SPAM Haiku 13401-13500

Move backwards to Numbers 13301-13400.


13401.
Little Tommy Smith
Left some SPAM for Santa Claus.
Santa left some coal.
--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13402.
Old Mother Hubbard's
Cupboard's now filled up with SPAM.
Poor dog's still hungry.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13403.
In the Cordon Bleu,
Great Parisian cooking school,
SPAM is not allowed.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13404.
Let's have a contest.
See who can eat the most SPAM
Without getting sick.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13405.
The Chinese people.
Built a wall around China
Just to keep out SPAM.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13406.
From a plywood cow
Later, canned and labeled SPAM
Is nothing sacred?

--Zen

13407.
On the seventh day
The good lord created SPAM
God makes mistakes too

--Zen

13408.
How to eat SPAM pie:
Rip the pastry off; Eat it.
Throw the SPAM away

--The Pied Viper, thepiedviper@hotmail.com

13409.
Paris restaurant.
You served me horsemeat? Thank God
--I thought it was SPAM.

--Reed Monroe

13410.
Bike! Cancer be damned!
Lance Armstrong has more balls than
a large can of SPAM.

--Reed Monroe

13411.
Psychoactive drugs?
Nope; I don't need no Prozac.
SPAM-ku keeps me sane!

--Reed Monroe

13412.
Wait; there's someone here.
The Hormel gang, they're stuffing
SPAM through my keyhole.

--Reed Monroe

13413.
Asian mountain peaks
On my new designer sheets--
I'll offer her SPAM.

--Itchibutt Shratchit, crack@bhindnet.com

13414.
In the sacred hills
Warriors long since dead...march--
To the SPAM can beat.

--Spider Rider, legs8@theweb.com

13415.
Freedom from SPAMku
Though it is just venial sin--
Is worth the penance.

--Fr. Along, St. Spigot's Church

13416.
Blind man a-begging
Tin cup, glasses, cane and dog--
And I'm out of SPAM.

--Joey Sixwashers, ClunkX6@keller.com

13417.
Tasted once or twice
The tin of grease, salt, and spice--
Don't! ....That's my advice.

--Colon Impactori

13418.
SPAM gravy biscuits
A true taste of The Old South--
Or was that the west?

--Resident Prozac Convert

13419.
Blue can rides thru France
Pig meat on a bicycle
Is it Lance SPAMstrong?

--dr.soo dho nimh-sez Texas Rules!

13420.
Masturbate with SPAM?
If it is covered in grease
Can I beat that meat?

--dr. soo dho nimh

13421.
Footballs fly in Fall
Chunks of SPAM are thrown in Spring
Pigs in flight all year!

--dr soo dho nimh-phony tax cuts hurt all

13422.
Campaign finance is
money thrown away;why not
use SPAM to get votes?

--dr soo dho nimh

13423.
Smoky Mountain mist
valley morning soon reveals
Fried SPAM for breakfast.

--dr soo dho nimh

13424.
Ralph Cramden and SPAM
Crossed paths but one time in life--
To the moon Alice!

--Jackie Gleesome

13425.
Dunderbeck's Cat SPAM
If you want great night vision--
Fleas ticks and hairballs.

--Save A Cat........For SPAM., Cat SPAM! Real Pet Food.

13426.
Macumba Drummings
Dead chickens, notes of SPAMku--
Scratched in a strange tongue.

--Impanema

13427.
You and I as we
Not-so-identical twins--
Like pink SPAM and Treet.

--Walter Wall Chaos, offdwall@SPAM.com

13428.
Various organs
And pink parts of common swine--
Make SPAMku The Balls!

--Hammond & Estee

13429.
"SPAMku" is Asian
For "Screw all you Yankee dinks!"
But They'll never tell.

--Charlie

13430.
Like birds on a wire
SPAMkuers and haiku whores--
Light but know not why.

--Ima Rednecker, Lick my outhouse yankee!

13431.
SPAM pink plum blossoms
Eaten to shreds by Beatles--
John, paul, george, ringo.

--Yoko Ohyes

13432.
Diminishing health
When you live on SPAMBURGERs--
Fading, failing......Poof!

--Narcicus

13433.
Belching up creamed SPAM
Vomitized carrots and peas
Take on Buddha's form.

--Monk Keybiz, Ito Shalom Chapel of Mary

13434.
Some of us choose SPAM
Others of us choose heath foods
Yet we're all force-fed.

--Uncle SPAM

13435.
SPAM, eggs, bacon, SPAM
That's not got much SPAM in it!
But I don't like SPAM!

--dr.soo dho nimh-Tour de SPAMs?

13436.
Down here in Texas
We cook our SPAM with peppers
Heat treats the meat well!

--dr.soo dho nimh

13437.
I like Shpam with my
vodka, ish very, hiccup,
tasty, yesh, indeed!

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

13438.
A stand-off begins.
Disgruntled postal worker
straps cans on himself.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13439.
He takes hostages
in a Vegan restaurant.
Threatens them with SPAM.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13440.
A policeman screams,
"Hands up! Drop the SPAM. Drop it!"
And the crisis ends.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13441.
Gimpos and SPAM feebs
Pop drooly bubbles for friends--
And friends not yet met.

--R.E. Lee, Fern, So. Carilona

13442.
Your girl's got a dink
A big one made out of SPAM--
And it looks like you.

--Jonathan Apples

13443.
I squat in temple
SPAM can bells Thunk-Thunk! out loud--
My robes need cleansing.

--Ito Chito Ohno, The Sad Monk

13444.
Vicious pink lunchmeat
I pinched a loaf and sang praise--
And SPAM too did pass.

--Ito Chito Ohno, The Sad Monk

13445.
Sure 'tis not Charmin
SPAM pink plum blossom tissue
Butt wipes of haiku

--IRA Wynns

13446.
My fellow butt wipes
Snatcher scratchers of SPAMku
Be gentle be kind.

--Anonymous

13447.
Be gentle be kind
The SPAMku you are narfing
Might have been your own.

--Anonymous

13448.
Up to here in SPAM
At a back room of Hormel
This water Is HOT!

--Jimmy Hoffa

13449.
Dental flossed coochie.
She was that kind of preppy
who never ate SPAM.

--Ms. Land's End, You know who you are Mary.

13450.
Ring ring goes the bell
Mother ate SPAM every day
And the mail man too

--Yasmine Habibi, Unoit, Iran

13451.
Don "I-Man" Imus
Grind pets with Fred into SPAM
But Fred deserves it.

--The I-Woman

13452.
SPAM's really pricey
What happened to the old days
Before heart transplants

--Heliotrope Lips, and rusty hips....So Cal....So Cool!

13453.
Dialogue with SPAM
And you'll have a peaceful night
Dead pigs just don't lie

--Pete Heroff, bfelon@dacan.com

13454.
Roses are red, SPAM
Is pink. Grease is now flowing
Down the kitchen sink.

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

13455.
In Martha's Vineyard
Hides Hormel's Mass. Factory.
"More Kennedy meat!"

--Martin H. Booda, booda@ametro.net

13456.
JFK Jr.'s
Plane approaches airport. SPAM
Missile finds its mark.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@ametro.net

13457.
Joe Jr., Jack, Bob,
Michael, John Jr. Lots of
Good fresh corn-fed meat.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@ametro.net

13458.
Bodies plucked from sea.
Navy brings them to the dock.
Hormel trucks roll out.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@ametro.net

13459.
Ask not what you can
Feed from your country. Country
Will feed from you, John.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@ametro.net

13460.
SPAMessence lingers
Clouds of sunset glowing bright--
Pink panties smoking.

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

13461.
Boots, rope, and canned SPAM
Towering mountain peaks call--
I hear.....I eat SPAM..

--Mount Monadnock

13462.
Malleable pink
Twisting turning elastic--
Colon shaped lunch loaf.

--Colon Benders, Jeff@123x.com

13463.
Hot SPAM back washer
I had met her in Tokyo
Rubbed me the wrong way

--Itchie Scratchie, Pigeon racer

13464.
Pink cube jiggles in
can. Reflections on tin are
pink haze. Lovely loaf.

--Anonymous

13465.
SPAM in ice cream dish
Fruit, nuts, syrup, and whipped cream
A SPAMana split

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13466.
SPAMMA Parmesan
"Mangia, mangia, mangia, eh?"
"Grazie. Pero no."

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13467.
Dog owners now sue.
Their pets died as a result
of second-hand SPAM.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13468.
Projex Surf n' Turf
SPAM, crack, a can of sardines--
Peep for the 5-0.

--Projex Lifer, Lafrack/Iraq *Budda-budda-budda!

13469.
Vine covered cottage
Chewed SPAM cans strewn everywhere
Yogi Bear found dead!

--Jellystone Ranger

13470.
Verdant slab of SPAM
Fuzzie wuzzies growing thing
SPAM I never ate

--Ivana Pukagin, Ivpag@scedu.com

13471.
SPAMple the good life
Be Honest Open Willing--
Pay your HMO.

--Gene Poole "Ernest", SC, We shall rise agin!

13472.
Summertime and the
SPAM is easy and greasy
Hot slab on a plate

--dr soo dho nimh

13473.
The virtue of pig
Is that it is what it is--
And there's no romance.

--Dexter Welfleet

13474.
Fireflies when squished up
Make your finger glow bright green--
Green like vintage SPAM.

--Dexter Welfleet

13475.
Harry carried SPAM
Slugs ate the lotus blossoms--
Geisha sells tuna.

--Obitchi Ubugmi, Osaka, Japan

13476.
Wending my way home
I find the SPAM crumbs I dropped--
That nothing would eat.

--Herkimer Meridith, Danvers, Ma.

13477.
Soccer, soccer moms
Both bite the big pink tube SPAM--
And use their fat heads.

--Bubba's Broads, Manyplace USA

13478.
Lotus blossoms bloom
with their roots deep in the mud--
SPAM of the plant world.

--Mahbebe Gunn, starvinJ@india.com

13479.
SPAM for president
It's greasy, fat, pink, and cheap--
Hey, we have that now.

--Capt. SPAMerica, Vote with your sexual organs!

13480.
In the Temple SPAM
Loony pigs pray to Porky--
While they're preyed upon.

--HOR MEL Gracie, Priestess of Grease This!

13481.
Grease falls of pig fat
Frozen Samurai rivers--
The waltzes of SPAM.

--Carl Porter, Rindge Tech.

13482.
SPAM on my dip stick
It looks like I'm a squat low
Hopper Aerobics

--Tom Tom, Drum@usc.edu

13483.
Just like those soup cans:
Andy Warhol ever do
any SPAM lithos?

--Issa SPAMku really poetry?

13484.
Microsoft spell check
flags "Hormel" lists "horrible"
as correct spelling.

--Issa SPAMku really poetry?

13485.
Hormel IPO:
SPAM.com lists on NASDAQ
Stock market implodes

--Issa SPAMku really poetry?

13486.
SPAM and Miracle
Whip that hogie into shape--
Your future with meat.

--Johnny Boyle, Jboyle44@h2onet.com

13487.
Friendly fire killed Paw
He got lit up for his kin--
Barbecuing SPAM.

--Victor Vargas

13488.
Samurai Geishas
Can toss their cookies and yours
After eating SPAM.

--Victor Vargas

13489.
Rainbows, alarm clocks
Glockenspiels, dingleberries
Then there's simply SPAM

--Howard Huge

13490.
Becky let me sniff
But I tasted not her SPAM--
Life's little blessings.

--To: Fat Welfare Becky, And her ankle biters

13491.
Your "can" is mangled
You've been labeled Queen of SPAM
But I did love you

--To: Fat Welfare Becky, And her ankle biters

13492.
Slime covered wheel chock
For mama-in-law's auto
1 lb. of pink SPAM

--Barton, Hain't Ga. somethin'?

13493.
I'll trade you this SPAM
For just one day at a time--
Bang! Boom! To next trade.

--Barton, Hain't Ga. somethin'?

13494.
Florida Keys breeze
Pig in a blender with ease!
SPAMarita-ville!

--dr soo dho nimh

13495.
SPAM squirts at midnight
Loud bowels cry in distress
Next time, no hot sauce!

--dr soo dho nimh

13496.
SPAM authors long to
see their poetry in print.
Post those SPAM haikus!

--dr soo dho nimh

13497.
Wet green SPAM, stale bread
Gods enjoy the penance joke--
Laugh and pee themselves.

--Freddie O'brien

13498.
Buddha big and fat
Ate SPAM whenever he sat
Also peed and shat

--Tao Jones

13499.
Down memory lanes
Life rolls huge pink bowling balls
Of SPAM right at us.

--Tao Jones

13500.
The SPAM can Can-Can
A lively ethnic folk dance
On porcelain laps.

--Paula Wannacracka


Move forwards to Numbers 13501-13600.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.