SPAM Haiku 14801-14900

Move backwards to Numbers 14701-14800.

14801.
my booty itches
what the heck? SPAM is that you?
no, I'm making bread

--MILHOUSE

14802.
my dad goes to church,
but understands my choices.
SPAMosexual.

--MILHOUSE

14803.
The foul, stink it is
My can, in the can is my
dog named jimmy-pop

--Clayton, solipsis795@splatsearch.com

14804.
SPAM, I sing thy praise:
Long pig by any other
Name would taste the same.

--Tim Condon, tim@free-market.net

14805.
SPAM can smell like lamb
It can look like your friend Sam
But it is no ham

--Jennica, ncluvr1212@hotmail.com

14806.
My friend Sam likes SPAM
Even though she can't eat ham
She don't give a damn

--Jenn, Jenn7620@yahoo.com

14807.
key on side of can
no opener required here
find treasure within

--melissa reynolds

14808.
My generation,
Our heads filled with poetry
Our stomachs with SPAM.

--perkin@freeuk.com

14809.
See the guy push the
Pig into the meat grinder.
Hey, look. It's some SPAM.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14810.
The essence of joy
Is pink and comes in blue cans.
Stomach growls again.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14811.
Once there was a pig
Who wanted to gain much fame.
It now lives in cans.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14812.
I sit at PC
Should I waste my time on spam?
Hell yes... pass the SPAM.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14813.
I'm quite good at this--
Should take creative writing.
It's really lots of ______.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14814.
So the last word of
My last poem was supposed to
Be "fun." OK, done.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14815.
One two three four five
One two three four five six se-
ven. Just checking, SPAM!

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14816.
I don't understand.
Why, when I burp, do I get
Aftertaste of SPAM?

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14817.
I do my homework.
Sometimes. But when I'm hungry,
I can't. I need SPAM.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14818.
I have a secret.
Never throughout my whole life
Have I tried some SPAM.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14819.
So much depends on
the little key on the can,
and the waiting tab.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14820.
Foil between the pipes,
the SPAM cooks slowly on the
intake manifold.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14821.
My Need: Exercise.
My Appearance: just like SPAM.
My Goal: Lizard Hips!!

--Carl, Swineboy@FatPig.Oink

14822.
Like Cher it will keep
on the shelf for many years,
it is found! Preserved!

--jay, jerry@lakecharles.com

14823.
Backwoods SPAM horror
Actors get deliverance
Squeal like a pig, boy!

--dave slade, dslade@tvnz.co.nz

14824.
tortured teenagers
dream of pink scar-faced monster
nightmare on SPAM street

--dave slade

14825.
Motley drilling crew
blows up huge pink asteroid.
SPAMMAGEDDON flops.

--Dave Slade

14826.
SPAM planet explodes
Pink baby escapes to earth
Becomes "SUPERSPAM"

--Dave Slade

14827.
Orwellian pigs
take over the farm and make
SPAM out of humans.

--Dave slade

14828.
Gently licking SPAM
comes a very close second
to proper foreplay.

--Dave Slade

14829.
Martian probe reports
"No intelligent life here"
Finding can of SPAM

--Dave Slade

14830.
Joseph imprisoned
by brothers jealous of his
many colored SPAM.

--Bible Boy

14831.
Disgusting, dif'rent
Packaged "meat" but not quite meat
"Ready to eat" "Nah"

--Lara, Lara09126@hotmail.com

14832.
Jonah in the whale
Cries out aloud "Lord, help me
I know how SPAM feels!"

--Bible Boy

14833.
I admire la SPAM
Different and exciting
Yet really scary

--Jenara, IssueZ7620@hotmail.com

14834.
The forbidden food
Or at least it should be called
Dirty, grody SPAM

--Jennica, ncluvr1212@hotmail.com

14835.
The world's first woman,
naked, holds a can of SPAM.
Eve tempting Adam.

--Bible Boy

14836.
Moses warns Pharaoh
"A plague of SPAM on Egypt"
Jewish slaves set free

--Bible Boy

14837.
Perfect, pink, and square.
Does anyone have a spare?
My SPAM is missing.

--Karen, clubcarp2@hotmail.com

14838.
When the pink slab comes
I feel, now, the urge to hurl
I am disgusted

--Lara, lara09126@hotmail.com

14839.
As the waters rise
There's two SPAM tins on the Ark.
Noah's big mistake.

--Bible Boy

14840.
slimy pink and mushed
stinky prepacked art master
artificial meat

--Bobby, Mysticblaze94@cs.com

14841.
Snows of Kambara
A lone traveller holds close
His cloak, and his loaf

--rpahk

14842.
The SPAM-ku homepage
gives meaning and purpose to
our sad boring lives.

--Chuck Beard

14843.
five syllables here
seven syllables here now
do not mention SPAM

--Chuck Beard

14844.
I think your fans would
be willing to donate to
get spamku dot com.

--Chuck Beard

14845.
In another world
A man gets a masp message
It's not spelled spam there.

--Chuck Beard

14846.
if sodium was
an addictive drug SPAM sales
would go through the roof

--Chuck Beard

14847.
Guam natives rejoice
Canned pink meat from Uncle Sam
Tastes like Auntie Pam

--Anonymous

14848.
The chill yet bracing
mist . . . the rusting blue can . . . the
damp decaying leaves.

--Fred R. Pletcher, fpletcher@blgcanada.com

14849.
Burger King crisis
Millions have to be recalled
Deadly PoKeSPAM

----Cure 81.9

14850.
Call HAZMAT team STAT
ER's crammed full of victims
SPAM gelatin spill

----Cure 81.9

14851.
SPAM comes in a can
Goes good with everything
Hard to stop eating

--Nathan Powers, natetureboy7@juno.com

14852.
The many flavors
You can't believe it is meat
It is hard to beat

--Nathan Powers, natetureboy7@juno.com

14853.
It is pink and smooth
The junky meat in a can
You know it is SPAM

--Nathan Powers, natetureboy7@juno.com

14854.
i eyeball the can
so listless intrigued hungry
today SPAM will die

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14855.
SPAM and mac and cheese
the prisoner's last request
guards all licked the plate

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14856.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Wibble Wobble Wubble Wum
Bad Smells Emanate

--Froglips, little-sense-big-mouth@zip-a-dee-doo-dah.co.uk

14857.
yo yo SPAM SPAM SPAM
have to eat the lamb lamb lamb
pass the ham ham ham

--fugan, fugan81@hotmail.com

14858.
Schwarzenegger stars
in a new cyborg movie:
The SPAMinator.

--Chuck Beard

14859.
SPAM, stick, fire, roast, eat,
so many primal urges
satisfied at once.

--Chuck Beard

14860.
Secret martial art
Finding a SPAM fu sensei
Is a worthy quest

--Chuck Beard

14861.
If SPAM were not here,
what would we call unwanted
electronic mail?

--Chuck Beard

14862.
Soapbox rhetoric
Long live the SPAMalution!
Streetcorner crazies

--Chuck Beard

14863.
No one expected
The SPAMish Inquisition
To seek meat sins here

--Chuck Beard

14864.
reckless bon vivants
our motto is carpe SPAM
we seek adventure

--Chuck Beard

14865.
War atrocities
SPAM bombs ruled inhumane by
Geneva Accords

--Chuck Beard

14866.
SPAM jerky has an
unprecedented shelf life
for long-term storage.

--Chuck Beard

14867.
Comic book hero
SPAM Man is invincible
Foes fear his SPAM Blast

--Chuck Beard

14868.
What about SPAM Lite,
smoke flavor, or turkey? They
should not be ignored.

--Chuck Beard

14869.
liquid SPAM in tank
hot and cold SPAM on tap for
all your dining needs

--Chuck Beard

14870.
once upon a time
sunsets conjured apricot
SPAM altered my world

--scott debie, jonah64@hotmail.com

14871.
X marks the spot. I
dig obsessively. Must find
buried SPAM. Must find.

--Fozzie

14872.
Blind date swallows SPAM
loaves whole. "Self," I think, "Good thing
you learned the Heimlich."

--Fozzie

14873.
One, Two, Three, Four, SPAM
Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, SPAM
Twelve, Thirteen, SPAM, SPAM!

--Nathan Powers, natetureboy7@juno.com

14874.
Deep blue, bright yellow.
The square form stands ready in
my steady cross-hairs.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14875.
I Do Love The SPAM
The Eighth Wonder of the World
The Delicious Meat!

--Nathan Powers, natureboy7@juno.com

14876.
stokely management
odd-shaped building at u.t.
looks like can of SPAM

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14877.
Join our SPAM cafe
Come and hear us read SPAMku
End night with SPAM fight

--Sue&Kathy, vinkat@erols.com

14878.
oh she cried aloud
fanning the covers in bed
more reprocessed SPAM

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14879.
if SPAM were john prine
would it have to tour so much
SPAM should just stay SPAM

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14880.
i'm the talisman
i hold the key to the SPAM
that is who i am

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14881.
craig likes SPAM most cold
warm it just runs right through him
winter is SPAM time

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14882.
SPAMcakes for breakfast
SPAMburgers on buns for lunch
SPAM roast for dinner

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14883.
Marvel the SPAM can!
Admire its shape and its size!
And the meat inside!

--Nathan Powers, natetureboy7@juno.com

14884.
The wonderful SPAM!
SPAM is the other white meat
It's a tasty treat

--Nathan Powers, natureboy7@juno.com

14885.
once upon a time
sunsets conjured apricot
pre-SPAM aesthetic

--scott

14886.
Pink is a pleasure
Please press in a clove tonight
Hot, delicious SPAM!

--Nancy B

14887.
I smell the meat stench
the processed hoof ear hair dick
I'm home again, SPAM

--Garetha, garethaspanklin@hotmail.com

14888.
Composing SPAMku
makes cubicle's drudgery
bearable again.

--Chuck Beard

14889.
SPAM is made from pork
In the Witness Protection
Program, do not tell

--Chuck Beard

14890.
load potato gun
with SPAM cylinders instead
of spuds, watch the fun

--Chuck Beard

14891.
Experimental
SPAM armor was a failure
Ouch, back to Kevlar

--Chuck Beard

14892.
Artificial SPAM
flavor is an idea
whose time has now come.

--Chuck Beard

14893.
Army SPAM rations
have very long shelf lives but
have caused mutinies.

--Chuck Beard

14894.
The Sporg are here, "You
will be asSPAMilated"
is their battle cry.

--Chuck Beard

14895.
My lover rips one
Gack! SPAM fart! I wretch and roll
Between our clean sheets.

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14896.
Fry SPAM in Crisco;
Serve it with cheese and mayo.
I hate my husband.

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14897.
I twirl in my dress
And pearls, hair done, long nails, proud
Of my SPAM Souffle.

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14898.
I used to like SPAM,
But every day? Is my wife
trying to kill me?

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14899.
My wife twirls in pearls.
Thoroughly in love with me.
I ate her SPAM dish.

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14900.
I came out today!
The Monkey is off my back.
That's right, I eat SPAM!

--tbone4