, quackquack@hotmail.com

12050.
I C Q not SPAM
You are the handled pisspot
Negative food stuff

--Fun Duck, quackquack@hotmail.com

12051.
Silently pink meat
Sits untouched, wanting, waiting
The day turns again

--Peter Wagner

12052.
Silly cancer blue
Can of dense pack'd gut meat trash
How I ache for thee

--Soilentgreen, pbick@ix.netcom.com

12053.
HAPPY NEW YEAR SPAM!
We love you for what your are--
Grease, salt, stink, and swine.

--Harry McKinnon, NH

12054.
Pampers all half off
When you eat SPAM they must be
Take another dump

--Harold Fingalese

12055.
Porkerlings rendered
Into useless pink grease blocks
Help feed the needy

--Howie Wowie, Bawstin Ma.

12056.
SPAM aspic joy jam
On day-old green Wonder bread--
Wonder? On Wonder.

--David Gagnon, ME.

12057.
Spamerican folks
Dumber than a pee filled boot
Were they raised on SPAM?

--yUK yUK

12058.
The reaper is nigh
Porky has written his will
His ass is soon SPAM

--yUK yUK

12059.
Approaching my home
Heavily hangs the SPAM stench
A show would be nice

--yUK yUK

12060.
Pink SPAM Cape Codder
Kennedy energy drink
Mixed with salt water

--Anonymous

12061.
Hop the SPAM pony
Ride 'em cowgirl, ride 'em high
Come down with a plop!

--Sal Lebrity, Hanson

12062.
Redundant gourmand
Loud orificious echoes
Ripping a new bung

--Harry Harper

12063.
SPAM SPAM! I like SPAM
Fried SPAM with mozzarella
Cheese tastes good with SPAM

--Brad(The Almost anonymous SPAM fan)

12064.
Pink jewel plopping
Branch to branch in the springtime--
SPAM warbler: just there!

--Bill Engell

12065.
A twist of the key
A whiff of its resting place
The key hits the ground

--Joe Polvino

12066.
Gazing at pinkness
Pulchritudinous I think
No, fascination

--Joe Polvino

12067.
A poke with my fork
Gelatinous pink cubeness
It twitches slightly

--Joe Polvino

12068.
Fork penetrates it
Sebaceous oozeness drips forth
I have injured it

--Joe Polvino

12069.
Profound sadness looms
Just what have I done? I cry
I hurt a dear friend

--Joe Polvino

12070.
Garbage disposal
Gaping maw accept this gift
I have killed a friend

--Joe Polvino

12071.
Quick shove off my plate
Down awaiting disposal
Rest in piece, my friend

--Joe Polvino

12072.
I have built a shrine
It's a blue rounded steel can
I'm in it right now

--Joe Polvino

12073.
I'm in my SPAM shrine
Will I hear the key snap off?
Will I breathe again?

--Joe Polvino

12074.
SPAM backwards is maps
Maps tell you where the SPAM is
Find it, then eat it

--Stephen H. Segal, segal@inpgh.com

12075.
I no longer love
I have left you my darling
For a can of SPAM

--h@lo

12076.
Here have some good SPAM
Thank you my tricky partner
I will vomit now

--h@lo

12077.
These SPAMku are strange
You people are VERY strange
I am normal though...

--h@lo

12078.
Sure you are normal
So is intercourse with him
Who is him? Elvis

--h@lo

12079.
It is my birthday
Ha! Not really I'm lying
I got some SPAM though

--h@lo

12080.
SPAM is great in bed
Semi-flaccidness irks me
SPAM is great in bed

--h@lo

12081.
Get real cool SPAM stuff!
Just send your proof of purchase!
How exciting news!

--h@lo

12082.
I just sit and watch
Mock my intelligence eh?
Where did my fork go?

--h@lo

12083.
Where are you Jesus?
Complimentary sample
SPAM makes miracles

--h@lo

12084.
SPAM pigmented skin
Conformist's three meals a day
Welcome to my hell

--h@lo

12085.
Hero of the day
Unsavory in real life
Sliced SPAM luncheon meat

--h@lo

12086.
Our conversation...
"SPAM mixes well in ice-cream"...
Who's the psycho here?

--h@lo

12087.
SPAM was created
An eternal pork legend
Mere luncheon meat wept

--Obernoinkman

12088.
Spiced how? Paprika?
Saffron? Cayenne? Something red!
SPAM, I stand amazed.

--jim of the big ego, jim@bigego.com

12089.
Once, in sub-zero
Breakfast served in metal cups
Fried SPAM--delicious!

--el Jim, jim@bigego.com

12090.
SPAM is now ready
So what were you waiting for?
Eat straight from the can

--Ms. Salvin's 2nd period English class at Downtown High School, San Francisco, csalvin@sfusd.k12.ca.us

12091.
Pink loaf still squirming
out of can, into my mouth.
The smooth feel is bliss.

--Ms. Salvin's 3rd period English class at Downtown High School, San Francisco, csalvin@sfusd.k12.ca.us

12092.
On the tip of tongue,
the soft SPAM slips down my throat.
I sip my Kool-Aid.

--Ms. Salvin's 4th period English class at Downtown High School, San Francisco, csalvin@sfusd.k12.ca.us

12093.
Conscience long since dead.
Brain frozen SPAMericans--
Like farter like son.

--yUK yUK, Save the Queen for what?

12094.
Here in Arkansas
Southern fried SPAM's #1--
Polecat's #2.

--General Lee Grumpy, The South has fallen agin!

12095.
My G-string melted,
My G-spot totally numb--
For the love of SPAM.

--Ynonne Anon, Anon Anon

12096.
I once pleasured you;
My SPAM's eating panty holes--
Many phartz ago.

--Big Marie, Yo Ho To Go Joe!

12097.
Years spent in prison,
I cannot recall the sex--
But oh that damned SPAM.

--Big Marie, Yo Ho To Go Joe!

12098.
"Sometimes SPAM's just SPAM."
Thinking more, she thought: "I too...
am just what I am."

--DW Warren, dwproductions@worldnet.att.net

12099.
Tragic silent scream
Emanating from the hook...
Earthworm's agony.

--Phyllis A. VanVleck, pavanvleck@aol.com

12100.
Hideous SPAMku:
Too much violence and sex--
Change or I'll kill you.

--puddingtain


Move forwards to Numbers 12101-12200.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.