SPAM Haiku 15801-15900

Move backwards to Numbers 15701-15800.


15801.
Unwanted email
Filling up my inbox tray
Oh! Wrong kind of spam.
--Curtis Bennett, die_kluge@hotmail.com

15802.
A crystal blue lake
A strike! I have caught a fish!
SPAM makes good fish bait.

--Curtis Bennett, die_kluge@hotmail.com

15803.
Elected leaders
decided pig farms are in
YOUR best interests!

--Milford Pigboy

15804.
Dedication of
pig farm: can't find a rabbi
to give the blessing.

--Milford Pigboy

15805.
Ants gather around
Feast upon this meaty mass
I watch them explode

--Tom, kg4cyx@yahoo.com

15806.
"SPAM? You... you eat it?"
"Mmm, mmm. Except in Lent! I'm
a good Catholic."

--Milford Pigboy

15807.
O Lucifer be
at my service for love of
the other Pink Meat.

--Milford Pigboy

15808.
The defective SPAM
must now be consigned to the
purifying flame!

--Bernardo Gui

15809.
Necromancers seek
the ultimate vile ichor
unholy SPAM goo

--Chuck Beard

15810.
fresh SPAM gelatin
harvested by a virgin
for evil magicks

--Chuck Beard

15811.
G.I. Joe once said,
"Knowing is half the battle."
The other half? SPAM!

--Fozzie

15812.
Lilies in the field
Sun setting on a clear lake
I vomit up SPAM

--Curtis Bennett, die_kluge@hotmail.com

15813.
Nostalgia dreams of
perfect Norman Rockwell home;
cheery Mom serves SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15814.
The bloody-eyed and
cloven-hoofed Antichrist was
inventor of SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15815.
history finished,
we live now without belief
but SPAM does not change

--perkin@freeuk.com

15816.
Al has the eyes of
a girl seeking intercourse
with the devil's SPAM.

--Pat Robertson

15817.
SPAM is delicious
If you're extremely hungry
But I prefer beef.

--Tinkerbell

15818.
Great lies: "Check is in
mail," "I won't come in your mouth,"
"Pig lagoons don't leak!"

--Milford Pigboy

15819.
lose weight before noon
first make SPAMcakes for breakfast
lose weight before noon

--minnie, minnimi21@netscape.net

15820.
the summer, the sun;
a beautiful blonde-haired girl;
smells of love, and SPAM

--Brian A., bcallen@umich.edu

15821.
A tribute: to pigs
who give their lives so that we,
through SPAM, share their pain.

--Brian A., bcallen@umich.edu

15822.
O, SPAM's like lost love:
Both strange and mysterious;
both stink like dead pork.

--Brian A.

15823.
Love, charity, truth,
prudence, SPAM haiku... against
these there is no law.

--St. Paul (transcribed by Brian A.)

15824.
Menudo, haggis,
scrapple, SPAM: byproducts by
any other name.

--Milford Pigboy

15825.
Life of misery
Hairless, pink, clovenhooved, blind
Blue can of remains

--fwed

15826.
How beautiful are
the pigs just before they are
processed into SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15827.
Such sweet music they
make hanging from hooks as life
blood drains from slit throats.

--Milford Pigboy

15828.
ask any mermaid
you happen to see, SPAM is
dolphin friendly meat

--eugene yamashiro, yamashir@earthlink.net

15829.
small boy sniff pink meat
magical meal, hot in pan
happy breakfast time

--eugene yamashiro, yamashir@earthlink.net

15830.
Poor Lovecraft tastes SPAM
Amorphous Eldritch meat-blob
Great Cthulhu is born

--Joe Dackman

15831.
Disappearing cats
Pit bull wrongfully accused
Hormel plant nearby!

--Joe Dackman

15832.
Ozzy Osborne bit
heads off many bats and birds
but still won't touch SPAM!

--Joe Dackman

15833.
Sacrament of SPAM
we partake, and then we pray
to porcelain god.

--Joe Dackman

15834.
Miracle of SPAM
everlasting, eternal
denies entropy.

--Joe Dackman

15835.
To increase value
of home, enclose in cocoon
of SPAM bricks. Sells fast!

--Fozzie

15836.
Also, insulate
your home with SPAM. Energy
saving food storage!

--Fozzie

15837.
Last, fill waterbed
with SPAM. It may smell greasy,
but man, it's comfy!

--Fozzie

15838.
pork teeth, pig assholes,
ham cocks, hog eyes to see with,
flatulent blue can

--buck toothed freak, buck toothed freak.com

15839.
truck loads of hot SPAM
gleaming on god's highway dawn
dead indians galore

--jim morrison, i'm not dead yet@msn .com

15840.
SPAM gleams in the morn'.
We yearn for that pinkly meat,
trailer-girl and me.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15841.
Pink goo twinkles in
the Florida sun through my
mobile home window.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15842.
Spent welfare check on:
Ripple, Schlitz, Wild Irish Rose.
Just SPAM in cupboard.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15843.
The crinkle of tin.
The pork twinkles softly there.
My intestines cramp.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15844.
Out the airlock, SPAM
cans twirl down to earth's night sky.
A streak! The pigs squeal.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15845.
Friendly SPAM-cubes in
the bowl nuzzle Cap'n Crunch
as I say the grace.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15846.
rectangular block
of vibrant, searing pinkness
mocks me from afar

--Anonymous

15847.
I like to eat SPAM
the good gelatinous meat
(if it is a meat).

--Anonymous

15848.
I'm the SPAM guru
Introduce you to SPAM god
Strike him down god meat

--Monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15849.
In the land of SPAM
There lived a crazy monkey
Leaking tears of goo!

--monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15850.
Played ukelele
until I ate my first SPAM.
Now I play the drums.

--Monkeegod & Spishy boy, monkeegod@yahoo.com & spishyboy@yahoo.com

15851.
15,000 SPAM
Floating around in archive
I'm lost oh no help!

--monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15852.
Yum SPAM in bathroom
I am confused on its way
In or out of me

--monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15853.
It's SPAM or cat food
I'll taste it to find out which
It's SPAM or cat food.

--spishyboy, spishyboy@ahoo.com

15854.
SPAM made from duck spleen
I'd rather have its liver
But who can complain

--monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15855.
War days are over.
Victories of SPAM are but
a tale to be told.

--Milford Pigboy

15856.
Fifties were NOT a
golden age; threatening with
SPAM conformity.

--Milford Pigboy

15857.
"Duck and cover!" Keep
your fallout shelter well-stocked
with SPAM and water.

--Milford Pigboy

15858.
Blue suede shoes slip in
spilled SPAM liquid; poodle skirt-
clad butt falls on floor.

--Milford Pigboy

15859.
standing pink and firm
quivering I await you
I substitute meat

--Dan Erlandson, firedan@ricochet.net

15860.
Romantic letter
to my love; envelope marked:
"Sealed with SPAM liquid."

--Milford Pigboy

15861.
Porcine Romeo
and Juliet united
in same can of SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15862.
political whim
sole-source aquifer recharge
blue can management

--fwed

15863.
My key is broken.
The SPAM inside is calling.
Oh, why was I born?

--Stinky X. Wobblyfart

15864.
"Spiced ham" in blue can:
Do not put your faith in such
trinkets of deceit.

--Milford Pigboy

15865.
Ten years in the can.
Total F. Loser will soon
SPAM hara-kiri.

--Sad Loser, Worthless@TheBoneyard.com

15866.
Ten years in the can.
Overcome by events and
crying in his SPAM.

--Sad Loser, Worthless@TheBoneyard.com

15867.
Ten years in the can.
Does this mean he is better
preserved than new SPAM??

--Sad Loser, Worthless@TheBoneyard.com

15868.
Ten years in the can.
No more glistening gel in
my head. Rock-hard SPAM.

--Sad Loser, Worthless@TheBoneyard.com

15869.
I can't believe how
much Gravy can be slurped each
day in this SPAMLand.

--Big Straw, Feeding@TheBoneyard.com

15870.
Pink jellied meat block
Only in America
Does this count as food

--Clif Duhn, cduhn@iupui.edu

15871.
Autumn rains return;
wash pig stink from the air and
SPAM grease from sidewalks.

--Milford Pigboy

15872.
A SPAM haiku takes
Just seventeen syllables
To express a truth

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@ameritech.net

15873.
Satan offers choice:
"Eat SPAM, then leave, or stay here...
Hormel or more Hell?"

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@ameritech.net

15874.
Oh mystery meat--
Fried to crispy perfection
Arteries slam shut!

--Jeannen N. Calvin, mochawoman1@yahoo.com

15875.
Eat not of the SPAM;
it's old and contains many
woeful memories.

--Milford Pigboy

15876.
The man who eats SPAM
is mostly full of himself,
price for being right.

--fwed

15877.
A birthday SPAM cake
Candles in meat all aglow
What a happy day

--Jeff N.

15878.
O ye SPAM eaters:
Come visit this hell where hogs
walk with earthly feet.

--Milford Pigboy

15879.
What zero-G food
is eaten by Pigs in Space?
SPAM made from humans?

--Milford Pigboy

15880.
There's SPAM in my fridge
Time stands still for the pink cube...
Meat of the Ages!

--Clif Duhn, cduhn@iupui.edu

15881.
Three of SPAM's virtues:
indestructibility,
texture, brand appeal.

--Fozzie

15882.
How could I forget?
Going vegetarian
would mean no more SPAM.

--kittystefan@netzero.net

15883.
"Vegetarian?"
"Why, yes I am. Except for
eating SPAM, of course."

--Anonymous

15884.
Why write SPAM haiku?
People are still eating SPAM;
futile exercise!

--Milford Pigboy

15885.
SPAM is opiate
of masses, consolation
in a troubled world.

--Milford Pigboy

15886.
Why glorify SPAM?
Get your warm, fuzzy feeling
from box of puppies.

--Milford Pigboy

15887.
SPAM is devilish
meat; deforms the face and makes
men look like monkeys.

--Milford Pigboy

15888.
A saint, grilled like SPAM
slice, does not play childish tricks!
Fat sizzles for truth.

--St. Laurence

15889.
i love the coolness
(although sometimes i've fried it)
but ah the coolness

--lupinaceous

15890.
vegetarians
are missing out on something
pink and in a can

--lupinaceous

15891.
while we have freedom
time and a can opener
lets sink our teeth in

--lupinaceous

15892.
we have reached the point
where sandwiches mean nothing
unless bread meets SPAM

--lupinaceous

15893.
Enigmatic box
Shrouded and unexamined
Mysterious meat!!

--Shannon Samson, lady_iris33@hotmail.com

15894.
SPAM in her small dish
The cat turns her nose up high
Leaving it sit there

--Anonymous

15895.
My Grandpa eats SPAM
It looks like cat food to me
Grandpa has whiskers

--B.

15896.
Oh ye SPAM I seek,
Can I control my craving!
I loathe you, SPAM scourge.

--John, SkierPro1@aol.com

15897.
Hear the dinner gong--
Cheeses of the globe unite
On SPAM we will sup

--Halibut Speam

15898.
Pink spotty meat cube
Hormel's name for it is SPAM
I call it SCARY

--Clif Duhn, cduhn@iupui.edu

15899.
Hog manure slurry
is the most disgusting waste
to blight Planet Earth

--Milford Pigboy

15900.
Long dusty ride ends.
Smell of sagebrush replaced by
pig stink. Home at last!

--Milford Pigboy


Move forwards to Numbers 15901-16000.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.