SPAM Haiku 13901-14000

Move backwards to Numbers 13801-13900.

13901.
Rosebud! cried Orson.
None could figure out, t'was his
Childhood can of SPAM.

--Mark Brill (aka Hot-Dog Boy), mebrill@ucdavis.edu

13902.
Hitch was scared of birds.
They soar above with hunger,
View us as pink meat.

--Mark Brill (aka Hot-Dog Boy), mebrill@ucdavis.edu

13903.
Hannibal Lecter
Was force-fed SPAM as a child
Now he likes liver

--Mark Brill (aka Hot-Dog Boy), mebrill@ucdavis.edu

13904.
Sitcoms are rampant,
Glossy, shiny, full of tripe--
SPAM of the airwaves.

--Mark Brill (aka Hot-Dog Boy), mebrill@ucdavis.edu

13905.
Writers are disdain'd
Effects conquer'd Hollywood
Movies are now SPAM

--Mark Brill (aka Hot-Dog Boy), mebrill@ucdavis.edu

13906.
Mallspeak rules our teens,
they, uh, you know, uh, like, turn
Shakespeare into SPAM.

--Mark Brill (aka Hot-Dog Boy), mebrill@ucdavis.edu

13907.
George Dub won't tell past
Early SPAM use--a mistake.
But did he inhale?

--Mark Brill aka Hot-Dog Boy, mebrill@ucdavis.edu

13908.
A tip: God spans maps,
cans meat : deified team-snac
SPAM, snaps dog pita.

--Mark Brill aka Palindrome Boy, mebrill@ucdavis.edu

13909.
Live on, O Devil
Snac! Deliver reviled cans!
Live! Do no evil!

--Mark Brill aka Palindrome Boy, mebrill@ucdavis.edu

13910.
Y2K terror:
Refrigeration absent
SPAM deliverance

--Matt

13911.
"I am discouraged,"
says student. Master replies,
"Encourage others."

--to eat SPAM of course!, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13912.
Squirrels, possum, and
mice think "pink salt lick in tin."
Forest friends always.

--justy, justene@earthlink.net

13913.
Prince Charming loves SPAM.
Oh! To be all pink and fat,
So he'd love me, too.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13914.
My salty sunshine
Cloisonnés the porcelain bowl
Works of fart your ass!

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

13915.
Liquify some SPAM.
Pour it over peach ice cream.
Eat it if you dare.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13916.
I sit in wonder
I smell the deep wet thunder
Bronx Cheers from Hormel.

--Ho' Mel, Melanie@icunet.com

13917.
Halloween comes soon.
Kids will ask us, "Trick or treat."
Trick 'em. Give 'em SPAM.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13918.
Johnny's all dressed up
In his Halloween costume.
He's a can of SPAM.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13919.
Mr. Holyfield
Should he fight Tyson again
Wants SPAM on his ears

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13920.
Brothers and sisters
Question not what, where, or why--
Eat like pigs, like SPAM.

--D.ogs O.vereaters A.nonymous, doa@queennet.com

13921.
Cherry blossomed rash
Embroided round my bung hole--
Kisses are my balm.

--Fowley Odiferous, frisco@cadisco.com

13922.
Hepatitis D--
It lurks in cuts from SPAM cans.
Please get tested soon!

--Reed Monroe

13923.
George W. Bush
dogged by questions of SPAM use,
drops out of the race.

--Reed Monroe

13924.
But McCain's out too.
Admits Viet Cong forced him
to play SPAM roulette.

--Reed Monroe

13925.
Hey, is Al Gore clean?
Nope. Mount Rainier provisions
included blue cans.

--Reed Monroe

13926.
SPAM is at UMASS
I am the kid that every
One wants to be like

--SPAM At Umass, CheersSPAM@aol.com

13927.
Breakdown imminent.
Prozac, Xanex, not helping.
So scared. SPAM save me!

--Tbone4, @webtv.net

13928.
Fast food chain is closed.
They went out of business quick
When they served McSPAM.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13929.
Eating pink chaos...
I ponder its creation.
What the hell is this?

--Leir Vesuvien, Leir06@aol.com

13930.
A life in chaos,
Krispy Kreme doughnuts and SPAM.
Judge orders rehab.

--Junkyard God

13931.
SPAM smear won't wipe off!!!
I learn to see things anew.
Rose tinted glasses.

--Junkyard God

13932.
Hey, try smoking SPAM.
C'mon, everyone does it.
Crack is for pussies.

--Junkyard God

13933.
SPAM festival? Cool!!
Running of the pigs winner
kisses the SPAM Queen.

--Junkyard God

13934.
Woke up this morning
SPAM breath after a wild night.
No need for mouthwash.

--Junkyard God

13935.
Must not eat it now
I must resist urge to gorge
Chicklet toenail hurts

--Damien Katz, damien_katz@iris.com

13936.
nella Buddhita'
dal tetto vista mare
dappertutto SPAM

--giorgio giorgi

13937.
green eggs and real ham?
please give me green eggs and SPAM
two over easy

--Anonymous

13938.
SPAM slime: What is it...
Unknown stuff defies science
Fifth state of matter

--Hellion

13939.
A salty pink flesh--
Livid, homogeneous:
Is it edible?

--Hellion

13940.
Blue steel porcine doom,
Eternal freshness assured.
Look out, Y2K!

--Hellion

13941.
Whoosh! The rush of air
releases the aroma.
I think I feel sick.

--Hellion

13942.
Slimy block of meat:
Fearful, I nibble at it.
Hey, this stuff's not bad!

--Hellion

13943.
SPAM: Hormel's black sheep...
Marketing in a frenzy:
Tout as "Pork shoulder"?

--Hellion

13944.
Vilified pink meat--
"Come on, try some!" I tell guests.
They all run screaming.

--Hellion

13945.
Slimy, salty brick;
Indescribable texture.
What the hell is it?

--Hellion

13946.
Nervous disorder...
SPAM haiku rules my life now.
Help me, I can't stop!

--Hellion

13947.
Anxious, I can't sleep.
Behold pink apparition.
SPAM angel comforts.

--Tbone4, Teabone4@webtv.net

13948.
I tip my hat to
the 'kuers who quill multi-
consecutive riffs.

--Tbone4

13949.
Did glue. Quit. Did booze.
Quit. Weed. Quit. Coke. Quit. Horse. Quit
Chasing the SPAM now!

--Tbone4

13950.
pink goo of the gods
Abe Vigoda loved it so
bite it, suck it, yum

--travis york, revolut11@aol.com

13951.
after serving tea
I scrape plates over the bin
so much SPAM is lost

--perkin@freeuk.com

13952.
deep beneath the sods
bodies of ancestors lie
much like SPAM perhaps

--perkin@freeuk.com

13953.
time now for action
the body oiled and shining
anointed with SPAM

--perkin@freeuk.com

13954.
procrastination
unable to start eating
I lick the jelly

--perkin@freeuk.com

13955.
Still how the rain falls
Somerset's fields of red clay
Are shining like SPAM

--perkin@freeuk.com

13956.
blender without lid
SPAM is flying everywhere
I didn't inhale

--perkin@freeuk.com

13957.
Searching in SPAM cans
for a sign of any kind.
Each tin like the last.

--perkin@freeuk.com

13958.
Pink meat so piggly
Neither solid nor liquid
Hot cold or as is

--Anonymous

13959.
cold sores pink and hot
like lunch meat i eat a lot
no coincidence

--Greenmonster, revolut11@aol.com

13960.
the menu called it
an antipasto misto
in fact it was SPAM

--perkin@freeuk.com

13961.
commonplace it is
ordinary luncheon meat
what fascination

--perkin@freeuk.com

13962.
From blue unto pink
Room temperature it becomes
A smile on my plate

--kiyotei, kiyotei@access1.net

13963.
Millennium bug?
How compliant is your food?
SPAM is ready now.

--Kent Morgan

13964.
cold SPAM with warm bud
laxative for trailer trash
Sunday morning hell

--otto

13965.
SPAM is soylent green
in a sporty little can
my tongue must obey

--otto

13966.
my girl tastes like SPAM
left open on the cupboard
mustard does the trick

--otto

13967.
little piggie parts
taste better coming back up
SPAM on russian rye

--otto

13968.
watching speed racer
my mommy made me eat SPAM
so I killed the bitch

--otto

13969.
SPAM: pig's nemesis.
Wait, did I say nemesis?
I meant emesis.

--Reed Monroe

13970.
Quayle--and SPAM on plate.
How alike? Both are now out,
but they're Standing Firm.

--Reed Monroe

13971.
Millennium here.
What is left to eat for me?
SPAM to the rescue.

--dan

13972.
Run home for dinner
SPAM in the pan--Mom's sly smile--
Tells us it's snakemeat

--Diana

13973.
Snakemeat in a can?
Question it not--SPAM is the
fright'ning truth--Thanks mom.

--Diana

13974.
The SPAM is my meat
My index finger sticks out
Of your sandwich roll

--Anonymous

13975.
Oooh eat the meat now
Oooh baybee, eat it, eat it
The way I likes it

--Anonymous

13976.
I yam what I yam
What I yam it be the SPAM
That's all that I yam

--Anonymous

13977.
SPAMagoric dreams
Optima/Recti visions--
Life in breakdown lanes

--Trooper Bloop

13978.
Bull boys and cow girls
Keep their lips moist with Hormel--
SPAM makes their chaps stick.

--Trooper Bloop

13979.
I love you Hil'ry
Your SPAM thighs and lying tongue
Elephant dung queen

--Yolanda

13980.
Mottled pink gelled flesh
Blocky oozing pustulence
Some disrepect you

--Anonymous

13981.
The days of our lives
Are like SPAM through the hour glass
Greasing our pathways.

--Digger O'Dell, Nya ha haa!

13982.
Brake fluid and SPAM
Redneck Sunday breakfast treats--
Chase your sister good!

--Smokey Joe

13983.
Pretty SPAM mouse pad
Slick as a snot on door knob--
Finger lickin' good

--Bud Uglee, ibu@pm.com

13984.
SPAM can grow on you
Good food in a rotting world
Like mushrooms on dung

--Horace Goviner

13985.
We ate SPAM daily
At the nervous hospital
And drank from toilets.

--Lotus Blossom

13986.
Father Abraham
Sire to legions of Arabs
No foodstamps, no SPAM

--Ho Lee Moses

13987.
Nothing can help me
I stand in line at Hormel
On bloody red stumps

--Petunia

13988.
My SPAM's named "Porky"
Me thinks it should be "Trigger"
And you Bubs, eat it!

--Diana Rhea

13989.
5 0 to Chelsea
I'd rather eat SPAM all day
Even though it's shit

--Fordy

13990.
Cool summer breeze blows
As I sit waiting for it.
Yummy plate o' SPAM.

--Wayne Rudner, rudner@pobox.com

13991.
Asleep at the switch
Critical mass of hot pork
A SPAM volcano

--Son of FDH

13992.
Who's responsible
For the burning SPAM horror
Monkey Spankin' Boy

--Anonymous

13993.
Tumescent pink mass
Quivering in my hot palm
Better than girls, SPAM

--Tim

13994.
He begs me for SPAM
I submit to his wishes
Global now my shame

--Tim

13995.
SPAM e-mails corrupt,
Mindlessness weighs body down:
Salvation through gin.

--Carl C.

13996.
Woman in man trapped,
Surgery releases her:
Should have eaten SPAM.

--Carl C.

13997.
eyes on fleshy meat
yes mom i'm doing homework
brown eyes and pink thoughts

--amber, fyerstarter44@prodigy.net

13998.
I'm so happy SPAM.
Your hog parts make me whole friend.
My life is on track!

--Tbone4, Teabone4@webtv.net

13999.
The thing is, sometimes
I can't get it up. SPAM res-
cues me. I perform!

--Tbone4

14000.
The millennium's
cool. Not as cool as SPAM-Ku's
entry 14K.

--Tbone4