SPAM Haiku 15801-15900

Move backwards to Numbers 15701-15800.

15801.
Unwanted email
Filling up my inbox tray
Oh! Wrong kind of spam.

--Curtis Bennett, die_kluge@hotmail.com

15802.
A crystal blue lake
A strike! I have caught a fish!
SPAM makes good fish bait.

--Curtis Bennett, die_kluge@hotmail.com

15803.
Elected leaders
decided pig farms are in
YOUR best interests!

--Milford Pigboy

15804.
Dedication of
pig farm: can't find a rabbi
to give the blessing.

--Milford Pigboy

15805.
Ants gather around
Feast upon this meaty mass
I watch them explode

--Tom, kg4cyx@yahoo.com

15806.
"SPAM? You... you eat it?"
"Mmm, mmm. Except in Lent! I'm
a good Catholic."

--Milford Pigboy

15807.
O Lucifer be
at my service for love of
the other Pink Meat.

--Milford Pigboy

15808.
The defective SPAM
must now be consigned to the
purifying flame!

--Bernardo Gui

15809.
Necromancers seek
the ultimate vile ichor
unholy SPAM goo

--Chuck Beard

15810.
fresh SPAM gelatin
harvested by a virgin
for evil magicks

--Chuck Beard

15811.
G.I. Joe once said,
"Knowing is half the battle."
The other half? SPAM!

--Fozzie

15812.
Lilies in the field
Sun setting on a clear lake
I vomit up SPAM

--Curtis Bennett, die_kluge@hotmail.com

15813.
Nostalgia dreams of
perfect Norman Rockwell home;
cheery Mom serves SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15814.
The bloody-eyed and
cloven-hoofed Antichrist was
inventor of SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15815.
history finished,
we live now without belief
but SPAM does not change

--perkin@freeuk.com

15816.
Al has the eyes of
a girl seeking intercourse
with the devil's SPAM.

--Pat Robertson

15817.
SPAM is delicious
If you're extremely hungry
But I prefer beef.

--Tinkerbell

15818.
Great lies: "Check is in
mail," "I won't come in your mouth,"
"Pig lagoons don't leak!"

--Milford Pigboy

15819.
lose weight before noon
first make SPAMcakes for breakfast
lose weight before noon

--minnie, minnimi21@netscape.net

15820.
the summer, the sun;
a beautiful blonde-haired girl;
smells of love, and SPAM

--Brian A., bcallen@umich.edu

15821.
A tribute: to pigs
who give their lives so that we,
through SPAM, share their pain.

--Brian A., bcallen@umich.edu

15822.
O, SPAM's like lost love:
Both strange and mysterious;
both stink like dead pork.

--Brian A.

15823.
Love, charity, truth,
prudence, SPAM haiku... against
these there is no law.

--St. Paul (transcribed by Brian A.)

15824.
Menudo, haggis,
scrapple, SPAM: byproducts by
any other name.

--Milford Pigboy

15825.
Life of misery
Hairless, pink, clovenhooved, blind
Blue can of remains

--fwed

15826.
How beautiful are
the pigs just before they are
processed into SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15827.
Such sweet music they
make hanging from hooks as life
blood drains from slit throats.

--Milford Pigboy

15828.
ask any mermaid
you happen to see, SPAM is
dolphin friendly meat

--eugene yamashiro, yamashir@earthlink.net

15829.
small boy sniff pink meat
magical meal, hot in pan
happy breakfast time

--eugene yamashiro, yamashir@earthlink.net

15830.
Poor Lovecraft tastes SPAM
Amorphous Eldritch meat-blob
Great Cthulhu is born

--Joe Dackman

15831.
Disappearing cats
Pit bull wrongfully accused
Hormel plant nearby!

--Joe Dackman

15832.
Ozzy Osborne bit
heads off many bats and birds
but still won't touch SPAM!

--Joe Dackman

15833.
Sacrament of SPAM
we partake, and then we pray
to porcelain god.

--Joe Dackman

15834.
Miracle of SPAM
everlasting, eternal
denies entropy.

--Joe Dackman

15835.
To increase value
of home, enclose in cocoon
of SPAM bricks. Sells fast!

--Fozzie

15836.
Also, insulate
your home with SPAM. Energy
saving food storage!

--Fozzie

15837.
Last, fill waterbed
with SPAM. It may smell greasy,
but man, it's comfy!

--Fozzie

15838.
pork teeth, pig assholes,
ham cocks, hog eyes to see with,
flatulent blue can

--buck toothed freak, buck toothed freak.com

15839.
truck loads of hot SPAM
gleaming on god's highway dawn
dead indians galore

--jim morrison, i'm not dead yet@msn .com

15840.
SPAM gleams in the morn'.
We yearn for that pinkly meat,
trailer-girl and me.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15841.
Pink goo twinkles in
the Florida sun through my
mobile home window.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15842.
Spent welfare check on:
Ripple, Schlitz, Wild Irish Rose.
Just SPAM in cupboard.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15843.
The crinkle of tin.
The pork twinkles softly there.
My intestines cramp.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15844.
Out the airlock, SPAM
cans twirl down to earth's night sky.
A streak! The pigs squeal.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15845.
Friendly SPAM-cubes in
the bowl nuzzle Cap'n Crunch
as I say the grace.

--Erik Bryer, ebryer@spots.ab.ca

15846.
rectangular block
of vibrant, searing pinkness
mocks me from afar

--Anonymous

15847.
I like to eat SPAM
the good gelatinous meat
(if it is a meat).

--Anonymous

15848.
I'm the SPAM guru
Introduce you to SPAM god
Strike him down god meat

--Monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15849.
In the land of SPAM
There lived a crazy monkey
Leaking tears of goo!

--monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15850.
Played ukelele
until I ate my first SPAM.
Now I play the drums.

--Monkeegod & Spishy boy, monkeegod@yahoo.com & spishyboy@yahoo.com

15851.
15,000 SPAM
Floating around in archive
I'm lost oh no help!

--monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15852.
Yum SPAM in bathroom
I am confused on its way
In or out of me

--monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15853.
It's SPAM or cat food
I'll taste it to find out which
It's SPAM or cat food.

--spishyboy, spishyboy@ahoo.com

15854.
SPAM made from duck spleen
I'd rather have its liver
But who can complain

--monkeegod, monkeegod@yahoo.com

15855.
War days are over.
Victories of SPAM are but
a tale to be told.

--Milford Pigboy

15856.
Fifties were NOT a
golden age; threatening with
SPAM conformity.

--Milford Pigboy

15857.
"Duck and cover!" Keep
your fallout shelter well-stocked
with SPAM and water.

--Milford Pigboy

15858.
Blue suede shoes slip in
spilled SPAM liquid; poodle skirt-
clad butt falls on floor.

--Milford Pigboy

15859.
standing pink and firm
quivering I await you
I substitute meat

--Dan Erlandson, firedan@ricochet.net

15860.
Romantic letter
to my love; envelope marked:
"Sealed with SPAM liquid."

--Milford Pigboy

15861.
Porcine Romeo
and Juliet united
in same can of SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15862.
political whim
sole-source aquifer recharge
blue can management

--fwed

15863.
My key is broken.
The SPAM inside is calling.
Oh, why was I born?

--Stinky X. Wobblyfart

15864.
"Spiced ham" in blue can:
Do not put your faith in such
trinkets of deceit.

--Milford Pigboy

15865.
Ten years in the can.
Total F. Loser will soon
SPAM hara-kiri.

--Sad Loser, Worthless@TheBoneyard.com

15866.
Ten years in the can.
Overcome by events and
crying in his SPAM.

--Sad Loser, Worthless@TheBoneyard.com

15867.
Ten years in the can.
Does this mean he is better
preserved than new SPAM??

--Sad Loser, Worthless@TheBoneyard.com

15868.
Ten years in the can.
No more glistening gel in
my head. Rock-hard SPAM.

--Sad Loser, Worthless@TheBoneyard.com

15869.
I can't believe how
much Gravy can be slurped each
day in this SPAMLand.

--Big Straw, Feeding@TheBoneyard.com

15870.
Pink jellied meat block
Only in America
Does this count as food

--Clif Duhn, cduhn@iupui.edu

15871.
Autumn rains return;
wash pig stink from the air and
SPAM grease from sidewalks.

--Milford Pigboy

15872.
A SPAM haiku takes
Just seventeen syllables
To express a truth

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@ameritech.net

15873.
Satan offers choice:
"Eat SPAM, then leave, or stay here...
Hormel or more Hell?"

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@ameritech.net

15874.
Oh mystery meat--
Fried to crispy perfection
Arteries slam shut!

--Jeannen N. Calvin, mochawoman1@yahoo.com

15875.
Eat not of the SPAM;
it's old and contains many
woeful memories.

--Milford Pigboy

15876.
The man who eats SPAM
is mostly full of himself,
price for being right.

--fwed

15877.
A birthday SPAM cake
Candles in meat all aglow
What a happy day

--Jeff N.

15878.
O ye SPAM eaters:
Come visit this hell where hogs
walk with earthly feet.

--Milford Pigboy

15879.
What zero-G food
is eaten by Pigs in Space?
SPAM made from humans?

--Milford Pigboy

15880.
There's SPAM in my fridge
Time stands still for the pink cube...
Meat of the Ages!

--Clif Duhn, cduhn@iupui.edu

15881.
Three of SPAM's virtues:
indestructibility,
texture, brand appeal.

--Fozzie

15882.
How could I forget?
Going vegetarian
would mean no more SPAM.

--kittystefan@netzero.net

15883.
"Vegetarian?"
"Why, yes I am. Except for
eating SPAM, of course."

--Anonymous

15884.
Why write SPAM haiku?
People are still eating SPAM;
futile exercise!

--Milford Pigboy

15885.
SPAM is opiate
of masses, consolation
in a troubled world.

--Milford Pigboy

15886.
Why glorify SPAM?
Get your warm, fuzzy feeling
from box of puppies.

--Milford Pigboy

15887.
SPAM is devilish
meat; deforms the face and makes
men look like monkeys.

--Milford Pigboy

15888.
A saint, grilled like SPAM
slice, does not play childish tricks!
Fat sizzles for truth.

--St. Laurence

15889.
i love the coolness
(although sometimes i've fried it)
but ah the coolness

--lupinaceous

15890.
vegetarians
are missing out on something
pink and in a can

--lupinaceous

15891.
while we have freedom
time and a can opener
lets sink our teeth in

--lupinaceous

15892.
we have reached the point
where sandwiches mean nothing
unless bread meets SPAM

--lupinaceous

15893.
Enigmatic box
Shrouded and unexamined
Mysterious meat!!

--Shannon Samson, lady_iris33@hotmail.com

15894.
SPAM in her small dish
The cat turns her nose up high
Leaving it sit there

--Anonymous

15895.
My Grandpa eats SPAM
It looks like cat food to me
Grandpa has whiskers

--B.

15896.
Oh ye SPAM I seek,
Can I control my craving!
I loathe you, SPAM scourge.

--John, SkierPro1@aol.com

15897.
Hear the dinner gong--
Cheeses of the globe unite
On SPAM we will sup

--Halibut Speam

15898.
Pink spotty meat cube
Hormel's name for it is SPAM
I call it SCARY

--Clif Duhn, cduhn@iupui.edu

15899.
Hog manure slurry
is the most disgusting waste
to blight Planet Earth

--Milford Pigboy

15900.
Long dusty ride ends.
Smell of sagebrush replaced by
pig stink. Home at last!

--Milford Pigboy