SPAM Haiku 16401-16500

Move backwards to Numbers 16301-16400.


16401.
canned SPAM turns me on
it makes me so horny, i'm
screaming with delight
--wart

16402.
i dream about SPAM
every night in my dreams
i dream about SPAM

--wart

16403.
I wrote a SPAM-ku
When there were only hundreds
I take it all back

--John Sahr, jdsahr@u.washington.edu

16404.
Heard about C-SPAM?
Pork barrel politicians,
speaking pig latin!

--Kyle Hendrickson, khendrickson@erols.com

16405.
Did God create SPAM?
Or was it the work of the
Devil and Hormel?

--j nov

16406.
Total Flake SPAMHead.
Missed meeting: e-mail to write.
Shareholder Value !!!

--Laid Back, In_Limbo@The_Boneyard.com

16407.
It's sister's birthday.
Made her a Jell-O cake; but
no SPAM candles found.

--Laid Back, In_Limbo@The_Boneyard.com

16408.
Premillennial
Dispensationalism.......
heresy AND SPAM!!

--Laid Back, In_Limbo@The_Boneyard.com

16409.
I lost my old boss.
New boss says, "Too busy now."
I read/write SPAMKu.

--Laid Back, In_Limbo@The_Boneyard.com

16410.
My job skills are too
few.... total stupidity.
Will SPAM now hit fan??

--Laid Back, In_Limbo@The_Boneyard.com

16411.
I'm in aerospace.
SPAMbrain idiot: I'm still
overqualified!!!

--Laid Back, In_Limbo@The_Boneyard.com

16412.
Pink makes me think, so
Of places I should not go
But still they will know

--Timmy, sleeping@The_Boneyard.com

16413.
The coliseum
Is no place for the timid
Your guts look like SPAM

--Timmy, sleeping@The_Boneyard.com

16414.
Large SPAM ingestion.
I vomit a great distance.
A new World's Record.

--James Stroup, james@rdr.net

16415.
How is it that I,
once a sane human being,
fantasize 'bout SPAM.

--James Stroup, james@rdr.net

16416.
Sitting on toilet.
I deposit my SPAM waste.
Porcelain erupts.

--James Stroup, james@rdr.net

16417.
Turned the key and saw
crimes against pigmanity
slide onto my plate.

--Teri Anderson, washbear_1999@yahoo.com

16418.
May your Thanksgiving
table be devoid of pink
pig pressed in a can.

--Teri Anderson, washbear_1999@yahoo.com

16419.
As found in nature
Roaches will not approach SPAM
But they can be trained!

--Mark W. Williamson, Williamson@casneredwards.com

16420.
The proud pig's rectum
Once treasured for its function
Now loved just for taste

--Mark W. Williamson, Williamson@Casneredwards.com

16421.
O SPAM, te amo
Sure, you taste a bit corpse-y
but so does flank steak!

--Mark W. Williamson, Williamson@Casneredwards.com

16422.
How sad, Miss Piggy
Who once was Kermit's lover
Now a moist pink log

--Williamson, Williamson@Casneredwards.com

16423.
Compressed pig-chad loaf:
for whom would you have voted?
The Orthodox Jew?

--Milford Pigboy

16424.
Late at night I dream,
SPAM: Spare Parts And Mucilage.
It is a nightmare.

--James Stroup, james@rdr.net

16425.
vile swine in a can
why dost thou tempt me piggy?
devastated Jew

--Amy, cherubrockk@aol.com

16426.
Let me share with you
My wonderful dream last night
All-you-can-eat SPAM

--SPAMgirl

16427.
Drippy pink solace
comes from blue can to comfort
post-election blues.

--Milford Pigboy

16428.
Will of the people:
Get government off our backs
and give us more SPAM!

--Milford Pigboy

16429.
9 am meeting.
Did not bring my SPAM last week.
They did not miss me.

--GravyHead, oozing@the_boneyard.com

16430.
Incredible SPAM:
Seven people, no action.
My brain in neutral.

--GravyHead, oozing@the_boneyard.com

16431.
Six months later we
are still talking the same stuff.
At least SPAM ages.

--GravyHead, oozing@the_boneyard.com

16432.
Salt in SPAM preserves.
Salt here falls in open wounds:
salty foaming snails.

--GravyHead, oozing@the_boneyard.com

16433.
The chief shaved his head,
something to do, change needed.
Pig snouts have more hair.

--GravyHead, oozing@the_boneyard.com

16434.
Speaking of more hair:
do those snouts get shaved before
the canning process??

--GravyHead, oozing@the_boneyard.com

16435.
Now that scary thought
will make me donate razors
to Mister Hormel.

--GravyHead, oozing@the_boneyard.com

16436.
Stiff toothbrush bristles.
Is there a market for this
pre-SPAM byproduct??

--GravyHead, oozing@the_boneyard.com

16437.
It's the next dot.com!!
Maybe Hormel already
has this idea.

--GravyHead, oozing@the_boneyard.com

16438.
On Thanksgiving Day,
most families eat turkey.
But our "bird" is SPAM.

--Fozzie

16439.
I fashion coins out
of old SPAM loaves and flick them
in the wishing well.

--Fozzie

16440.
Let SPAM and all its
juices flow forth as rivers
to quench a parched world!

--Fozzie

16441.
i have not had the
joy of tasting SPAM yet so
tell me, is it good?

--hoodiemonster, hoodiemonster@insanitymail.com

16442.
Quivering, pink flesh.
Deliciously, moistened mound!
Mmmmm, salty sweetness!

--John Donato, jd_donato@hotmail.com

16443.
Swineherd's job: convince
pigs their interests and his
are one and the same.

--Milford Pigboy

16444.
SPAM, almost-meat food
Stomach turns over again
Scrape jelly next time

--Mo_town_hot_girl@yahoo.com

16445.
Frozen for eons
in Arctic ice, now thaws the
great woolly SPAMmoth.

--Fozzie

16446.
A dark lonely night
My stomach quivers again
1-900-SPAM

--Hugh, grewco1@cs.com

16447.
I want a girl who
has big blonde hair, big tits and
loves to munch on SPAM.

--j nov

16448.
Who's the wise guy that
brought the SPAM to this potluck?
Thank God for Rolaids!

--Ohio-Gremlin

16449.
YECCH!!...Abandoned by
an astronaut on the moon.
Half a SPAM sandwich.

--Ohio-Gremlin

16450.
The Bruce Willis film
LETHAL CONTAINER OF PORK
had cost overruns.

--Ohio-Gremlin

16451.
A stench hits my nose,
jelly slides down my fingers,
the can is open.

--Chris

16452.
'60s memories
My aunt recalls each Tuesday
Family SPAM night

--Sally Credle, scredle@usa.net

16453.
Pathetic Christmas:
emptying your stocking, to
find a lump of SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16454.
SPAM is so tasty,
So pink and so very moist.
SPAM, I love you. True.

--Rosey

16455.
Last time I ate it
I went into a coma
Let's have some more please!

--Sarah

16456.
I tried to impress
the guy I love with my SPAM
Haiku. Wouldn't you?

--Lynn F.

16457.
What is this SPAM, Man?!
Is this SPAM French butter clam?
Ham and shouldered pork!

--James Burmester, shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16458.
Demented SPAM Cans
The Damn Gel Sticks to the top
What's the deal Punky!

--Arghlop Huh Henderson, pschoujens@hotmail.com

16459.
It is all spread out
Toilet and SPAM room out back
Lower lid when done!

--Brett Gilliam, ibsnd@hotmail.com

16460.
I come home, starving
Nothing to eat but the SPAM
Went to bed empty

--burford

16461.
Is SPAM food or not
I need to know this quite soon
It is near my mouth

--burford

16462.
SPAM is greasy food
Originated in war
SPAM sandwich? Eww gross!!!!!!!!

--SPAMboy

16463.
As an Englishman
I claim the SPAM genesis.
Eat it with brown sauce.

--Nige, nige@nboothman.freeserve.co.uk

16464.
Pigs, technology,
Transport, marketing, sales, lunch.
Eat. Digest. Excrete.

--Nige, nige@nboothman.freeserve.co.uk

16465.
There must be some SPAM
when its time to eat my lunch
or I will get mad.

--Trey Smith, Distorted_Faith@hotmail.com

16466.
When I think of meat
Never do I think of SPAM
For it is not this

--Trey Smith, Distorted_Faith@hotmail.com

16467.
I'm shot in the chest
Life flashes before my eyes
Millions of SPAM cans

--Trey Smith, Distorted_Faith@hotmail.com

16468.
As I sit and think
Only one thing comes to mind
My best friend is SPAM

--Rebecca, GreekGoddes@hotmail.com

16469.
Christianity
It was a good religion
My new one is SPAM

--Trey Smith, Distorted_Faith@hotmail.com

16470.
Naught to eat but SPAM
Summer of our discontent
I am losing weight

--Norm DePlume

16471.
SPAM for president
It could do no harm as chief
A nuclear winter

--Norm DePlume

16472.
shall i consume SPAM?
ground, squished, quivering, pink, pig
locked in can with key

--mightybobo

16473.
Still I sit awake
My boredom strikes... what to do?
Write a "phat" SPAM-ku

--Joe, JoeSiggie@msn.com

16474.
What happened to Joe?
The workers fired at Hormel
get chewed out and canned.

--Anonymous

16475.
Dead waste meat shakes pink
As a pageant winner walks
Almost as slimy

--Anonymous

16476.
Knuckle meat and eye
Jiggles like a hooker struts
Spicy little tramp

--Anonymous

16477.
I feed my lovers
Flowers that I sculpt from SPAM
Love's the same as hate

--Anonymous

16478.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Niece Believing SPAM Consumed
Naiveness Defined

--son of MSB

16479.
SPAM and Soylent Green.
They're made of pork and people.
Pass the salad, please.

--Tyler Gagnon

16480.
Slit finger--sharp edge
causes blood to soak moist block.
Pink shades toward red.

--Zorba the Geek

16481.
Rooftop assassin
fires jellied cube of meat death.
Innocents bleed, pink.

--Zorba the Geek, mariom@postmaster.co.uk

16482.
Knife stops halfway in,
No visible sign of bone.
Appetite's going.

--Zorba the Geek, mario_miniaci@postmaster.co.uk

16483.
what meat is this who
laid to rest on greasy plate
is now slumbering

--Anonymous

16484.
Deliberations
end. We anxiously await
Supreme SPAM verdict.

--Milford Pigboy

16485.
Justice Scalia,
partisan lover of pork,
serves us SPAM hors d'oeuvres.

--Milford Pigboy

16486.
SPAM bam thank you ma'am
You can whistle while you work
SPAM, bam buh dam duh

--James Burmester, shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16487.
I like SPAM, a lot
SPAM is really good for you
Spoom bah doom SPAM pan

--Jacob Schauberger

16488.
lick SPAM lickihdy
damn, Stan chop the SPAM quickly
SPAM lamb wham zip zam

--Jordan Schauberger

16489.
SPAM is monkey meat
SPAM is in no way pork chops
SPAM ratchicken rules

--guert

16490.
Sunrise. Flowers bloom.
Birds sing. My children awake
To Daddy's SPAM-fest.

--Stu, s2mumford@aol.com

16491.
Is it animal?
Vegetable? Or mineral?
I don't care... SPAM Rules!!

--Stu, s2mumford@aol.com

16492.
A tiny nibble
Hook set! My limp line tightens...
SPAM fights like tuna.

--Stu, s2mumford@aol.com

16493.
Pinky porky SPAM.
How long on my window sill
till you burst your can?

--Gregg Hopkins, vintageamp@ZYXaol.com (removeZYX)

16494.
The sign said, "FREE SPAM!"
Must have been hard to resist.
Jewish dilemma.

--Jack Salmon

16495.
Keeping my mouth shut,
not even SPAM gel passes:
new group and new boss!!

--Nervous, NewBie@the_boneyard.com

16496.
Taxpayer SPAMHeads
milking the LM budget
for ev'ry nickel.

--Nervous, NewBie@the_boneyard.com

16497.
Unbelievable!!!!
SPAM is perfection compared
to sub "navigate."

--Nervous, NewBie@the_boneyard.com

16498.
Pig innards slimy.
Computer innards are not.
Pigs function to spec.....

--Nervous, NewBie@the_boneyard.com

16499.
Hamstrung. That sounds too
funny in context of this
non-coordination.

--Nervous, NewBie@the_boneyard.com

16500.
With all the bad SPAM
being eaten in this room,
we should be puking!!!!

--Nervous, NewBie@the_boneyard.com


Move forwards to Numbers 16501-16600.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.