SPAM Haiku 12501-12600

Move backwards to Numbers 12401-12500.


12501.
SPAM is mystery.
What else lists both pork and ham
as ingredients?
--Curtis Bennett, cbennett@qni.com

12502.
Repugnant pink meat
How I detest thee vile SPAM
White trash of meat world

--Jacob and Tom, badfish12@yahoo.com

12503.
Bam Bam! I love SPAM
Monica too, boo-hoo-hoo
What I gonna do?

--Little Bill Bluett, bigtime@wash.come

12504.
SPAMinized my car.
The rain dances on my hood--
And the hound dogs howl.

--Three Feathers, cootchiecoo.net

12505.
The new SPAM butt wipes:
We just call them journalists--
And anchor men too.

--Three Feathers, cootchiecoo.net

12506.
Slimy piece of crap,
My heart calls to the oh SPAM
Rush of ecstacy

--My Heart Calls To Thee Oh SPAM, auztinpowerz@yahoo.com

12507.
I can't stop at one
Guess I'll have another slice
Is that all the milk?

--Matt Clenott

12508.
What will I do now?
You greasy pink slab of SPAM,
I cannot eat you!

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12509.
Everybody has
Their own ideas of SPAM
All except for Bill

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12510.
Trucks of Hormel SPAM
Move along the angry road
Turning faster wheels

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12511.
Little Monica,
Kneels at home eating her SPAM,
Practice for later.

--Albert The Dog

12512.
One empty blue can,
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
In this case salty.

--Albert The Dog

12513.
Relatives be damned.
I'll not waste cash when they die.
I'll just have them spamned.

--Albert The Dog

12514.
shoulder pork and ham
a question is answered, I
don't feel enlightened

--Joan

12515.
I eye a blue can
my last hope in this bleak land
no tab, hunger kills

--Joan

12516.
Spiral sliced SPAM stuff
Pink Slinky or hog dinky?
SPAM lovers don't care

--Suzie Semen-Staighn, blewdress@wash.come

12517.
SPAM haiku! Who knew?
Such a big to do over
processed piggy parts!

--Chris Bridges Roys, chris@cybergal.com

12518.
For real fun with SPAM,
Bring the "blue can" to the can,
Plop it on the seat.

--Bill Hansen, onieros@geocities.com

12519.
spam on the dashboard
how serious your quiver
the radio fades

--G. James, beajerry@jaws.greatwhite.com

12520.
SPAM is very good...
That's assuming that you like
Canned fat, "meat product."

--Pip, Jonkleinow@macconnect.com

12521.
You thought that you were
Supposed to vomit like that
Because you ate SPAM

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12522.
Liplock that pink meat.
Roll it around on your tongue
Berlitz School of SPAM

--Herbie Heinz Phatt, knacker Snacker

12523.
I hit the button.
"Here's the SPAMku you just sent:"
What the hell's "SPAMKU"?

--Grunter Hunter, Phoebe@yodel.com

12524.
Outta plugs again?
Not to fear, my Jenny dear...
Spam-pons a go-go.

--kstinson, hsonline.net

12525.
Warhol's Superstar?
Not that can of soup for sure.
Exploding Puce SPAM!

--kstinson, hsonline.net

12526.
Truckstop Sushi Bar
All you care to eat, people!
Agedashi SPAM

--kim, kstinson@hsonline.net

12527.
The 70s brought
Gary Glitter, Major Tom,
Sex, drugs, rock, and SPAM!

--kim, kstinson@hsonline.net

12528.
Two SPAM slabs make love
Oily pink loins wrapped tightly
In amoeba love

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

12529.
powerful suck as
the seal of fat is broken
the spam slips out now

--Keith Logan

12530.
Belch disapproval
The slick slab slides from the can
Onto the waxed floor

--Matt, Clenott

12531.
Blue can, now empty
SPAM will not last forever
My soul still hungers

--Airbiscuit, Airbiscuit@bubba.net

12532.
yes, SPAM spoke to me
and here is its whole message
it said "SPAM I am"

--Tina

12533.
fried pink, glistening...
fat pops, are you listening?
a SPAM christening...

--Shawn Herrin, shawnshawn@bigfoot.com

12534.
Is SPAM linear,
Or is it nonlinear?
Does SPAM reflect light?

--Peter Berman

12535.
Two dancing blue tins
Execute a pas-de-deux:
SPAM at the ballet.

--Peter Berman

12536.
Doctor Who's TARDIS
stood for, ``Time And Relative
Dimensions In SPAM.''

--Peter Berman

12537.
``Buy the SPAM and sell
the SPAM and ask the SPAM to
fall on me.'' -- M. Stipe

--Peter Berman

12538.
When the Hammer says,
``U can't touch this,'' he means his
stack of old SPAM cans.

--Peter Berman

12539.
Men Without Hats...Why
Did they feel so safe--were they
Fortified by SPAM?

--Peter Berman

12540.
Rule for this evening:
Write enough SPAMku, and one's
Bound to be clever.

--Peter Berman

12541.
Maybe not this one,
Nor the previous one...but
One of these will be.

--Peter Berman

12542.
Closing time...Turn on
All the lights; I know who I
Want to feed me SPAM.

--Peter Berman

12543.
It's all right, it's all
Right, all right; unnh! SPAM moves in
Mysterious ways.

--Peter Berman

12544.
Help! I'm trapped in a
repeating SPAMku pattern,
a three-line addict.

--Peter Berman

12545.
Take "SPAM" spelled backwards
And you certainly get "MAPS"
Do they show the way?

--G.J., beajerry@jaws.greatwhite.com

12546.
The river rises
From a gently falling rain
Dampens SPAM sandwich

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12547.
Pan encourages
The hot sizzling swine to fry
Quick! Where's the flipper?

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

12548.
thick pink goo, quivers
between twin white sheaths; a SPAM
tartare; ah, how quaint.

--Anonymous

12549.
Smelling of dead pigs
SPAM easily gets moldy
What a barfy food

--Mitch Dalton

12550.
SPAM on your moustache
Fruit flies in your lime Zarex--
I love you Sandra!

--I.B. Hardy

12551.
Merciful Father
Deliver us from evil
Generic lunchmeat

--Matt Clenott

12552.
Making my SPAM shake
I overstuff the blender
Faux-beef explosion

--SPAM Monger

12553.
Low on cruise missiles
NATO unveils SPAM weapon
The skies rain pork death

--SPAM Monger

12554.
Truck full of road kill
Enters SPAM processing plant
And comes out empty

--Wild T.

12555.
We send the Third World
Nations SPAM by the truckload
See why they hate us

--Wild T.

12556.
I ran the chainsaw
Then I had a SPAMBURGER
They'll never find Mom

--Wild T.

12557.
Fell and broke my wrist
I made a splint from SPAM cans
How lucky for me

--Wild T.

12558.
Pink, crunchy shapes of
Many beasts of the jungle
SPAMinal Crackers

--Wild T.

12559.
Hole in the ozone:
Could its cause be the many
farts produced by SPAM?

--Wild T.

12560.
Eight years of college
Just to write SPAMku. I wish
I had my degree.

--Wild T.

12561.
I fucked SPAM last night!
The SPAM was too embarrassed
to brag about it...

--Slyderboy

12562.
Eating SPAM while you
Masturbate is a case of
Extreme self abuse

--Slyderboy

12563.
I tried to eat SPAM
Off her body, but there are
Things a whore won't do

--Slyderboy

12564.
On Monica's dress
DNA testing confirmed
a SPAM jelly stain.

--troy janisch, troy.janisch@onlinearts.net

12565.
Redneck teenagers
believe SPAM ooze can be used
for contraception...

--troy janisch, troy.janisch@onlinearts.net

12566.
Hidden by Hormel,
in a furnace's ashes:
organ donor cards.

--troy janisch, troy.janisch@onlinearts.net

12567.
SPAM's strong saltiness
Cries out for counterbalance.
Eat a candy bar.

--Ollie Podrida, ValGal20@aol.com

12568.
My SPAM is growing
Getting bigger every day
Got to buy new pants

--Kristin, shebone@earthlink.net

12569.
Please, kiss my SPAM dear
Wet and juicy, made to please
Just don't bite too hard

--Kristin, shebone@earthlink.net

12570.
Anticipation
Of that sweet mystery meat
Makes me melt like SPAM

--Kristin, shebone@earthlink.net

12571.
Remember, kids: use
The key and Mr. SPAM is
No longer our friend...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@yahoo.co.uk

12572.
SPAM the WONDER FOOD:
You eat it and you wonder--
Now where's the damned food?

--Monica Loves Billy, 4/1/99

12573.
SPAM flavored stamp glue
Is why workers went postal--
Want to lick my stamps?

--Conrad Fagone, Chelsea@St.Stan's

12574.
Chilled SPAM jam frappé
Here's to you, my yuppie friends
And your progeny!

--Soccer Moms Bring, Balls To The Game

12575.
I hate SPAM a lot
If only it taste like steak
It might be better

--jim garren, jimtin@aol.com

12576.
In the Beginning
God made Earth, Fire, and Water.
SPAM was the binder.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

12577.
Time mows down mortals,
Yet its scythe does not touch SPAM--
Thank preservatives.

--L. Sheahen

12578.
It's said eating SPAM
Will bring one enlightenment.
Not sure I agree.

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@gateway.net

12579.
Once, in the U. P.,
Played a band called "The SPAM Band."
And where are they now?

--james, simply james, jphink@hotmail.com

12580.
The 12th night of May
SPAMpoles sprout legs inside the
Blue sarcophagous

--Spankin' Sammy, rmorgis@xnet.com

12581.
Guts growl in anger.
SPAM resists all efforts at
Regurgitation.

--Spankin' Sammy, rmorgis@xnet.com

12582.
Fleabag hotel bed:
Sheets reek of SPAM and semen.
I like to stay here.

--Spankin' Sammy, rmorgis@xnet.com

12583.
One bored God said on
The seventh day, "They need SPAM."
Then all hell broke loose.

--Velvet Elvis, sssh@whoanelly.com

12584.
Oh! glorious SPAM.
Mighty font of nutrition!
My heart fills with lard.

--StankFoot, bmarlin@xnet.com

12585.
We think it is safe
FDA gives two thumbs up
Siskel dies from SPAM

--Spankin' Sammy

12586.
Refugee diet?
"We'll feed them SPAM," Red Cross says.
An ethnic cleansing.

--Spankin' Sammy

12587.
I laid my member
Twixt those spiced pink labia.
Oh. Was that your lunch?

--Spankin' Sammy

12588.
What's in that damned can?
All I know is, my body
Turns it to liquid.

--Spankin' Sammy

12589.
Boil one large lobster.
Top with SPAM and jelly goo.
Don't tell anyone!

--Spankin' Sammy

12590.
Smooth-lubed with SPAM goo
Butt cheeks gleaming in the sun
She rode sidesaddle.

--Spankin' Sammy

12591.
Archaeologists
Dark tomb glint of gold and blue
Mummy rots--SPAM's good

--Spankin' Sammy

12592.
Porcelain goddess
I worship thee mightily.
Gastric juice and SPAM.

--Spankin' Sammy

12593.
Wet swimsuits drying
Dappled sunlight pink picnic
We lick our hands clean

--Spankin' Sammy

12594.
Africa needs food
United States sends SPAM-aid--
Africa starts war

--Amb. Girarda U.P.A. , almark@dicksonstreet.com

12595.
When the truth is found
to be lies and all the joy
within you dies: SPAM.

--Spankin' Sammy

12596.
Pinworms? I wonder...
No, Mom, you served SPAM last night.
Is YOUR ass on fire?

--Spankin' Sammy

12597.
My arteries clog
and my toilet does as well.
The pain I call SPAM.

--Zach Scott, Zvoll@aol.com

12598.
SPAM floating in space
It is three thousand and one
You smell delicious

--G. James, beajerry@jaws.greatwhite.com

12599.
I sleep with my SPAM
I cherish it lovingly
Makes my bed smell rank

--Dangerously Psycho, DPsycho@dangerous-minds.com

12600.
Close up of SPAM can
Slow-motion gun shoots bullet
Tough as a lock? Nope

--Cliff Drane, dranec@hotmail.com


Move forwards to Numbers 12601-12700.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.