SPAM Haiku 13601-13700

Move backwards to Numbers 13501-13600.


13601.
Southern Jewry dream:
Kosher kibbled crunchy SPAM.
The pig kept Sabbath.
--Brother Gutter, efranke@brazosport.cc.tx.us

13602.
I just found this site
You guys really eat that crap?
My dog won't touch it

--Airhead, chief@calweb.com

13603.
soft touching wind slides
down hot breath towards her hand
caressing cold SPAM

--<<>>, polloroid@hotmail.com

13604.
See what poor pig eats?
I shall watch you die laughing,
SPAM-vectored kuru.

--Brother Gutter, efranke@brazosport.cc.tx.us

13605.
Fire in Hormel plant.
But Marketing saves the day:
New Smoke-Flavored SPAM!

--Reed_Monroe

13606.
Forever SPAM-less,
Condemned by a single word:
Vegetarian!

--Christopher Baskind, kit@VoodooRadioNOSPAM.com

13607.
I wanted it now!
As I squeezed down on the lid
sliced off my finger.

--Kent Morgan

13608.
Scraps spinning a new
Jungian connection to
Upton Sinclair's dream.

--Todd Johnson, Hungry Horse

13609.
The reservation
smoke shop trades cartons of cigs
for vintage blue cans.

--E. After Swine

13610.
Holy abbattoir
Kosher bleach of alchemy
Could not clean this flesh

--Kent Morgan

13611.
Today's my birthday.
Got a watch, socks, and boxers.
No SPAAAAAAM! Heartbroken.

--Tbone4

13612.
Mark McGwire at bat.
Three on. Pitcher throws blue can.
WHAM! BAM! SPAM GRAND SLAM!

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13613.
Just old fashioned SPAM
Full of grease, salt, and toxins--
SPAM prevents old age.

--Ofeodu Skarew

13614.
Drug testing in sports
Should look for trace amounts of
SPAM in the system!

--dr soo dho nimh

13615.
Summer heat is here
So hot they say you could fry
SPAM on the sidewalk

--dr soo dho nimh

13616.
I make cheap movie
About scary blue can hunt
The Blair SPAM Project!?

--dr soo dho nimh

13617.
Big black eerie bird
Perched there saying, "Nevermore."
After eating SPAM.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13618.
French Chef, Julia Child,
Trying to make it taste good,
Makes SPAM Bourguignon.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13619.
Deutsch Chef, Wolfgang Puck,
Prepares brand new German dish
SPAM und Sauerkraut.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13620.
Necrotizing SPAM
Stops the aging process....Dead!
In its tracks....Your tracks.

--Digger O'Graves

13621.
Blind date SPAM hunnie
I bumped into her downtown--
She spared me some change.

--Coleen Murphy

13622.
Mom served SPAM daily
The old man loved the pink stuff
That's why he ate SPAM

--Keep The Piece, R. Chee Bunka

13623.
Tasteless SPAMku bits
Black letters bugs on my screen
Get the Freaking Raid!

--Wayne Rodrigues, Chelsea, Ma.

13624.
SPAM: a pink liver
Vital organ in food chain
Grocery store guts

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13625.
SPAM: good hobby tool
Built an HO train layout
Called my town SPAMville

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13626.
Valentine's Day treat
Give to the dream of your life:
A heart-shaped SPAM can

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13627.
Helpful diversion
Sitting through a long meeting
Thinking up SPAMku

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13628.
New all-SPAM diet
I'm losing a lot of weight
Real bad farting, though

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13629.
SPAM and Monica
Can and dress with sticky stain
Bill Clinton loved both

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13630.
Get the blender out
Add carrot juice and some SPAM
Enjoy a smoothie

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13631.
You must talk the talk
Then go out and walk the walk
Then go fry the SPAM

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13632.
SPAM: death in blue tin
Interring of life's pink flesh
A frypan rebirth?

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13633.
Note Porky's Passing
In the anonymous tin
Like a plain white cross

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13634.
Ignorance is bliss
Think not of the origin
SPAM food denial

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13635.
Visual delight
Lay SPAM on paper towel
Translucent grease stain

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13636.
Gift or vengeful act?
Found SPAM can in my mailbox
Should I call bomb squad

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13637.
SPAM fried in butter
Dish just like Mom used to make
My nickname was "Fats"

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13638.
So, food chain justice?
SPAM made me fat as a pig
Coffin, my SPAM can?

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13639.
SPAM: robust food source
Porcine-based eating system
Download some porkware

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13640.
Play kick the SPAM can
New take on an old child's game
Play till can explodes

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13641.
SPAM: test it yourself
Throw a slice against the wall
It will stick--Really!!!!

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13642.
Telegenic food?
No media blitz for SPAM
No Super Bowl ad

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13643.
Hormel goes hippie
Brand new SPAM, made of tofu
Sold in a green can

--Cholesterol 300, boofu@mindless.com

13644.
SPAMkuer doers
Geeks, Spazzes, Nerds, and Dimwits--
Deer in the headlights.

--Rudolph D. Redd, knows rain dear

13645.
There is no SPAM here.
Get out of my GODDAMN yard!
Or I will stab you.

--Anonymous

13646.
SPAM is beautiful.
It makes me want to have sex,
sex with pigs and dogs.

--Anonymous

13647.
SPAM is illusion
Not real food at all, at all
Yet it cries, "EAT ME!"

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

13648.
SPAM is what you crave
Poke a hole plop a egg for
Soon you will be dead

--rubybegonia2213@mailcity.com

13649.
Aliens probing
a post-nuclear earth find SPAM,
allowing closure.

--Tbone4

13650.
"Crushing"'s all the rage.
The new kink in town. SPAMmers
smile. We know the score.

--Tbone4

13651.
I come to from the
car wreck smelling vapors. SPAM
can that burst saves me!

--Tbone4

13652.
Been almost a year
Since I wrote my last SPAMku.
Now I'm back again!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13653.
My last SPAMku was
Number 10518.
Nothing's changed since then.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13654.
Sober for a year
From lethal virus SPAMku.
I caught it again!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13655.
Grocery check out
Old man has five cans of SPAM?
He must be WHITE TRASH!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13656.
Who would want to buy
Stupid book full of SPAMku?
How do I get one?

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13657.
Liposuction hose
Empties straight into blue can.
Then put on store shelves.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13658.
Should get back to work.
If I get caught on the Net
No more SPAM for me.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13659.
Married August 3rd.
All we served in buffet line,
Diff'rent SPAM fried meals.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13660.
Shiny Metal Can,
Looks at me and pleads with me!
Don't eat me.....YOU'LL DIE!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13661.
Inevitable.
White trash lawn includes eight cars
That don't work and SPAM.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13662.
Salty, gooey, pink.
Sounds a little strange to me?
Oh well. I'll eat it!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13663.
What is in that can?
I can not figure it out.
Kill the cat instead.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13664.
Fry the curly tail.
Mix it with the hooves and spleen.
Add red cancer dye.

--Kent Morgan

13665.
Once upon a time,
Mama, Papa, and piglet
Chopped up together.

--Kent Morgan

13666.
what could it have been
in my undies smeared with SPAM
no explanation

--Anonymous

13667.
SPAM in my blue jeans
the girls check out my zipper
they must like my meat

--Anonymous

13668.
vegetarian
has no place in this diner
the diner of SPAM

--Anonymous

13669.
it may rack your guts
so can the trials of love
so go eat the SPAM

--Billybob

13670.
liver transplant failed
so they used a can of SPAM
invincible now

--Billybob

13671.
send flowers or SPAM
the fight was quite serious
so I send the SPAM

--Billybob

13672.
monsters in the dark
SPAM resides in the cupboard
the dark is my friend

--Billybob

13673.
SPAM crawls from the murk
it is a living breathing
force to reckon with

--Billybob

13674.
who dares insult SPAM
it is the food of the gods
though it tastes like shit

--Billybob

13675.
Prozac is best tak-
en on a full stomach. Most
Doctor's suggest SPAM.

--Tbone4

13676.
where could it have gone
the SPAM, that ungrateful SPAM
left me all alone

--Billybob

13677.
forgotten, lonely
SPAM will keep me company
silent and greasy

--Billybob

13678.
flocky pink toe jam
compressed in little tin can
more Third World relief?

--Brian C. Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

13679.
At school I wore a
SPAM shirt with some Levi shorts.
Girls thought I was hot!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13680.
Sexy can of SPAM
Sitting on the pantry shelf.
I want you right now!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13681.
What the pigs don't eat
What you don't eat of the pigs
Equals can of SPAM

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

13682.
Desolate horror
of gelatinous oozing.
Abomination.

--Abum E. Noble, anoble@abum.com

13683.
I hold the SPAM up
between the sun and my eyes
solar SPAM eclipse

--Billybob

13684.
the Y2K bug
will Hormel be compliant?
SPAM must be hoarded

--Billybob

13685.
SPAM in the sunlight
the can is hot, do not touch
it might just explode

--Anonymous

13686.
atomic winter
life is gone, only roaches
and SPAM have survived

--Billybob

13687.
SPAMoneggar speeds:
our Hero in a steel shell.
Surely he'll save us.

--Brian C. Bartley, SPAMacles@diehardSPAM.com

13688.
a coffin of tin
what was the deceased pig's name?
its name is now SPAM

--Billybob

13689.
Childhood memory:
Dad frying SPAM in the rain.
That was a breakfast!

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13690.
When I was a boy
We were so poor, we ate SPAM.
No longer, Thank God!

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13691.
I have a question.
Why so many SPAM haiku?
Are you all insane?

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13692.
Try so very hard
But can I write SPAM haiku?
I am a failure

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13693.
Summer sun has set
On day spent on SPAM haiku
I must go home now

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13694.
Summer sun setting,
Evening sky of shooting stars.
Time for SPAM haiku!

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13695.
Westward, sun has set.
To the East, the sky is dark.
Time for SPAM haiku!

--steve.casey@ibm.net

13696.
Nietzsche on cubed pork:
"What doesn't kill SPAM makes it
stronger, tastier."

--Julie M. Cox, jmcjls@earthlink.net

13697.
vomiticus SPAM
cling to the porcelain god
flush away dinner

--Billybob

13698.
key, opens it up
open blue can, please open
goodness, what a smell

--Billybob

13699.
Long dead pig head food
Testicles maybe even
No worse than Big Mac

--kent Morgan

13700.
Can you eat the SPAM
Does it taste like a gay man
Go get a tan man

--Dave K., cpruitt825@earthlink.net


Move forwards to Numbers 13701-13800.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.