SPAM Haiku 14601-14700

Move backwards to Numbers 14501-14600.

14601.
I moved to Europe
Can't find SPAM across the pond
Back to the U.S.!

--Ben Tallen, btallen@earthling.net

14602.
Monday, as I surf
Online is the SPAM-ku page
I can work no more

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14603.
Never ate SPAM, but
Having read SPAMku archives
Not sure I want to

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14604.
O'SPAM-o-weh, O...
In mighty Pinkie jungle
Lions die tonight

--Brian Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

14605.
Online with Pink Hat
All icons are pinkish cubes
My SPAMix O.S.

--Brian Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

14606.
Cast your SPAM upon
the waters * it will return
rancid and still pink.

--BCB, bcb@SPAMpsalms

14607.
Greasy pink dreadlocks...
Or is it spaghetti-pie?
Rasta SPAM Pasta!

--Brian Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

14608.
Hormel makes changes:
Pink nutricious(???) dentifrice...
Monofluoro SPAM

--Brian Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

14609.
Pink tube a penny!
One last time brushing for poor
Lenny DuKenney

--Brian Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

14610.
Pain relieving cream
So improved my evening meal
SPAM and balm BenGay

--Ben Gastrotormenti, BenG@methylsalicylSPAM.com

14611.
Altogether PINK
Coats stomach but does not soothe
Ah! SPAMto Bismol

--Ben Bismuth, BenB@SPAMuthSubsalicylate.com

14612.
My intellect is
derived chiefly from my brain's
composition: SPAM.

--Fozzie

14613.
I like to spread SPAM
on almost everything: bread,
cake, denim, spiders . . .

--Fozzie

14614.
. . . hair, traffic signals,
etcet'ra. But I spread SPAM
on you with regret.

--Fozzie

14615.
SPAM I adore you
my tastebuds tingle for you
take me, take me now

--John Larrigan, jaylarigan@hotmail.com

14616.
Ahead of your time;
In a hundred years, all food
Will be just like SPAM

--TFBW

14617.
Oh durable SPAM
Canned on the day I was born
Shows no sign of age

--TFBW

14618.
Only Jeff Stryker
in a cold shower has more
shrinkage then fried SPAM.

--Eleanore of Aquitaine, EleanoreX@aol.com

14619.
Get SPAM while it's hot
Luncheon meat ready to eat
Pork, ham, chicken parts

--Kristy Munson, kristymunson@hotmail.com

14620.
My dog would eat SPAM,
Gluten-glutton, he would be.
Oh no! Call the vet!

--Nonnie

14621.
Ford had Edsel, and
Grunenthal, thalidomide.
So? Hormel makes SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14622.
globular pink meat
packaged in a tin can, what?
my cat won't eat it

--funcrusher@myworldmail.com

14623.
Why do y'all eat SPAM
I don't cuz sam I is not
What is SPAM made of

--Jason McKinnon, BigJP2@hotmail.com

14624.
I long for this meat
Sitting sweetly on my plate
Yes! it is you, SPAM

--SPAMCrAzY

14625.
Mystery of SPAM!
Is my SPAM some unknown thing?
Or is it just meat?

--SPAMCrAzY

14626.
A host's dilemma:
What do you serve with SPAM? Red,
white, or ipecac?

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14627.
We devour SPAM, pigs
wallow in our sewage: food
chain comes full circle.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14628.
Anticipation
I eat SPAM; I feel no change
Anticlimactic

--TFBW

14629.
Be SPAM or not SPAM?
Shakespearian questioning
Of little Hamlet?

--Anonymous

14630.
My jaw is broken
If I smoosh it for awhile
I could use a straw!

--Anonymous

14631.
Are pre-born piglets
resting in the coffin can
silently screaming?

--J-Mag

14632.
Eye and snout and ear
Other parts not meant for food.
A grisly morsel!

--Anonymous

14633.
What magic process
That turns the inedible
Into a SPAM treat

--Anonymous

14634.
O porcine treasure,
Sphinxlike and blush-innocent--
Give up your secrets!

--w taylor

14635.
Some say life arose
from the primordial ooze.
Not true: it was SPAM.

--Alex Wild

14636.
Y2K is here
I wonder if I can sell
My SPAM on eBay

--Anonymous

14637.
If I had some SPAM
I could build a pink castle
Then I could eat it

--Anonymous

14638.
Pink goo in a can?
Oh sign of Apocalypse!
J. Falwell was right.

--Alex Wild

14639.
Pink stain marks the dress.
Bill denies Monica, but
Sneaks out to buy SPAM.

--Alex Wild

14640.
Dribbling SPAM down the
floor, he shoots the trey . . . Count it!
March Madness, baby!

--Fozzie

14641.
The key opens up . . .
slice down the lane . . . elevate . . .
throw it down . . . SPAM DUNK!

--Fozzie

14642.
Inside A Blue Tin
Digested In Thirteen Months
Mighty Ham Grenade

--Al Speltz

14643.
3-D dreams of SPAM
Mattresses soaked with SPAM goop
Hey! Smell my moustache!

--Moldi Kakes

14644.
To eat cans of SPAM
Makes one move very slowly
like my greasy dad.

--Alissa

14645.
Blasphemous haiku
you vicious SPAM slanderers.
Shame! Secret eaters.

--S. Anthony

14646.
Cigarette crushed out
My lover sleeps beside me
I compose SPAM-ku

--S. Anthony

14647.
Thousands of SPAM-ku
let us revere SPAM, our muse
inciting such art

--S. Anthony

14648.
Nude And On My Plate
Shake That Pork Product, Baby
Dance for me SPAM, Dance

--Johnny Mopp

14649.
Sebaceous Pre-formed
Artificial Meat: Oh, yes!
So appetizing.

--Reggie Bignose, eatmySPAM@once.ca

14650.
the call of tin-tin
a german shepherd? herge?
an empty SPAMoch

--Anonymous

14651.
SPAM workers on strike
Union calls boycott, strike done
Can't stop the boycott

--Tavis Barr, tavis.barr@columbia.edu

14652.
SPAM eating contest
Winner wolfs ten cans, next day
SPAM digests stomach

--Tavis Barr, tavis.barr@columbia.edu

14653.
8000 A.D.
SPAM-eating city unearthed.
Preserved perfectly.

--Tavis Barr, tavis.barr@columbia.edu

14654.
SPAM baseball fever
Home run innards spray on crowd
Popcorn you can wear

--Tavis Barr, tavis.barr@columbia.edu

14655.
Bridge the universe
With a gelatinous block
A Simple SPAM Span

--Dave Johnson, planchkpro@aol.com

14656.
what parallels; like
the SPAM itself, these poems are
STILL HERE! No spoilage!

--Screamin' Phil Erickson, pje@haystack.mit.edu

14657.
Gigantic Mountain
Buzzing around the small hill
Summer is over

--Anonymous

14658.
gelatinous glob,
i love you simply because
you resemble mom

--Byronamoose

14659.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
my husband loves yummy SPAM
SPAM goddess am i

--SPAM goddess (wife of the illustrious leader), SPAMgoddess@SPAMline.com

14660.
Between your pink flesh
and gelatinous meat is
viscera of life

--sandra seaman, prrowl@hotmail.com

14661.
Our stinging lips touch
Salt and SPAM add flavor here
Though you don't eat meat

--sandra seaman, prrowl@hotmail.com

14662.
Ridicule is here
The essence of nostalgia
Sad and soft and pink

--sandra seaman, prrowl@hotmail.com

14663.
SPAMless weeks roll by.
Eventually I see I
can suffer no more.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14664.
A key, a can. . .oh!
A trail of slime. . .oh my God!
"Naked SPAM Found Dead!"

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14665.
SPAM spring sale starts soon.
I pretend not to notice.
Haven't slept in weeks!

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14666.
Jelly, tootsie bits,
hunks of butt, and piggie tits.
Dreams are made of these.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14667.
Frustrated I stare
Blue and pink submission form
SPAM-ku writers' block

--TFBW

14668.
Frankenstein's monster
Always packs a can of SPAM
To fashion spare parts.

--B. Karloff

14669.
Going to college
next year. Will be poor, plan to
eat my weight in SPAM.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14670.
Choosing my college
is based on proximity
to Austin for job.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14671.
While filling FAFSA
government asks if I like
SPAM. I panic!!! No.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14672.
SAR comes back.
Government knows I lied. I
am denied Pell Grants.

--Captain Obvious, captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14673.
Devastation sets
in. I sit in a corner
and binge on SPAM loaf.

--Captain Obvious, captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14674.
After gathering
my wits I enroll in a
college near Austin.

--Captain Obvious, captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14675.
My roommate hates SPAM.
I drop out because of his
alienation.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14676.
After dropping out
I become SPAM junkie. I
quit my job to eat.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14677.
I lose my house, my
car, my girlfriend, but I still
have my SPAM cravings.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14678.
I quit eating SPAM
and started smoking instead.
Develop bad cough.

--Captain Obvious, Captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14679.
Family finds me
in a gutter, dead, with SPAM
joint between my teeth.

--Captain Obvious, captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14680.
Death report states that
I died of a "Sodium
Nitrate overdose."

--Captain Obvious, Captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14681.
My tombstone reads, "He
who lies here was a lover
of Hormel SPiced hAM."

--Captain Obvious, Captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14682.
Eat it day or night
Rub it on me with delight
Oh SPAM I love you!

--SPAMbo

14683.
He Invented SPAM
She: "Marry Me, Meat Master!"
Little Man, Big Meat

--Johnny Mopp

14684.
reeking smelly crap
just a bunch of nasty fat
makes my poop turn green

--matt teusch, weezer1698aol.com

14685.
This SPAM is nasty
Do you know where it came from?
Is it safe to eat?

--JOEL CRISMAN, MHAHOTBOY@AOL.COM

14686.
I really like SPAM
It is not a joke for me
SPAM is swell foodstuff

--Ember

14687.
weightily encased
laden pink, trapped in the can
where the key release?

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14688.
it stands so alone.
all try to compare, none close;
SPAM: perfect porky

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14689.
Armies go marching
Food, glorious food--what's this?
SPAM! They all walk on.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14690.
It is bad hair day.
No gel, no mousse, and no spray!
Grab the can of SPAM.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14691.
Want hand job, mister?
No need--pink, porky, perfect. . .
reach towards the SPAM.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14692.
Chickens run--Dinner!
Do not reject farm co-hort,
here chick, chick, chick--SPAM!

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14693.
Inhale the fragrance,
observe the color of sex,
swallow juice of--SPAM.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14694.
Dirty pinkness, Oh!
Scalding evacuation;
Color the Charmin.

--Andy Cavallari

14695.
favor pinkish pig
smile upon cubes of salt flesh
communion of SPAM

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14696.
Cut thin, sides jointed,
slick with can juice and jelly,
lie under sheet SPAM.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14697.
emergency food?
dream rations?--sell the shelf life,
SPAM: food for 'morrow.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14698.
Porcines aspire to
the ever-life of steel tin,
eternal preserve.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14699.
A fleshy peep-show!
Jig'ling, wet, tumescent meat--
Look! Turn SPAM key more!

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14700.
In. Out. In and out.
Slip-slide, in, out, juices spurt,
SPAM has left the can.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com