SPAM Haiku 12001-12100

Move backwards to Numbers 11901-12000.

12001.
Deliver flesh block
Into this cold cruel world
With forkceps and knife

--Katie and Pat, Katherine.Cowan@clorox.com

12002.
Horsemeat engelee
Slips out from its briney bath
With a grotesque belch

--Katie and Pat, Katherine.Cowan@clorox.com

12003.
Another Christmas
Who's going to carve the SPAM?
Who's got the Rolaids?

--Big Tim, Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas!

12004.
Fledglings of SPAMku
Lined up like ducks in a row
For the great John Cho.

--Happy New Year!, To you all!

12005.
SPAM is my morphine--
Curls round my tongue and loves me
Inside out and down.

--Herbie D. Wann

12006.
Kentucky Kristmas
Weeell Doggie! We got's some SPAM
Blue grass and pink SPAM

--Kentucky Kenny

12007.
SPAM under feather
Ostrich butt drips in the sun
Birds relish pink SPAM

--Aussie Flossie

12008.
Rocking rolling SPAM
Meat effigies of Dick Clark
We are all winners

--Annette Ova Yu, headnet@prod.net

12009.
Time to quit SPAMku
Renting rooms in my small mind
To in and outlaws

--Slop D.Puppy, toddle the kids

12010.
American twits
Have their heads up their fat butts--
Ahhh the taste of SPAM.

--yUK yUK Klinton

12011.
Taste is where it's at
Pathetic SPAMericans--
Clinton ha ha ha!

--yUK yUK Klinton#2, Jeanie McIntosh

12012.
Life after SPAMku
Pristine cloudless sky of pink
Read the damned label

--Butchie Brown, MCI Somewhere

12013.
SPAM greases the skids
To the ER or the morgue--
Beware of the hawg.

--Walter Byrd, wb@membersspire.com

12014.
Bill nominated
As the year's SPAM by-product--
Century's correct.

--Capt. SPAMerica says:, Bill's Swill!

12015.
Hillary Clinton
In SPAMerica's toilet--
Just another turd.

--Capt. SPAMerica, Bumrush 'em and flush 'em

12016.
A Happy New Year
Is one that is Clintonless--
Have a SPAMku Year!

--DC no AC! Si!

12017.
Keep it Mr. Jim,
Bo J's lips never smacked SPAM--
Can't integrate that.

--JJ

12018.
SPAM no longer bites.
Found the pig teeth in my lunch--
Or did they find me?

--Lloyd Teraround, lloyd@partners.com

12019.
SPAM Lite on counter
Ripped open in excitement
Empty can stares up!

--Marky Rebel, aledoux@merrimack.edu

12020.
So disillusioned
"SPAM comes from pigs," Mother says
I don't believe her

--Marky Rebel, aledoux@merrimack.edu

12021.
World War III explodes
Everything is laid to waste
Except me and SPAM

--Marky Rebel, aledoux@merrimack.edu

12022.
Slimy liquid drops
On my tongue, gelatin flops
Past my uvula

--Jed, bigbum@home.com

12023.
During the next year
I'll do no SPAM nor SPAMku--
Well, very little.

--New Year's Resolution #1, Pasta Rasta

12024.
digestion is lost
within the confines of my
intestinal tract

--kimbijen

12025.
Flightless dodo bird
SPAM of the fine feathered world
SPAM is endangered

--Cowie Harr

12026.
Out of sheer boredom
I DNA tested SPAM--
It matched Bill Clinton's.

--Wheezle Bit

12027.
We can't forgive Bill.
He believes we're Arky dumb--
And my friends, we are.

--Nothing To Forgive

12028.
Momma SPAM, too cold
Poppa SPAM was much too hot
Baby SPAM, just right

--adrienne/always

12029.
A man named Lucas
He had a lot of mucus
He must have ate SPAM

--Lucas Mc Hearn

12030.
SPAMku drives me nuts
I'd switch to another brand
But there's no TREETku

--Lucas Mc Tired

12031.
Happy new year SPAM!
May your can be filled with ick--
*Viagra salute!*

--HAPPY NEW YEAR SPAM!

12032.
Ninety-eight is dead
Junk heaps of empty blue cans
The old pond....rusty

--Fun Duck

12033.
Night sounds of the south
Genteel broads ripping SPAM burps
Pink magnolias

--Col. Saunders

12034.
You say you're my love
But you rip my gut to shreds--
SPAMku.....marry me.

--Sheila the Dyke

12035.
No other movie
Outperforms. Delightful! SPAM:
Pig In The City

--Mr. and Mrs. Hoggett and Ironhead

12036.
gleaming-brown-ready
lucky our father had spam
scented-oozing-damn

--lee, leecoll@pacbell.net

12037.
Fried SPAM black over
the campfire, it's my Walden,
then swimming the Lake.

--Jamie Fischer

12038.
I love SPAM, Love is
God, Love is blind, Ray Charles is
The God of SPAMku.

--James Dean, on the silver screen

12039.
Is the South flaccid?
Is it limp, lifeless, SPAMku?
It shall rise again.

--Yah Right!, Not on this planet.

12040.
SPAM ate your panties
Made love to the bitch next door
And came home with bugs.

--Badd Dogg

12041.
migrating upstream
rationalism lost to lust
SPAMon spawn and die

--Lawrence B. Chase, lbchase@ix.netcom.com

12042.
Dandelion puff
Stuck to a fat block of SPAM--
Yes, this is my life.

--Chelsea

12043.
Our kitten ate SPAM
Got pussy heebie jeebies
Tom was sure happy

--Felicia Scooch

12044.
One happy camper
Running out of SPAM became--
Even happier.

--Tooluce La Schmec, friends@biteme.com

12045.
What the hell is this?
SPAM cost more than heroin
In li'l Rhode Island.

--Tattoo Detective, ducebag@RI.com

12046.
In the Black Canyon
You'll find not a lump of SPAM--
Colorado knows.

--Tuin Da Hatt

12047.
Sex, Crime, Lies, and Gore
Better stock pile your SPAM guys
Al as president?

--Gore? What for?

12048.
Tarnished key ungirds
ageless armor suit of tin.
Oh meat me halfway.

--Alec Rooney, arooney@gate.net

12049.
Rumbling gizzards bark
Howling down the full mooned bowl--
The old pond is brown.

--Fun Duck, quackquack@hotmail.com

12050.
I C Q not SPAM
You are the handled pisspot
Negative food stuff

--Fun Duck, quackquack@hotmail.com

12051.
Silently pink meat
Sits untouched, wanting, waiting
The day turns again

--Peter Wagner

12052.
Silly cancer blue
Can of dense pack'd gut meat trash
How I ache for thee

--Soilentgreen, pbick@ix.netcom.com

12053.
HAPPY NEW YEAR SPAM!
We love you for what your are--
Grease, salt, stink, and swine.

--Harry McKinnon, NH

12054.
Pampers all half off
When you eat SPAM they must be
Take another dump

--Harold Fingalese

12055.
Porkerlings rendered
Into useless pink grease blocks
Help feed the needy

--Howie Wowie, Bawstin Ma.

12056.
SPAM aspic joy jam
On day-old green Wonder bread--
Wonder? On Wonder.

--David Gagnon, ME.

12057.
Spamerican folks
Dumber than a pee filled boot
Were they raised on SPAM?

--yUK yUK

12058.
The reaper is nigh
Porky has written his will
His ass is soon SPAM

--yUK yUK

12059.
Approaching my home
Heavily hangs the SPAM stench
A show would be nice

--yUK yUK

12060.
Pink SPAM Cape Codder
Kennedy energy drink
Mixed with salt water

--Anonymous

12061.
Hop the SPAM pony
Ride 'em cowgirl, ride 'em high
Come down with a plop!

--Sal Lebrity, Hanson

12062.
Redundant gourmand
Loud orificious echoes
Ripping a new bung

--Harry Harper

12063.
SPAM SPAM! I like SPAM
Fried SPAM with mozzarella
Cheese tastes good with SPAM

--Brad(The Almost anonymous SPAM fan)

12064.
Pink jewel plopping
Branch to branch in the springtime--
SPAM warbler: just there!

--Bill Engell

12065.
A twist of the key
A whiff of its resting place
The key hits the ground

--Joe Polvino

12066.
Gazing at pinkness
Pulchritudinous I think
No, fascination

--Joe Polvino

12067.
A poke with my fork
Gelatinous pink cubeness
It twitches slightly

--Joe Polvino

12068.
Fork penetrates it
Sebaceous oozeness drips forth
I have injured it

--Joe Polvino

12069.
Profound sadness looms
Just what have I done? I cry
I hurt a dear friend

--Joe Polvino

12070.
Garbage disposal
Gaping maw accept this gift
I have killed a friend

--Joe Polvino

12071.
Quick shove off my plate
Down awaiting disposal
Rest in piece, my friend

--Joe Polvino

12072.
I have built a shrine
It's a blue rounded steel can
I'm in it right now

--Joe Polvino

12073.
I'm in my SPAM shrine
Will I hear the key snap off?
Will I breathe again?

--Joe Polvino

12074.
SPAM backwards is maps
Maps tell you where the SPAM is
Find it, then eat it

--Stephen H. Segal, segal@inpgh.com

12075.
I no longer love
I have left you my darling
For a can of SPAM

--h@lo

12076.
Here have some good SPAM
Thank you my tricky partner
I will vomit now

--h@lo

12077.
These SPAMku are strange
You people are VERY strange
I am normal though...

--h@lo

12078.
Sure you are normal
So is intercourse with him
Who is him? Elvis

--h@lo

12079.
It is my birthday
Ha! Not really I'm lying
I got some SPAM though

--h@lo

12080.
SPAM is great in bed
Semi-flaccidness irks me
SPAM is great in bed

--h@lo

12081.
Get real cool SPAM stuff!
Just send your proof of purchase!
How exciting news!

--h@lo

12082.
I just sit and watch
Mock my intelligence eh?
Where did my fork go?

--h@lo

12083.
Where are you Jesus?
Complimentary sample
SPAM makes miracles

--h@lo

12084.
SPAM pigmented skin
Conformist's three meals a day
Welcome to my hell

--h@lo

12085.
Hero of the day
Unsavory in real life
Sliced SPAM luncheon meat

--h@lo

12086.
Our conversation...
"SPAM mixes well in ice-cream"...
Who's the psycho here?

--h@lo

12087.
SPAM was created
An eternal pork legend
Mere luncheon meat wept

--Obernoinkman

12088.
Spiced how? Paprika?
Saffron? Cayenne? Something red!
SPAM, I stand amazed.

--jim of the big ego, jim@bigego.com

12089.
Once, in sub-zero
Breakfast served in metal cups
Fried SPAM--delicious!

--el Jim, jim@bigego.com

12090.
SPAM is now ready
So what were you waiting for?
Eat straight from the can

--Ms. Salvin's 2nd period English class at Downtown High School, San Francisco, csalvin@sfusd.k12.ca.us

12091.
Pink loaf still squirming
out of can, into my mouth.
The smooth feel is bliss.

--Ms. Salvin's 3rd period English class at Downtown High School, San Francisco, csalvin@sfusd.k12.ca.us

12092.
On the tip of tongue,
the soft SPAM slips down my throat.
I sip my Kool-Aid.

--Ms. Salvin's 4th period English class at Downtown High School, San Francisco, csalvin@sfusd.k12.ca.us

12093.
Conscience long since dead.
Brain frozen SPAMericans--
Like farter like son.

--yUK yUK, Save the Queen for what?

12094.
Here in Arkansas
Southern fried SPAM's #1--
Polecat's #2.

--General Lee Grumpy, The South has fallen agin!

12095.
My G-string melted,
My G-spot totally numb--
For the love of SPAM.

--Ynonne Anon, Anon Anon

12096.
I once pleasured you;
My SPAM's eating panty holes--
Many phartz ago.

--Big Marie, Yo Ho To Go Joe!

12097.
Years spent in prison,
I cannot recall the sex--
But oh that damned SPAM.

--Big Marie, Yo Ho To Go Joe!

12098.
"Sometimes SPAM's just SPAM."
Thinking more, she thought: "I too...
am just what I am."

--DW Warren, dwproductions@worldnet.att.net

12099.
Tragic silent scream
Emanating from the hook...
Earthworm's agony.

--Phyllis A. VanVleck, pavanvleck@aol.com

12100.
Hideous SPAMku:
Too much violence and sex--
Change or I'll kill you.

--puddingtain